lmao Epstein was banned on Xbox Live

This looks like a guy they’d zoom in on in the Cheers intro

If every employee of X walked out, it would be very funny

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

i once bought a new blazer for a schitts creek panel, and when i walked into the green room, catherine o'hara complimented me on it, and also noted that i had forgotten to cut all the threads off the vents. and then she leaned in and said, "it's because you're going to return it, isn't it"

His only personality is "hates gays"

They really have no fucking idea what is coming. No fucking idea.

"We are creating a list of the most kick ass of you all, nothing but brave smart bad bitches. Better hope you dont end up on it!!"

Scrolling through the photos of Pam Bondi's "Minnesota rioters," it's just hero after hero. Every photo includes a cowardly DHS agent with their back to the camera. Bondi thinks she's going to win the propaganda war with this shit, but it's never been more clear that they're losing.

We can make it go lower!!

The Right is infested with politicians who have zero interest in legislating. They got into the gig for power and access, and have hung on it with their boney, jaundiced claws.

The longer we make the administration respond to this PR nightmare, the less they can get away with elsewhere. Keep up the pressure. It’s harm reduction.

americans hate it when they're shown on tv doing something cool

I got to help explain LOST to my friends, and in doing so, realized I actually do love this incredibly confusing, fascinating, stupid show. Please listen and let me know what I got wrong because who could remember all this junk.

Verizon sent a 2025 Wrapped to my wife and told her that in 2025 she used Web

you’re all making jokes but the reason Greg Bovino was removed from duty is a safety issue we all need to take seriously

reminds me of the old adage: "Don't piss off the writers. We'll describe you."

Break their hearts Break their spirits Break their backs

*fully restores your HP as you scroll past*

BREAKING NEWS: Greg Bovino is floating away in a hot air balloon. Watch live: http​:​//​www​.​cnn​.​com​/​live

Logging on

Cannot think of a worse union to piss off than a nurse's union.

“Okay, I got ‘U.S. AGENTS, FIRING 10 SHOTS, KILL MAN’” “I need one more line” “IN MINNEAPOLIS”? “No, too informative. How about ‘BRINGING CLASHES’”? “Okayyyyy, but that’s like … the 16th paragraph.” “‘BRINGING CLASHES’ it is then!”

is the cure for male loneliness showing up early and setting up chairs?

Our government's atrocities are bringing together Bears fans and Packers fans.

Voting NO on the DHS funding bill is the bare minimum. Backing Kristi Noem’s impeachment is the bare minimum. Holding law-breaking ICE agents legally accountable is the bare minimum. ICE is beyond reform. Abolish it.

Sorry, there's something weird about being excited to have ICE agents kill your neighbors. ICE is going to Philly - and wherever else - to kill people. I do not think fun anecdotes about Eagles fandom and the hitchhiking robot are helpful.

This is the single funniest excuse he could have come up with for not wanting to be booed in public

may we remember the heroes

Dudes if they’ll murder white men they’ll murder anyone do you get it now

My favorite thing about JD Vance is that nobody likes him

may we remember the heroes

well well well look who’s afraid of memes now

no smoke for this person in particular but your city needs to burn down a cop shop before you talk about how you're so much harder than minneapolis

Not my photo, but this makes me happy

just Happen already

I wrote about Minneapolis. nymag.com/intelligence...

"Is this the closest you've been to a beautiful woman" got me really good

Verizon sent a 2025 Wrapped to my wife and told her that in 2025 she used Web

Take the note

in solidarity with MN today, please find your closest walk-in freezer and stand in it naked for a few hours

I’ve been searching for a “hub” to show us how to help Minnesotans, and lo and behold

It's already demoralizing to be a federal thug, a barely sentient ogre. Nobody likes or respects you. But then you go to work in -19 weather thinking surely today you'll get a break from people yelling at you. But no there they are. They're not even cold

Didn't they flashbang a baby like 3 days ago

Casual reminder that a bill must pass *both* the House and the Senate (and get signed by POTUS) to become law. The DHS / ICE appropriations bill passed the House. It still needs to pass the Senate with 60 votes. That vote will be *NEXT WEEK* Call your Senators.🔥📞🔥

Every representative who voted yes voted for more brutalization of our neighbors, more kidnapping of our children, more trampling of our rights, and more murder from this government.

National media should really be covering the fact thay every major school, museum, and arts institution in the Twin Cities, and hundreds of local businesses are closed tomorrow to protest federal occupation. Nothing like this at this scale has happened anywhere in America anytime in living memory.