bring it in bud

the next time my dad says I should use AI for something I'll remind him he gave away my N64 and most of my games when I was 12 because he decided I was too old for that and it would melt my brain

I kinda want to make hardtack

The tv screens at the gas station aren’t playing ads they’re totally silent this is beautiful

Jared Verse blocks the Falcons FG attempt and returns it for a TD, flashes the peace sign at the Falcons bench on the way by

Troy Aikman once again sounds drunk as hell

could: Brad Dourif couldn’t: Kyle McLachlan

Ooah

I was on a first name basis with Skip Humphrey when I worked at the golf course. He would come in right when we opened and play nine holes by himself and he was super friendly

I don’t really get this new daycare conspiracy thing but if any of those freaks show up at my son’s daycare I will literally tear their face off

Gentle Giant should have been the band in the Star Wars bar

Currently playing a game of league against someone named “EGrlPilledFemcel” she’s definitely on bluesky

My son’s two favorite songs are Elephant Talk and Nanook Rubs It he’s going to be the lamest preschooler of all time

rip cyrano de bergerac, you would have loved sexting

love taking a nap to hopefully feel less sick but feel much worse after waking up

Goofy is a true gentleman’s fool, Donald Duck is a despicable clown

The Explorer is one of the coolest guitars but James Hetfield is the only person that looks cool playing one

woke up with one of them coughs that makes my throat hurt every single time

Completely forgot the Packers played last night and I’m better off for it

Le epic garum

This is Larks’ Tongues in Aspic Part 1

I should move to China

I didn’t realize that my wife is birthday buddies with Lars Ulrich

Haynes King will be an all time great Remembering Guys Guy

“mocktail” stop being a coward and just say you’re drinking juice

lol. lmao

Apparently the Trylon is screening Deep Blue Sea in 35mm next year this rules so much

He was trying then one of the players grabbed him and he ended up getting clubbed with the cooler before getting the remainder dumped on him

nova post choom

Guy who checks out Defending Israel By Alan Dershowitz from the library in late December 2025

i don't think it's great for jd vance to insult denmark or whatever but i also just am not susceptible to arguments like "come say that to the faces of the parents of danish boys and girls who gave their lives defending freedom in afghanistan"

They call me the St. Waidwen of jacking off

The commercialization of sports is generally pretty awful but I do love the stupid bowl game gimmicks

I’ve spent a good portion of my day thinking about how to make football sound gayer so I can trick people into watching me

Tomorrow it’s going to snow a lot and be extremely windy and extremely cold this is great!

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) - 1:14:09 Dir. Rob Reiner Runtime 82 minutes 🚬 x 22, or one cigarette every 3.73 minutes ⚠️ REAL SMOKER MOVIE ⚠️ https://howmanycigarettes.com/this-is-spinal-tap/

wall of sound more like wall of shit

never seen a better create-a-pro wrestler

This is every picture of Shel Silverstein

I’m very glad the Packers are in the playoffs but I don’t think my spirit can handle a third Bears/Packers game this year

The gay hockey show is making my non-sports inclined friends want to watch hockey. We need more gay sports shows.

Jamiroquai-gon Jinn

Bragging to every patron that I won $150 until I get mugged in the book drop

The Wreck of the F. Scott Fitzgerald (it's just a crate of bootleg scotch)

Miss Information is a beautiful name for a girl

I started and immediately lost $60, made one joke about this being reparations, then won all of it back and then some

I won $150 lol

The main appeal of the casino is being somewhere you can smoke inside