This is Chase. He's been branded as something of an escape artist. Unfortunately there were witnesses and victims in his latest attempt. 14/10 (TT: whimsicaleyecrustys)

Those who don’t learn from the pasta are doomed to reheat it I am not even sorry you read this

You know how kittens do those little pretend jumps when they’re getting ready to do a really big jump? Like they’re hyping themselves up? Dandy just did that, but to jump from the bed, to my stomach. Is she calling me fat? I’m not sure my self esteem will recover from this.

Blueberry cake is done. Sugar Free. Almond flour batter. Very low on Glycemic scale. Every Dessert has been a winner.

I almost bought a salad today, but then I remembered explosive poo parasite so bought a slice of pizza instead. Make healthy choices!

Thomas Massie: “It’s ironic that we control the House, Senate, Supreme Court, and the White House, and we’re yelling ‘election fraud’? We won all the damn elections.”

Thou shalt not whitewash a Senator’s lifelong racism and warmongering. You will all be remembered accordingly for your words and deeds.

Siouxsie of the day 🖤

Maine is in absolute outrage! Protesters took over Senator Susan Collins’ office chanting "VOTE HER OUT" after an ICE thug brutally executed a 26-year-old Colombian man. We demand immediate accountability for this state-sponsored murder! Enough is enough!

Laura Dern pays tribute to Sam Neill. “Sam was my beloved lifetime friend. He showed me the depths of loyalty, protectiveness and love, always with the driest wit. He was a true and noble gentleman, wrapped up in my dream leading man. I will love you forever, Dr. Alan Grant.”

We have reached such a level of freedom in America that the government no longer knows which companies are selling food that makes people shit themselves to death.

I hate to say this but I agree this is what they want to do!! 😡

My Polish cousin sent her daughter over to stay with us in England for the weekend as she wanted to go to an anime convention. It turns out being a 47 year old man waiting alone in an airport for a 17 year old Polish girl does alert the authorities.

@jamestalarico.bsky.social packed the historic Plaza Theatre in downtown El Paso last night, taking questions directly from Texans.

Curious to hear Mitch McConnell's comments on the passing of Lindsey Graham.

The demonic entity known as Lindsey Graham departed his mortal form at 71 human years old. Graham was one of the biggest warmongers in the US Senate. He never wasted a moment to get on TV and promote senseless atrocities. May the ghosts of his victims haunt his soul for eternity.

My tail won't stop wagging because someone gave me a chance! 🐾💖 Original post

Dog woke me up to go pee but in my head I’m telling myself it’s because she wanted to tell me Graham died.

Lindsey Graham has left the fxckin' building, folks. And while I'm normally not one to do this, he's the first of what I expect will be MANY times I do this in response to news of this kind. Na na na na Na na na na Hey hey hey Goodbye! Happiest news so far this year. Not even a *little* sorry.

Husband and I share our location on find my iPhone. I mainly use it to check if I can quickly gobble down a Tunnock's Caramel from my secret stash without him catching me in the act.

Me and the boys heading to our Friday meeting with Mitch McConnell

🐶 No politics.😅 No arguments. Just dogs. Reply with the happiest photo of your dog. Let's make this the most wholesome thread on X today. ❤️ Original post

Have been ordering chippy for lunch every Monday for months. On a diet so didn't order two weeks in a row. Owner of the chippy came to my house to make sure I was alright. Made me feel like a right fat bastard.

🤣🤣🤣 Perfect answer

Mitch McConnell just called me and asked me about my car's extended warranty. I don't even have a car.

😂😂😂🐧

A car repair place called Auto Correct.

I really relate to cats because I too am a huge bitch all the time and still expect affection when I want it.

"Islamic Republic of Japan" implies one of the greatest fusion cuisines in human history.

I’m baking banana bread to make French toast with it

I love baking fails theyre always like "why did my fudge brownie look like a lump of coal? I followed the recipe except I replaced the eggs with apple sauce and chia seeds"

My Mexican side is having me make enchiladas for dinner but my white side is making me lazy and doing them as a casserole

Add your fess: http://b3ta.com/addfess

my foster dog is getting adopted today! everyone say “happy gotcha day Mr. Dude”

There was a mix up in our grocery order. (Yes, I order for delivery because I'm experiencing not being able to walk.) I ordered ice cream -- something normal and sedate. I received Black Raspberry Fudge. OMG, so good. No really so so good. Thank you to the God's of grocery. #icecream #joy

If only we had a warning that his 2nd presidency would end up like this.

Thinking it was being taken back to the shelter, the dog was overcome with sorrow, unaware that it was actually going to officially be adopted. You can see how grateful he is. Drop a follow

Later...

when you’ve just seen mitch mcconnell

A price tag should be a price tag. It should not change because an algorithm knows your income, your location, your search history, or how badly you need groceries. We can stop these corrupt bigshots from turning Texas stores into AI price-gouging machines.

When WE THE PEOPLE FIGHT, WE WIN The largest data center project ever proposed in the U.S.—to be built in Prince William County, Virginia—is officially dead. oilprice.com/Energy/Energ...

This woman did not just ask me if I'd like Chick-fil-A... I know this is my first time meeting her but like, do I look like I eat bigot chicken? Seriously. Stuffing Jesus in a chicken sandwich aside, I at least look like I season my food with more than pickle juice.

Paxton warned Texans not to lie about their address to vote. Then voted six times from an address he'd already moved out of. Somebody call the tip line on the guy who runs the tip line.

NEW: Senator Mitch McConnell speaks to supporters in his library

🚨BREAKING: California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) will introduce new legislation making ballot seizure before they are counted and certified by a state or county official a felony. In a July 4 recorded speech, Newsom was not shy about who the law targets. www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...

A service dog training to protect his owner's head when she has a seizure.

I now have a pair of crows..an attempted murder?...who have adopted me. They sit in my driveway while I'm watering the front garden and tell me everything I'm doing wrong with my life. So, between the cats and now crows congregating in my yard, it's imperative I start dressing like Stevie Nicks.