tell me five random things that you love (that aren’t people or pets) 1: smart arses 2: incomplete lists

Dice Dice Baby #OnionsinaSongorMovie

Chive Just Seen A Face #OnionsinaSongorMovie

Eight Days A Leek #OnionsinaSongorMovie

Anything starring Sylvester Stallone: The Italian Scallion #OnionsInASongOrMovie

Headline courtesy of “The Pun”:

Campaign to get “ Î “ the standard for an emphasized uppercase i.

🎶Girl I’ll hose you Girl I’ll hose you Girl I’ll hose you Hose Music all night long 🎶 #ASongOrMovieForWaysToCoolOff

Back To The Old Hose #ASongOrMovieForWaysToCoolOff

Sheila Take A Swim #ASongOrMovieForWaysToCoolOff

When I die, I want a pineapple rightside-up cake at my funeral. Belligerent arsehole even in death 🤘🏼🤘🏼

Advertise your Bluesky account with a Simpsons image.

They should ban this app crashing while you’re looking for a gif

The irony of some English football fans complaining that they all get tarred with the same brush because of a small minority of wrong’uns and then those same people wanting to get rid of all the immigrants cause they’re all rapists.

Motherfucker genuinely has the brain of a 15 year old boy.

Happy #Caturday These two rarely lie on the same bed together.

Still Li’l #ASongOrMovieForAdjectives

Anything by The Tall #ASongOrMovieForAdjectives

One After 501 #TrousersInASongOrMovie

Just because I find you an unfunny, ignorant cunt, doesn’t mean I’m offended.

Levi’s Stubbs Tears #TrousersInASongOrMovie (Fuck sakes you can’t even find a Billy Bragg .gif on this stupid new search engine 🙄)

I love how they throw the word “woke“ at us like we’re going to be insulted by it. Oh yeah… I’m tolerant towards people who are different than me and want to live in a world where everybody’s free to be whoever they want to be- I’m a real piece of fucking shit. 😂😂

Remember when “Covfefe” was about the stupidest thing you thought he’d ever say or do? 😮‍💨

It’s A Sin Bin #ASongOrMovieForAllAboutBoxes

Stuff your Tartan Army- we’ve got our Turban Army 😎 #WorldCup

Sheila Tape A Bow #ASongOrMovieForAllAboutBoxes

Don’t Flatpack In Anger #ASongOrMovieForAllAboutBoxes

Pretty Girls Pack Crates #ASongOrMovieForAllAboutBoxes

There are 2 types of people when you send a photo: One will comment on the subject of the photo. The other will zoom in on everything in the background to find something to take the piss out of you with.

Canada smashes Guitar. #WorldCup

Qatar fans giving the Tartan Army a run for their money with their Sheik Chic.

I think we all mixed up a couple of his slogans: Make Swamps Great Again. Drain America.

You don’t need to point it out if I leave off the “Sir” in someone’s name. I don’t recognise knights of the realm.

Name a TV show you're positive no one remembers but you.

How’s that swamp draining going, Donald?

A journey of a thousand miles begins with making sure your phone’s charged, you’ve typed the address into Waze- oh and snacks. #ModernSayings

The Food On The Hill #ASongOrMovieForFoodProduction

“Women shouldn’t be pundits they belong in the kitchen” Oh wait…

Margaritas??? WTF

Colonel Sanders enjoyed that.

Keep in mind- England players had to all get new boots from a Walmart yesterday.

Always loved VAR 🤪

Let’s fuckin’ gooooo!

Life is a highway, you say? More like a dirt road.

“Hey Mary can you help us settle an argument?” “No but I’ll happily help you prolong it. “

It’s too bad the word “I” is uppercase. There’s no way to emphasize it when you need to.

Why don’t people who stink know they stink? Fuckin’ ‘ell - do I stink?!?

Bin Bag Mountain #ASongOrMovieForRubbish

Binman Strikes Again #ASongOrMovieForRubbish