Duck you Auto Forect Ewe Muddafunster 😡😡

I have to admire the commitment to both food waste limitation, and plucky Heston-style flavour combinations. Whether the Heston reference is to the Michelin star rated chef or the motorway service station can only be clarified after the event.

#WhatAreTheProsAndConsOf is the Monday edition of the #FeelGoodDailies #HashtagGame ! Follow your host and PLAY NOW with @feelgoodonbluesky.bsky.social and @feelgooddailies.bsky.social !

#WhatAreTheProsAndConsOf Bluesky.. Pros: Lots of wonderful funny folks. Cons: The Discover tab.(Block central)

#WhatAreTheProsAndConsOf sex workers..you aint a pro and this is a con, I want my money back

Just spent all morning digging in the garden, I just can't get a hold of this aura farming lark..

"Wow man, congratulations, you're on fire at the moment!" "Cheers buddy, i'm not sure how I keep doing it" ~ Spontaneous Combustion World Champion

#ASongOrMovieForAllInstruments Any song by Alfie O'boe

Just in case anyone was wondering…

One of Michael Jackson's favourite meals was a slow cooked goat stew. Billy Tagine. No...You shut up.

Public service announcement.

#ASongOrMovieForAllInstruments Our Monica - The Kinks

Share a great female villain

It's 4 pm ET/9 pm UK It's Time For @FGWeekends With Your Host @tweetfeelsgood ON X AND @feelgoodonbluesky.bsky.social ON BLUESKY! Today @FGWeekends Wonder About Being Innocent To Brighten Up Your Sunday! Be Part Of The Feel Good Weeklies And Join Me NOW AND PLAY: #IMightSeemInnocent

#IMightSeemInnocent to you but you should've gone to Specsavers

Motherfu...........

I demand an EXIT BUFFOON!!!!! Pst..pass it on.

im gonna escalate your case *places the case on a nearby escalator and waves it bye*

will do! (never does)

Me: Are you ok? Accidentally send me a nude if you are not ok Them: … Me: … Me: or blink twice or whatever. I was just giving you options.

If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs, then bribing the executioner worked. #humour #humoursky

If it wasn't for badinage, I wouldn't have no inage at all.

Pst..pass it on

I demand an EDIT BUTTON!!!!!

Peekaboo, but it's just me deleting a skeet immediately after I post it

When you get underwear for Christmas, how many days do you have to wear it for without looking ungrateful?

So Sandra your secret Santa is Thomas, I've got Henry and Muriel has Cuthbert, but what about Jemima?what about her? she's got her gift in her arms, whatever it is? The limit is a fiver. #GirlsOwnCC

My 2026 un-resolution list: -Won't stop ordering unhealthy food -Won't meditate -Won't go to the gym regularly -Won't save money -Won't be a better person -Won't finish my

#ISmelledARatWhen my house was renamed the Lighthouse, someone keeps ringing up asking if the coast is clear..

#SweetDelicaciesInASongOrMovie 🎶You'd think that people would have had enough of syllabub songs

#ISmelledARatWhen incontinence..No not incontinence, on the consonant..in Europe for f**ksake!

As it seems to work so well for instagram accounts, behold, the greatest collection of prints in the history of art. marswasrubbish.etsy.com

“your honor, my defense is simple. he asked ‘so what are you in the mood for for lunch?’ and i stabbed him in the jugular with a spork”

#SweetDelicaciesInASongOrMovie Broke-Sherbert Fountain

#SweetDelicaciesInASongOrMovie A total eclipse of Pop tart

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my lang syne is feeling very auld this morning

#OtherThingsToDownload the internet. ALL of it. ⏳

I need a zero consequence day. Just one.

Notifications are digital mosquitos; they don’t feed you anything, they just hover near your attention, whine at 2 a.m., and leave you itching with the vague sense that you’ve forgotten something important.

not to brag but my kisses just healed a boo-boo

You think when Mork was fingering Mindy he sometimes had a little slurp while he was at it? Sir, this is an investment bank but... Absolutely

At some point, every single runaway train was described by a management committee as "efficient"

Whitehouse release updated plan for the Ballroom.. *Architect: Albert Speer.

It's 9 am ET/2 pm UK It's Time For @FeelGoodFreaks With Your Host @tweetfeelsgood ON X AND @feelgoodonbluesky.bsky.social ON BLUESKY! So Be Part Of The Feel Good Weeklies And Join Me NOW AND PLAY: #TheLongAndShortOfItIs

#TheLongAndShortOfItIs No Lee, it says IT..

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