This is homer simpson level

Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad

Man, I hate disgraced financiers. They’re the worst!

we are returning to the state in which the framers intended for the legislature, in which the lower chamber and the upper chamber absolutely despise one another

so that is happening. huh. good luck.

i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff

bunch of law twitter seems really confused about a trump lawyer lying to a judge and I know they all have dignity but this is like when Jeet Heer was confused that tucker carlson lied on air about protesters breaking his door down when that wasn't in the police report.

Did Hochul ever step away from her idiotic mask ban agenda?

"since clinton" explains more about the present than anyone wants to admit

I don’t care if information implicating Democrats is revealed, but I do care if information implicating Trump and his allies is withheld. It’s impossible not to suspect the latter will be happening, given how strangely and suddenly everything shifted.

In Raleigh...

It's a failing on my part that I can still be surprised by the hypocrisy right?

truth in memes.

I think it was the first NFL game broadcast on netflix a year or two back the announcers said some scripted line like "We're just so happy to give people this new viewing experience" The contempt they have for the fans is outrageous.

"content creator?" no you misheard me, i said im a content creator. can i get you a blanket and some tea?

ohhh that reminds me Gunsmoke is on.

Dems fucked up on this. www.axios.com/2025/11/18/s...

Surprising no one he's still a scumbag.

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

Enormous mistake as @zohrankmamdani.bsky.social reappoints Jessica Tisch NYPD commissioner. He calls her a pursuer of police corruption but she promoted John Chell. Calls her an opponent of authoritarianism but she collaborated with ICE. The case against Tisch:

Quick question: what the fuck is anyone talking about anymore

Good hell

Good job FCC

maybe they're trying to get a feel for whether or not they can make italians nonwhite again idk

what right wingers mean when they say immigrant

Two years and two days ago, a woman delivered some chili to her new neighbors. Everyone was very happy and normal and there were no lasting effects.

Maya in 1933: "I met the publisher responsible for Der Stürmer and its publication of Jewish crimes. They told me how they they didn't want Jewish crimes recorded as German crime so they set up the publication to ensure accuracy to the Volksgemeinschaft."

New Rule: if I’m at Applebees I want to hear about chicken strips, not get a lecture about the GAZA strip Waitress at Applebees: are…are you that doll from the Saw movies?

if you're having the worst year of your life this is just a reminder that you're not special and everything can and will get worse-- hope this helps!

Looks like the lady in line ahead of me at Albertsons is having a day:

oh for fu...

mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one

This was the act that killed that guy from Hogan’s Heroes

I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.

The reality of cat ownership

Wait the mascot actually gives out the fancy food prizes, this is amazing

These unredacted records will not become public unless they're leaked. 0% chance of full Epstein files coming out thru traditional process. They'll claim on-going & active investigation, which is why Trump had them reopen it. National security exemption b/c Epstein was an Israeli intelligence asset

ohhh cool

So...Raskin is worthless.

Given the recent Wapo opeds I've read I'm genuinely surprised they haven't said the MBS did the right thing by having Khashoggi killed.

it is almost as if accommodating and conceding to far right ideas legitimizes them and signals to voters that the far right is a legitimate choice for governance

do you think God hates us

Let’s see if the “personal liberties and free markets” editorial board of the Washington Post will actually take Trump to task over his comments excusing the murder of one its own columnists. Given that they’ve purged me and all their opinion writers who actually care about human rights.

Onside kicks have a less than 5% chance of being recovered. This seems like a decent idea.

They keep putting the Raiders on TV at nighttime and the so-called government does nothing about it.

i'm going back in time and making fun of print-makers for using f instead of s. they're so mad they burn an effigy of me. i retaliate by inventing the jerk off motion two centuries before people are ready for it, forever altering the timeline

The Department of Unsubtle Metaphors continues to exceed expectations