Everything computer?

Elton John's (plural: Eltons John) song Bennies and The Jets is about a horrible parlay bet the Hat Man talked him into making.

If they're able to successfully cure your antisocial personality disorder do they seize your jeep cherokee immediately or can you make arrangements to surrender it, or how does that work?

"Not now. I'm givin' the devil his 'do." - satan's barber

When that cattle train crashed and burned outside of austin, mr. Rogers said, "Look for the hamburger helpers."

"My name is Lesion"

It's a 3 lb hen that's genetically modified to taste like beef. For when you want a couple a three burgers and don't want to spend all day butchering. I call it a cattle poult.

A Player that thinks Baby Come Back is by Haulin' Oats.

Another past member joins the magnificent sanctuary band, fare thee well, donna jean, and thank you for a real good time youtu.be/c2n54Cxcpwg?...

Handburger help us! They let a alpaca at a taco bell do surgery on a grape.

springy dustfield

Food porne illness

New column: Democratic Party Leaders – Mostly Wimps, Wallowers and Wallflowers

Muddier Honey

Doody-free restaurant

Sorry, unconditional love is for winners.

100 4 6 50 war? Thats a lotta wars!- roman reading about the civil war

A leaked Wall Street memo confirms that privatizing the Post Office would mean higher prices, mass layoffs, and worse service — especially for rural America.

Felon47😡

How big a deal Could it be? When it didnt Happen to me?

Bring me a hired love🎵

For the Love of God, You People Need to Let Me Post About Other Stuff

St pats leftovers

Thin Lizzy is short for Underweight Elizabeth. Their hit, The Male Youngsters Have Returned to the Municipality, had to be shortened too

Prisoner escape reported in cell block B needed tweaking too

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town" Probably the jail. That'd be my guess.

Rare as hens' teeth, no, rarer than that. Rarer than a So Many Roads where jerry got the words right.

𝘐 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘯𝘦 is my favorite song about a field sobriety test.

This feels like one of those things that happens quietly and screws people forever fortune.com/2025/03/04/c...

DEI hire Larry Bird

Gonna create a wilhelm scream organ by starting a mine country ultra marathon and miking all the shafts and vents.

Absolutely killing it playing Dragula on a recorder in the crowded metro car

My kingdom for a horse with human feet and two pair of Timbs

You could almost say "Work sets you free."

The serious honest to god answer: the public becomes addicted to their swag.

Being a silver miner in the 1800s doesn't seem like "the worst job in the world" after you mentioned the brothel without running water for the drunk miners that were shooting each other to death in every night.

I once fell down the up escalator at the metro at the mall in dc. It took 4 weeks to get to the bottom.

I delete a lot of posts because I am often overwhelmed with the feeling I should acquire a horse, and go live in the mountains and stop bothering people

CIA guy: can you recommend a good hitman to fix my volvo?

"All men recognize the right of revolution; that is, the right to refuse allegiance to, and to resist, the government, when its tyranny or its inefficiency are great and unendurable." Henry David Thoreau

i once corrected a guy on the proper pronunciation of the canadian city regina and he said “that’s a lie, god would never have allowed that to happen”