My canto es su canto

I mean, the Penn student newspaper isn't wrong, but www.instagram.com/p/DSH1X4EDwP...

Bought a smart pet feeder for the cats and now understand the power rush B. F. Skinner lived with all the time

Sorry to ruin your day.

We are all drunk Mon Mothma dissociating to Niamos!

Just realized that TIME magazine is probably going to do something dumb and name AI as the Person of the Year, isn't it?

The problem with Nuzzi is that she used too much academic jargon and didn't put the theory chapter in the endnotes

More like American Floppo amirite

The prophet.

The dog ate my healthcare plan

Henceforth, all white house documents will be written in Papyrus

Every legal story now is either Ancient Circuit Judge Delivers Crystal Clear 100 Page Rebuke To Trumpist Overreach or In Unsigned Shadow Docket Decision, 6-3 Majority Declares Trump Can Hunt People For Sport

oh people are MAD mad, got it

"there's a new serif in town"

Positively thermostatic

MAGA is bringing back traditional masculinity by obsessing over fonts, gold trim and ballrooms.

Tubi is such a crazy streaming service. It’s like if the Criterion Closet was in a gas station

Good morning. Danny Glover was only 41 when he declared he was too old for this shit.

I can’t emphasize enough how much you need to watch this until the end

I see this sort of proud posturing a lot and it's really a wonderful way to loudly demonstrate to everyone you have absolutely no idea what's going on

You can mock people for thinking the leopards would dine elsewhere but it is unequivocally good that the demo that reeeeeally helped put trump back in the wh is seeing what is happening and apparently reacting accordingly

google maps (punching me in the stomach): fastest route is uber me: but i want to take the subway google maps (throwing me across the room): 2 buses and a transfer would save 4 minutes me: i like subway google maps (kicking me in the head): biking is 45 seconds faster me: underground choo-choo

"kindest regards" alright alright calm down

if you give a mouse a cookie

Just met Pedro Pascal. He's shooting a movie a block away from our house. They shoot movies here often so we see a lot of famous people but I never get star struck like I did today. He's like 10 times as good looking in person as he is in the movies and he took a picture with us. He smells amazing.

jared kushner is the forrest gump of all the worst events in recent history

Supreme Court oral argument this morning, in sum Sotomayor: you're asking us to destroy the foundation of government (derogatory) Gorsuch: you're asking us to destroy the foundation of government (complimentary)

Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things

every day a new palantir billionaire slithers out from a damp hole and does a tech conference panel where he casually suggests we round up the "genetically infirm" and toss them in an active volcano, before his head lurches back and chest rips open as he molts his exoskeleton to thunderous applause

What makes me angriest about the fake AI videos where people yell at ICE is that there’s a million actual videos, there’s actual priests being pelted with pepper balls, it’s just that the real priest didn’t say “we worship the real God not your ORANGE one” so he wasn’t quippy enough

Business magnates have always been amoral sons of bitches but back in the day they would actually work and not be 57 year olds posting memes of Stevie Griffin

extremely normal peace trophy

This paper could have been an email

lol Kash Patel is using the FBI to serve as an Uber for his girlfriend's drunk pals. www.ms.now/news/kash-pa...

this is genuinely my greatest fear about writing historical fiction. I'll spend a bunch of time researching, do my best, and some fucking chicken expert will be like "chickens are wrong"

No one has scammed and beclowned the human race like cats. "Aww she's sitting on me" she's sapping your energy. "Aww she's purring" she's communicating with the devil, her father in hell

Every undergrad on this campus is a sneezing mess

Younger people who didn't witness it cannot fathom the hype around the Segway. Every news station agreed it would revolutionize the entire social fabric of the Earth. That all future humans would divide history between the savage days of the past, and the soon to be new era of zoom zoom scoot scoot.

If you are on Bluesky your Spotify age is 38

my spotify listening age jumped 20 years when i started letting your mom pick our fuck music

subscribe to the handbasket, a one-person operation that produced both of these stories in one day. www.thehandbasket.co/subscribe

Didn't need spotify telling me I'm an ancient boring piece of shit today

(writing grimdark fantasy) Goreface sat wetly on the docks, thinking about blood. His face was covered is some kind of shit and so was the rest of him. His dick looked like a door knocker. There were some orcs and dragons on the docks too. They also had shit on them.

I know more about music than sports but no one wants to pay to read music writing lol oh well

I can't get over the fact that they scheduled a televised Cabinet meeting, hyped it as a major event, planned it all out to show how active and in control Trump is ... and then he dozed off in the middle of it. Repeatedly.

The fog of a three martini breakfast

Caution wap paint

Sec of State Rubio: “Mr President, you are the only person that can stop this war.” Mr President: “Zzzzzzzz Zzzzzzz”