The results of your Cologuard colon cancer screening tests came back…

Heat 2: Heat Harder

Heat 2: Exothermic Boogaloo

Heat 2: Heats

Updated my banner with the bottom of this classic.

Miss you, Andy. DM hasn’t been the same since you left us.

www.maptap.gg July 8 100🎯 96🔥 93🏆 88🎉 76🤗 Final score: 874

Watching Cape Fear and holy fuckin shit no one plays crazy like Juliette Lewis.

FIFA: Actually, Balogun can play. IOC: Hold my beer.

Vaya con dios, Colombia.

I'd like to introduce my life coach and/or spirit animal

Just made myself some avocado toast. Who needs a house?

Congrats to everyone else in the world. You win.

Ok putting it out of my head. Go States.

I shouldn’t let this whole thing get to me but I’m really fucking upset about it to the point that I don’t know that I even wanna watch this game. He just destroys everything he touches and I want it to end. Can it please happen already?

inb4 Balogun scores an own goal and rips off his jersey to reveal a Red Devils shirt while Jim Ross says BAH GAWH

England supporters in Mexico City, I beg you; be nice out there tonight. You’re gonna get reeeeeally fucked up if you’re belligerent.

Jude is GAAAAASSED

I srsly cannot keep up with the bonkers of this game.

The King better go ahead and get on the phone with FIFA

What the serious fuck is going on in Azteca on this day

Proper pronunciation of Juliàn Quiñones’s surname: Keen-yoh-nez Pronunciations of Juliàn Quiñones’s last name uttered by this commentator thus far: Kwi-noh-nez Kin-oh-nez Kin-oh-nyez

There’s a joke here, I’m just not smart enough to get there.

The real question is: do you pick the Outlander on the bottom or the Outlander just above it?

As an American who has been hit with bags of piss at more than one US v. Mexico game: Sorry. I can’t, no matter how cool their kits are (srsly that El Tri kit with the Aztec print on the jersey is so fuckin crisp). CAMMONENGLUND i guess

Star Trek villains, wrong answers edition

For absolutely no reason:

*tapping the sign*

Can we get a Haat Trick???

FULL SEND BISSHES

Someone needs to put a shoulder into Neymar’s teeth.

SOCCER BROCK LESNAR SKALLLLLL

here's a wild idea: stop giving mosquitoes beer

Obviously I want Brazil to lose, because I am a good person. But I always want the goalkeeper to save every penalty, no matter what. All goalies are a team unto themselves; a flawless, angelic team.

You thought you was cute with that lil run up, didn’t ya???

Ooooo that’s a penalty.

Knowing that the skydiver is okay…this shit gets funnier every time I see it.

Second best. Nothing tops Paul’s Boutique.

Matt Berry and it’s not remotely close.

I ask for so little. Let it happen today.

Ill just leave this here.

Ernest Posts Feet on Main

Cabo Verde fuckin forever. Just unreal.

What. The. Holy. Fuck!!!’

Holy fuckin shit

No, the expression is: “you come at the king, you best not miss”

Right in the vozinhas