another quiet night in gotham. they fixed the bank. theres no way its going to happen again

guy who takes daddy kink too far and never shows up

Me when I get home from the grocery store

good afternoon to the sluts and the freaks and no one else

if you see this post your getaway vehicle

babe why are you so obsessed with the green ribbon tied around my neck just let it go

I’ve done an inexplicable thing.

They should just make Batman the new James Bond

"Teso dos Bichos" (1996.03.08) S03|E18|3X18 Director: Kim Manners Writer: John Shiban Director of Photography: John S. Bartley Art Director: Graeme Murray #XFiles #TheXFiles

We’re just normal men

backshots here

This brought me joy.

Solid oak toilet

am i nuts or does this look like that meme frog

Cry havoc and let Fripp the dogs of war

so many ancient temples are basically 'ok what if we made a didgeridoo you could stand in and activate by humming'

I'm the LeBron James of making coffee in my woke little French press

lol yeah there's chunks of my 20s i also don't remember because of all the narcotics i was destroying

weather duck QUACKS at New Mexico

No technology has materially improved my life in the last 5 years except for most stuff being USB-C now.

Turok: Bargain Hunter

Various Types of Women

it's the freakin bleakend

if i had a nickel for every time a group calling themselves some shit like "the Sea Peoples" came ashore in My Lands and irrevocably changed the trajectory of my society i'd only have ten cents but it's weird that it happened twice

But they were all of them deceived, for another leche was made...

You know how people alway talk about how The Simpsons predict everything? Yall sleeping on The X-Files. This is from 1999

the girlies are fightiiing

"everyone writes like they're AI now" uh no the fuck they don't? i mean no the fuck we don't? or. man i dunno but if AI writes like me it's dumb as fuck

being aware is maladaptive

i want to say this soundtrack is good but it's more like this album confirmed all my prior biases and suspicions by being better than i possibly could've hoped, introduced me to shit i wasn't ready for and set me inexorably on the path towards now

if you haven't yet you should watch the Strike Force Five interview to see how naturally funny deep cut king Colbert can be with Meyers and Oliver, who are also great off the cuff. Kimmel isn't great at his job but he's a yellow lab &he's got charm despite himself. fallon is entirely outclassed lmao

turning a big dial taht says "SCHISM" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right

(Having a scone for the first time in a while) scones are back in a big way

‘Figure of a Standing Warrior.’ Mayan #sculpture, Yucatán Península (A.D. 650–800) #art #Mexico

getting carbombed after a palantir thinktank pays me $125 to pretend to be a Gay Looking Ethical Non Monogamist who is glad alcatraz closed

ill go to the world cup if i get to be the ball and the players are strong, gorgeous women. my terms are nonnegotiable

the guy who invented yogurt was prob swimming in pussy

the picture of these soldiers in a purely visual aesthetic sense is how i visualize the vocal edits in hyperpop

Internet beef is a psyop. Every internet beef you participate in delays the revolution by a year

if you've never taken an edible and then gotten tattooed i. recommend it?

rebel wilson looks like that weird floating head laura dern jumpscare from inland empire. i can literally hear black tamborine playing

ok now i'm gonna stay away for a few days hopefully! punch your balls off!

telling the budtender his glitterbomb thc-a is dog shit

we should implode society somewhat

This predates the Bluesky terms of service, so I'm in the clear.

follow me for more self sabotage tips & tricks ✨

is it emotional cheating to take a benzo before a difficult discussion