Tater tots are what happens when potatoes choose joy instead of responsibility

The devil has many talents, and his eggs are enchanted

For the next few days, every morning someone in America is waking up with ten fingers for the last time and doesn't know it.

Partner and I are having a great time this morning imagining plot lines for The Sopranos if it was set in 2026: *After getting fired from therapy Tony uses an AI therapist that convinces him it’s ok to whack someone *AJ gets into a polycule and becomes an influencer *Meadow is abusing ozempic

The White House is openly saying they want to eliminate a minority group and people still want to say this is about sports.

lol. Lmao.

the egg price thing under biden was all fake lol

*nodding solemnly with full comprehension* yes, I see. there’s a special kind of kid who can’t play sports or go to the bathroom

Guaranteed: 1) Black girls will be harassed and demanded to be tested over and over again regardless of how competitive they are. 2) Winners from public schools will be relentlessly hounded by the parents and coaches of losers at private schools, with the goal of making them quit the sport.

Is it just me or are new cars all weird colors? What is that flat blue

I grew up as a teen w/o the internet and I did learn about being gay and progressive politics HOWEVER, we have mostly dismantled the places I learned (broadcast TV & college radio, 3rd spaces for teens, progressive book stores, physical media that can be shared like zines, books, bulletin boards)

went to the crab orgy and only two or three of the crabs there had ever heard of u

Older lady peeped the rainbow flag on my bike, asked in a thick Russian accent “It’s your Pride?” She told me her youngest grandchild is “not she berry or he berry but no berry.” I said “Nonbinary?” She got so excited. Yes! Yes! And “Is a secret, but they are my“ *looks around, whispers* “favorite.”

Not everyone is going to like you. The important thing is to not like yourself

Don’t forget my personal favorites: * loved ones will someday be dead * big earthquake soon? * work thoughts but in the dark

Can’t sleep? Simple methods that work: • study hurricane forecast • who hates me • what did i forget • relive supreme humiliation • win 12-yr-old argument • buried alive? could happen • what i did vs should have done • dead people i miss • what if i’m bad • why do i say stuff • what’s my fuckin deal

When you see the story about how the world now has its first trillionaire, and when you see the story about how laboratories in Congo have run out of supplies to test for Ebola, it is important to understand that in many ways these are the same story.

I dated that guy

This is the best question I’ve ever heard

happy pride 💕

The problem with ships in bottles as a mass hobby is that people don't really know how they get into it. I'll see myself out.

Happy pride month. We are mysterious and unknowable

It’s remarkable how this administration has done every single thing conservatives pretended liberals were doing when Biden was in charge.

Have they considered getting themselves a government that simply doesn't report on these things?

look. is everything more expensive now? yes. but you have to look on the bright side too. now every time you open a computer, it doesn't work

wake up babe the white house is a six flags

42 for me but to be fair I was an English major and I have an MFA so a lot of these were for school

happy saturday to everyone but especially to genderless friends everywhere

Last week I saw a woman at Planet Fitness watercolor painting while she used the stationary bike. I hope PF never stops PF-ing.

There’s no better sign that it’s going to be a beautiful weekend in Maine

The real value of social media is being able to post something like "The ass is the father of the legs" and potentially have multiple members of congress see it

Breaking: the government

when I was younger, I ate grocery store frozen burritos that I nuked in the microwave. I'm grown man now with grown man sensibilities, and now I eat grocery store frozen burritos that I cook in the oven.

Warning! You might see posts in the wild claiming "Hogwarts Legacy is free right now!" but this is malware, if you try and run it, it'll install Hogwarts Legacy on your PC.

For context, many people are doing ok in life and then something happens and they need government benefits. What should they do, lose their transportation?? It’s insane to think that owning a car (even a nice car) should be a barrier to benefits

This is correct. I work a specialized customer service line and by the time folks get to me (a human being on the phone) they are incandescent with rage about the thousand small indignities of life in 2026. I usually have to let them vent for 20-30 mins before the call can be productive. It’s a lot

You speak of him

Lovely

Correct.

was once New Amsterdam.

To all who celebrate

How it is I know not; but there is no place like a bed for confidential disclosures between friends.

2.5 million Americans lost food aid in months after passage of GOP megabill, study finds @fischler.bsky.social kentuckylantern.com/2026/04/08/r...

if you're not currently in congress or on the Supreme Court, i think it's actually good for you to ignore current events sometimes

I wonder what it must be like to be a musician. Like, your brain makes music?? All my brain makes is jokes and depression

Come on then, and remove him.

I got top surgery today and I’m gonna be so mad if I don’t get to enjoy flat chest life because there’s a nuclear apocalypse

Anti-trans hatred is the very lifeblood of 21st century fascism and we need everyone to wake up to this simple truth before it's too late.