No such thing as a happy transphobe

Everyone welcome the new DM!

I'll never forget the day I decided to be trans.

Nailed it again, Time Magazine!

Has this always been an option????

Priorities

Priorities

New comic strip found: Alley Oop - 2025-12-09 https://www.gocomics.com/alley-oop/2025/12/09 #comicstrip #alleyoop

Whenever someone says they use AI a lot at work, assume they're talking about Artificial Insemination

Help!

In Footloose 2 all the feet fell off

Short king? He's a short Marquess at best.

Admit it. It does.

One last job

One last job

A very effective way to stop doom scrolling is to just read the same post over and over again. This one, for instance.

To be fair,*some* people have seen these images. Perhaps we should imprison all of them.

Behind the scenes of my 40 year (so far) attempt at creating other "cool" letters. I devote 50+ hours a week to this task and still have made no progress since grade school. Hoping for a breakthrough soon.

Extraction

I made this for you about your town.

The New York Times is never going to recapture the magic of Wordle.

Billionaire Awards

If current trends continue...

I hope this answers some of your questions!

Sorry. When I said you smelled like B.O. I meant Bob Odenkirk

The reality of cat ownership

DO NOT EAT GUM part 1

Time to enter the 21st century!

The most powerful tool on the internet

It would have been more believable if instead of becoming more attractive the ugly duckling just became kind of funny when they grew up.

Auditioning to be my 10-year-old's joke writer. Sent him to school today with this one: "Aw, man, the number before eight was up all night coughing and sneezing."

The New Republicans featuring JD touring the old hits across Midwest county fairs

When the front person of a popular band dies, the remaining members often try to replace them with someone else or go on without them. But the band usually breaks up or fades into obscurity, maybe playing old hits to a small crowd if they're lucky. Anyway, just thinking about politics this morning.

If you've ever wanted to own an Alley Oop book, but were waiting for one written by me, now's your chance! www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/...

The supreme court rules that "the government is merely attesting to a historical fact." Incidentally, passports will now record your weight, height, hair color, and age at birth.

Teamwork makes the cream fork

phonie

Perfume: Put a Different Stink on Your Stink!

It's true! (not sure why they gave it to me at the polling place though.)

Sorry, but my hands were tied!

It works pretty well!

🎃Happy Smelloween!🦶

My Halloween costume this year is this very post. I'm inside your phone, looking out through the eye holes, watching you do things! 👁️ 👁️