College football is actively and aggressively stupid and dumb and I could not love it more even if there were rodeo clowns. More of everything please.

That game was fun as shit. Instant classic.

This game has turned into a legit banger

MIL: you going to have pork and sauerkraut today? Me: did you do that last year? MIL: yes! Me: and how was 2025? MIL: … Me: that answer your question?

Being serious.

*Stephen Wright voice* I woke up feeling the cheesiest, coach.

Atticus Sappington v. Stone Harrington sounds like a bare knuckle boxing match from 1853, rather than the starting kickers in this year’s Orange Bowl.

Yeah. That’s about right.

Happy New Year, friends. May we all wake up one glorious morning very, very soon to the news that it’s finally happened. Champagne for our real friends, real pain for our sham friends. Love you guys.

Never thought I’d be stoked to see Miami win anything, but here we are. Buckeye surrender cobras fill my heart with joy.

Ugh for fucks sake

This is about the meteorest of meteor games I can imagine.

Thanks for playing, Bryce.

Are you fucking kidding me, Michigan?

PICKKKKK

Dang, Arch. Okay then

There is zero chance that Gary Danielson isn’t 2 1/2 sheets to the wind right now. What are they gonna do, fire him??

Nebraska football coach Matt Rhule

Sun Bowl broadcast between Duke and Arizona State throwing out “Runnin with the Devil” on the end of 3rd quarter bump…very solid. Well done.

Never forget 🫡

The only thing I want to happen in 2026 is…it. Wouldn’t even be mad if it jumped the gun and happened in 2025.

God damn I love those throwback blues at home for the Tar Heels. Fucking gorgeous.

Blink 182 Live Crew

Beating the crowds by getting back into the gym in December. Come on in, resolutionites! The water’s cold and the weights are heavy. Come get you some!!

Ooooooooof Awful throw.

WHAT PLANET IS JOSH ALLEN FROM WHAT THE HOLY HELL

What the fuck just happened????

HOOK AND WHAAAAAAT

I’m the first to admit that I am impressed with Tom Brady as a color guy. He’s really good at it. But for the love of John Wooden, I don’t ever need to see that fucker smiling again. Always gives me the heebies.

Who let Sean Clifford put on Josh Allen’s uniform in that last series?

Up early and revisiting one of my favorite YT rabbit holes: GenZ and hip hop kids reacting to hearing classic 70s rock tracks for the first time (specifically Stairway and Comfortably Numb) These kids are gonna be alright.

What are we going to do tonight, Brain? The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to clear Ante 11 in Balatro.

Congrats to Minnesota, 2025 RaypBowl champs!

I’m really gonna need these announcers to enunciate the name of this bowl game, coz it sure as hell doesn’t sound like they’re saying Rate Bowl.

Dark fire will not avail you, Flame of Fucking Udun!

Make a Bond movie casual The Spy Who Loved Me but Wasn’t *in* Love with Me

Amen

I’m so mad I didn’t think of this one.

I got three dogs under 20 pounds and they’re all tougher than this little bitch poster is.

Sitting here waiting for updates to install on my new work computer (the third new one in a little over a month), which is why I’m copiously posting into void when there’s leftover beef tenderloin to eat downstairs.

Perfect seems like too obvious a word, but there’s not a better one for it.

A Good Day to Dine

Make a Bond movie casual You Only Live on Thursdays

Make a Bond movie casual Tomorrow Never Gets a Mild Sniffle

Make a Bond movie casual A View to a Stubbed Toe

Make a Bond movie casual Chickenfinger

I was about 9. My new stepmom was doing some dinner prep with salad greens and I said “we having salad with dinner?” because I’m 9 and an idiot. Her response was, “veeeery observant!” dripping with sarcasm because she was 25 and had no idea how to deal with kids, she just married a dude with one.

Boxing Day: when Christmas scientists dutifully pack up Mariah Carey and Michael Buble in their hermetically sealed stasis chambers until November 1, 2026.

Make a Bond movie casual The Man with the Golden Retriever