Sometimes I hate myself so much for getting her because I’ve doomed myself to the worst possible heartbreak someday

🎶I'm a bitch I'm a lover Fuckin bigfoots? Hell yeah brother🎶

I'm always thinking about sex god and beautiful cinnamon roll we were robbed of far too soon, Dr. Carl Sagan

“You shouldn’t take Tylenol.” - a heroin user

Research: low productivity gains from AI may stem from employees using AI to produce "workslop", or low-effort, passable work that creates more work for others (Harvard Business Review) Main Link | Techmeme Permalink

I can feel my brain trying to die

What not getting raptured told me about search engine optimization:

Soup of the day: Hot Pockets™ Pepperoni Pizza

okay make sure you’re auditing your automatic block lists cause it turns out I’ve accidentally blocked at least one mutual because I was too loosely goosey with mine D:

one of the funniest videos i’ve seen online in a long time

when my bestie is about to declare the new monthly theme for the discord server

I just really really really want a reporter to ask him if acetaminophen is an okay alternative to Tylenol

YEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

Being nice to trans people really did turn out to be a load bearing part of liberal democracy ey

dems could win in red states if they ran unapologetically on raising taxes on people like george soros and colin kaepernick and bill gates to pay for universal healthcare and a 4 day work week

genuinely believe that a large number of political, economic and media elites do not realize that nearly half the voting public did not vote for trump

Wallaby petted ✅

manifesting petting an animal today

HARDEST PHOTO OF 2025 JUST DROPPED

I'm getting tired of making these.

imagine getting to be incredibly gifted and talented at doing something but that something is Posting

“Et nous vous présentons AMARI — le CHAT ASSOIFFÉ”

I love hearing the water stop flowing on Amari’s fountain cause it means she’s drinkin. Lil hydration queen

oh

One always tells the truth, the other always lies.

america is failing because too many young men are consuming seed oils instead of the seed of their comrades

thinkin’ about that time disney gave a chicken fat tits

teaching coworkers my philosophy about clankers

Do not pursue Labubu

men should always be extra thankful when a woman gives them a compliment. she risked her life for that.

Look at me. soft legs are the best body part.

Wish me luck tomorrow, it’s Tuesday

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

every day I regret not being born a hot bimbo and marrying rich

Guys will see this and say hell yeah

I have been fixed

they’re doing this to me tomorrow

Right wing pundits: calls for violence and civil war Right wingers: *does violence* Right wing pundits: no not like that

Lowering the flags on 9/11 at the Guantanamo Bay McDonald's for Charlie Kirk is the most dril tweet thing that's ever happened

The two most beautiful syllables in the English language

I quote this weekly

More cities should be named like ironic places you wouldn't stop at in a horror movie. Like Pleasantville or Not Axe Murder Town

people forget that on this solemn day Ted Cruz liked step-mom cuck porn on his twitter account

yes Meta is trash but how else will I know that my favorite TBI rescue cat found her feeder (which doesn’t move) that day???

This is what 450 million years of experiencing life on Earth looks like.