ok but like what if the rapture actually does happen?

poster’s psychosis is really in the air today

me every time I put a book on the bottom shelf

Imagine cooking on this level

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that my son is going to be the kid that’s always sticky for some reason

I am going to become the joker

maybe it’s happening??

battlefield paintings: bad battlefield dioramas: good battlefield dioramas that depict all participants at Gettysburg as cats: great

I got the tradle in 3 and my wife was unimpressed

Get that man some milk!

Syracuse pooch punt

Sorry boss I can’t come in to work I’ve caught consumption. Consuming some cold beers with the fellas!

One of my coworkers has developed a mystery respiratory illness and we’ve decided she has tuberculosis

It’s extremely unlikely but would be very funny if McLaren fucked up so bad that Verstappen wins the title

What does the settler know of "violence", except how to impose it on others?

Steely Dan especially considering there are sickos that think their reunion albums are the best

nobody has ever looked cooler than Jordan Rudess in Live Scenes From New York

I talked about the Years of Lead with my therapist today lol

I dropped my car off for some work yesterday and they gave me a Rogue and it is astonishingly shitty

want to come over and watch Tim and Eric Nite Live?

that’s right

Maybe I should run for FIA president

Steven Seagal after an hour of quiet meditation in his game room: I should say punani in my next song

THROUGH THE DARKNESS OF FUTURE PAST THE MAGICIAN LONGS TO SEE ONE CHANCE OUT BETWEEN TWO WORLDS

Steve Vai Ray Vaughan

wait a damn minute

I think this features two of his best visual gags ever

I would go so far to say that if the contradictions heightening like this don't make you at least a little bit excited, you're not a real Marxist

The boy fell over and got a nosebleed and decided that was the perfect time to start running around the house

now they’ve gone too far!

sleep token makes contemporary christian worship music for atheists

Sade on a dungeon crawl, encountering a gelatinous cube: IS IT A SLIME

Really not a joke, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a discarded Gaucho track

I made a new friend this morning (he’s right there in the middle trust me)

fav type of guy hands down gotta be “calls our current government fascist but scolds you for treating it like it is”

My guy is just getting ready to enjoy his Schlaaang Super Seat

I’M YOUR VENUSSSSS-AH I’M YOUR FIYAH YOUR DESIRRRRRRRE-AH

on one hand this feels like a false flag. On the other, Elon would absolutely brand his cocaine

I’m starting to believe that a tiny bit of gender is determined at birth because the boy stands while watching TV and is as locked in as any 50 year old dad

Me: what’s the most effective and simple move in a fight BONG JOON HO, LOUDLY: gotta be the two foot drop kick out of nowhere

She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes and she knew without askin' I was into her boobs

Oh wow I also share a birthday with Jay Bauman what a treat!

Not even noted crank Dave Mustaine eulogized Charlie Kirk

Still thinking about them bangs. #bangs

Happy birthday to me and Dave Mustaine