I went to my first ever hockey game recently (a PWHL game, absolutely not an NHL game) and my god is it fun to watch lesbians hit each other. 😊

I will never understand bsky's nudity moderation. One pic of me in lingerie will be marked as sexually explicit and the next of me in a slightly different lingerie set won't be given a label at all. So strange with no rhyme or reason behind it.

Nobody on Earth is as snooty about Mexican food as someone from southern California. I feel like they'd go to Mexico itself and say the food isn't authentic, they're so obnoxious about it lmao.

My roommate is convinced everyone has a favorite sibling, but I disagree. So help me settle the argument- if you have more than one sibling, do you have a favorite?

It finally happened, my Twitter has been suspended. Fuck me I guess!

When a new client sends you a gift from your wishlist before sending the booking email to get himself in your good graces. 🥰

I'm so sick of civs saying they have a SW friend who makes good money so they can make good money just entering the industry now. Your friend has an established client base that takes years to build up! Grow up!

I love when someone tells me they're bad at making decisions because I'm bossy as hell and love telling people what to do. 🥰

I often see women online make jokes about how their husbands aren't cheating on them because they're too busy with some nerdy hobby and... not to be that hooker, but I promise you the nerds are also cheating. It's my whole business model. Nerds love paying other nerds to talk about nerd shit with.

The real fantasy of X-Men isn't the superpowers, it's that everywhere Charles Xavier goes is wheelchair accessible.

Giving everyone a show at my favorite spa 💕

Too many of y'all can't be on your phones and also pay attention while walking, so maybe you should stop trying to do both? The lack of spacial awareness is such an issue.

The best thing about going to the vet is hearing the names of all the other animals.

I have a friend who's a urologist who recently said I'm the only person in the world they're confident drinks enough water, so I have that going for me.

The stats for 2025 are in from my assistant! Here's some notable info: -Only 25% sent accurate screening info in the booking form -67% never replied to my initial response ever again -15% of inquiries resulted in actual bookings -50% of bookings tipped

Every time I make a to do list for the day, there's one item I know from the moment I write it isn't getting done that day lol. That's my wishful thinking task, not a real task for me to do.

My bank constantly sends me fraud alerts when I book flights despite the fact that I do it all the time. When will they register me in their system as someone who travels?

I only have 6 states left to hit all 50 so I'm offering a FMTY special for 2026 to help me reach that goal! If you fly me to Arizona, New Mexico, Kansas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, or Mississippi, you can take 50% off a date of 6 hours or more! You still cover lodging & transit, but what a deal!

Listen, chocolate is made of beans so it should count as my daily serving of vegetables and I won't hear any dissent.

Shoutout to Reddit for having a 12 year old answer to every question I've ever thought to ask.

Why yes, I am going to a NYE powerpoint party where I'm presenting on why some country artists are more punk than 99% of punk bands and doing hours of research so I can properly convey this very important message. Why do you ask?

I know it's wrong to have a favorite child, but one of my cats lets me rub his belly and the other doesn't so how am I supposed to feel?

I'm genuinely so worried for how many SWs don't understand basic security. I see y'all posting your specific flight info, posting the front of your house, all sorts of wild shit that's so actively dangerous to your safety just as a woman, let alone a SW.

I don't understand people who get testy about being corrected. You want to be wrong for the rest of your life? I *want* to be corrected whenever possible so I don't walk around thinking the wrong thing forever??

The type of girl who puts on cyanide perfume, then asks for kisses on the neck from every guy in the room. 📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social

Here's your regular yearly reminder that Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of prostitutes. 😉

Do kids still play the penis game? I feel like I haven't heard teenagers shouting the word penis in years. Have phones have ruined another seminal part of teen culture?

How is it that cat breath always smells like fish and violence, even if their food isn't fish or violence flavored?

Being in your 30s means having to stretch before masturbating so you don't get leg cramps from all the convulsing that happens when you come. 😂

I wish massage therapists would give it a rest with positioning the sheet. I don't care, you don't care, both of us have jobs that make us less weird about the human body. It's fine if my titty slips out, stop spending a full 30 seconds adjusting the sheet every time you switch areas.

Got taken to my favorite spa for my birthday and ate a delicious birthday cake there. 💕

I've never encountered a glove that actually kept my hand warm, just less cold. Why don't we have this technology yet??

The #1 downside to having 2 cats is I had to stop saying "you're the cutest cat in the world" because I'm afraid the other one will hear and get his feelings hurt.

December 17 is recognized worldwide as the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers - a day of remembrance, resistance, and solidarity. It began in 2003 in San Francisco as a memorial for the victims of the Green River Killer.

It's my birthday! I'm 32 today. 😊 You can help me celebrate with anything on my wishlist: marigoldgift.com/arielleivy/w... or even better, send me money on cashapp (if you don't already have my cashtag, fill out my booking form & my assistant will give it to you) 📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social

Happy first day of Hanukkah to those who live the spirit of the story- when oppression is happening, you rise up and fight back, and never let anyone try to change you. Be like the Maccabees, not the Seleucids.

It's wild how many people will PUSH me to get out of an elevator/train car/etc... before me, then walk slow as shit in front of me so I can't get around them. Are they trying to piss me off or what?

I recently got a pregnancy pillow to sleep with and PSA to side/stomach sleepers: get yourself one of these! No more waking up in the middle of the night from your arm being numb or your hip hurting! Only caveat is I still need to navigate my body around 2 cats lol.

There's just no reason for driving in video games to be harder than driving in real life. Some of these games have controls that are so wild it makes it impossible to drive normally. Cars in video games are never fun for me.

Your clothing company isn't size inclusive if the smallest size is huge on small people!! I'm not even that small (I'm 5'7!) and I regularly run into this issue, I can't imagine what actually tiny people have to deal with. Supposed "size inclusivity" doesn't just mean plus size!

I wish restaurants would offer 2 portion sizes- the regular one they're already giving out, and a smaller one for those of us who can't eat an entire horse in a sitting but don't want to schlep leftovers unrefrigerated around to whatever our next location is.

We're officially in range of my birthday- December 16th! If you wanna send me a lil something so it arrives in time, here's the place: marigoldgift.com/arielleivy/w... Cashapps welcome (and preferred)- email my assistant for the cashtag if you don't already have it! 📸: @taryncarterphoto.bsky.social

Way too many of you hookers think saying "I'm not doing anything illegal, money is exchanged for time only" accomplishes anything at all legally. Judges are not stupid, cops don't care & will arrest you anyway, the disclaimer doesn't change anything in practice.

Money. She wants money. Or something from her wish list. Do not add random junk. Something consumable and a candle would be a nice touch to make it festive, but money will make her happy. Nobody does (redacted) hoping for junk. Signed, a (redacted)

I'm forever thankful I don't have a 9-5 because I recently went to a grocery store on a weekend by accident instead of my usual weekday afternoon when everyone else is working and it was a nightmare.

PSA: NDAs do not apply to illegal activity. Aside from the fact that Arielle doesn't exist in any legal entity on paper, FSSWs can't enforce an NDA anyway because they're contracting an illegal service and that's not allowed. Stop asking!

Causing trouble is my business and the business is good.

Sometimes I'm in transit with a bag full of insane pervert shit and the thought strikes me- if someone stole this bag, they'd be so confused about wtf I'm doing with hundreds of needles, gloves, chucks, etc... at 2pm on a Tuesday.

Nothing gets me like a guy with a bandana hanging out of his pocket because it matches his whole outfit but he probably doesn't realize he's flagging piss bottom. 😂

Seeking: someone to watch all the Hellraiser movies with and we have sex every time something in them makes us horny. Freaks only, obviously.