Every time I experience turbulence, I am 100% convinced the plane is going down and I'm going to die.

For everyone wondering where I was while I wasn't posting, here's a clue. 💕

I don't wear makeup daily anymore, but when I do, you can't tell me anything. I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

Gonna be taking a little bit of a posting break while I'm escaping the frigid NY weather to warmer places. Have fun without me, everyone! 📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social

Every hallway needs a "slow as shit people" lane and a "people who walk a normal human speed" lane.

I deeply hate how SWs are expected now to have lengthy newsletters, 17 social media accounts, constantly changing ad copy and photos, and a plethora of other admin tasks to be keeping up with. I miss pre-SESTA/FOSTA when I could toss up a pic on Craigslist and get 17 credible inquiries in 10 minutes

Wikipedia pages for TV shows/movies should include where they're currently streaming.

The beauty of NY is looking out my window during a blizzard and seeing people trudging through the snow to the still-open bodegas. The dedication is gorgeous, couldn't be me.

I just don't understand why people who don't need it for money are still on Twitter. SWs fine I get that, but like... regular people? Just taking psychic damage every day voluntarily? For what?

It's amazing how you can learn to tune out sounds, like living right near a subway or my newest one: my cat screaming for the full hour between every meal.

Way too many grown adults don't know how to chew with their mouths closed. Who raised y'all, a cow??

I've been doing my own makeup for over 20 years now and I am completely incapable of making my eyeliner wings match each other. Idk if I'll ever get there.

I'm single-handedly keeping the Cops theme song alive because I have 2 badly behaved male cats and I sing it to them daily.

On the first day it's over 60 degrees this year, NYers are gonna be FERAL. This winter has been so bad, we're gonna lose our minds.

I only have 6 states left to hit all 50 so I'm offering a FMTY special for 2026 to help me reach that goal! If you fly me to Arizona, New Mexico, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Mississippi, you can take 50% off a date of 6 hours or more! You still cover lodging & transit, but what a deal!

Taking your sex worker to a musical about sex work on Valentine's Day is always the right choice!

Getting a Marigold notification feels like pressing a vibrator up against my ****

One of the best things about Valentine's Day is seeing a bunch of people on the subway with bouquets of flowers. 🥰

Screening exists for the obvious reasons (to make sure you're not violent, etc...) but it also exists to see if you can follow basic instructions and are willing to do something inconvenient to respect me.

We should forgo foreign exchange programs for high schoolers and start doing domestic exchange programs, like kids from Alabama swap with kids from Boston to learn more about each other's cultures.

People think I'm being meaner than I am all the time and idk how to stop it. What is it about the way I communicate that reads as mean to everyone?? I'm really not trying to be nasty 99% of the time! But if you like a mean woman, apparently I'm unintentionally your girl!

NYers always complain about wanting to get cheap food and beautiful nature but act like they'll get shot the second they cross over into The Bronx. Manhattan and Brooklyn are not the only boroughs!!

You know when you do a stretch so good your whole body kinda tingles? What a reason to be alive.

The only sports I care about in the Olympics are the pretty ones: figure skating and gymnastics

Sometimes I'll be watching an old cartoon from the 90s or 2000s and I'll see some sort of "progressive" plot point that nobody commented on back then but would send conservatives into a full spiral today. The overton window has shifted big time.

There's a SW I keep seeing whose name is a very Jewish specific word that's deeply not nice and idk how either nobody has told her yet or how she doesn't care that she's appropriating this word. 😬

Dog people act like dogs are the only good animals in the world, whereas cat/rabbit/lizard/whatever people are normal and acknowledge the goodness of all animals.

The literal biohazard that is dog piss all over the unmelted snow everywhere in this city is so disgusting, idk how anyone likes winter.

Half my friendship with @laurenkiley.bsky.social is just her texting me silly things about Florida that sound fake but are somehow very real, like iguanas falling from the sky because it's cold or peacock vasectomy programs.

Everybody is associating pink and green stuff with Wicked, but I'm still on associating it with Cosmo and Wanda.

When the hotel not only has a record player, but actually has good music options. 🥰

Just got back from the doctor and I'm devastated to announce I was diagnosed with a severe case of needing a hot chocolate. Please respect my privacy in this trying time.

The fun thing about winter is that I can only wash my hair on days I'm not doing anything else because it takes 8 hours to fully dry and I don't wanna get pneumonia by going outside in this weather with wet hair.

People are sure choosing some veeeery interesting footwear to trudge around in the snow in. Y'all don't have snow boots in a place that regularly snows?

One of my most problematic traits is that I struggle SO much to get rid of the linguistic prescriptivism that comes so naturally to me despite knowing how wrong it is. I may not say anything, but I'm alllllways thinking it.

It's probably for the better that my cats can't understand me because 50% of what I say to them is some variation of "you're so cute I''m gonna crush your skull in my hand because I can't take it"

Leviathan, you say?

Nothing gets me like someone complimenting an item of clothing I'm wearing and getting to say "Thanks, I made it!"

I may be from NY, but I was raised by a New Englander so my relationship to blizzards is a little skewed. The way they handle snow is so much stronger than NYers.

80% of my texts from my mom are memes I saw 6 months ago that she just now discovered and thinks I need to see. I usually don't have the heart to tell her I've already seen everything she sends me.

Hire this angel!

Planning a road trip for later this year to some of the most boring places I've ever researched and wondering how tf people live in these places when even getting to page 3 of google has not yielded enough things to fill up 2 full days of activities. Are y'all okay out there?

Waiting for a cake to cool before you frost it is an excruciating test of patience that I struggle with every time.

Your regular announcement that I'm available on Valentine's Day! 📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social

I went to my first ever hockey game recently (a PWHL game, absolutely not an NHL game) and my god is it fun to watch lesbians hit each other. 😊

I will never understand bsky's nudity moderation. One pic of me in lingerie will be marked as sexually explicit and the next of me in a slightly different lingerie set won't be given a label at all. So strange with no rhyme or reason behind it.

Nobody on Earth is as snooty about Mexican food as someone from southern California. I feel like they'd go to Mexico itself and say the food isn't authentic, they're so obnoxious about it lmao.

My roommate is convinced everyone has a favorite sibling, but I disagree. So help me settle the argument- if you have more than one sibling, do you have a favorite?

It finally happened, my Twitter has been suspended. Fuck me I guess!

When a new client sends you a gift from your wishlist before sending the booking email to get himself in your good graces. 🥰