🙂

Hi hello, the Toronto Sun's email is [email protected] in case you'd like to inquire as to how they feel about their Ottawa Bureau Chief making these kinds of statements about innocent women being shot by militarized thugs in the street! Let's make his weekend extra fun :)

The initial release of Donkey Kong Country is now closer in time to the assassination of John F. Kennedy than today.

Checking in on Rudy Giuliani, I see he's having an insane one

Some of you didn't grow up knowing at least one old guy who used to drive around town on a riding lawnmower and it shows

The thing is Alfred Molina has been actively acting and actively great for a VERY long time.

It's Friday night baby

"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.

Spoons are a species of bowl. Knives are a species of plate. Forks are descended from a now-extinct dish that would be completely incomprehensible to the modern diner

Y’ever think about how sinks have a taint?

Can we talk about what a laughably overrated author H.G. Wells was? The only work of his I've consumed is the 2025 adaptation of War of the Worlds starring Ice Cube and to be honest I've seen all I need to

My number one health HACK: I don't take medical advice from influencers.

Tbh this is also the first time I’ve genuinely considered that he might have gotten a chin implant or filler You do you hun, but I never want to hear you attack gender affirming care again 💅

TURN ON THE FUCKING NEWS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT CHANNEL

Who did this?

Words I’ve looked up multiple times, then blacked out while reading the definition and woke up watching a Marvel movie. Milieu Praxis Miasma Inchoate

Every time I see a cybertruck in the wild it's like sorry I don't believe a real person bought one of these with their own money. These are paid actors

As a Canadian, I wish I could fuck up at my job as badly as Hegseth did and still stay employed. America truly is the land of freedom and opportunity

when you run afoul of Jeff and his gang of Street Toughs

In other words, Danielle Smith really hates Albertans and wants the world to burn faster. Everything in this list is such backwards thinking, and her thinking that not giving in to these demands would lead to a national unity crisis is fucking laughable.

did we ever hold the person who came up with the term "biweekly" accountable for their crimes, or are they still walking around oblivious to the chaos they set upon the world

imagine going to a premier known for corruption, decimating the public healthcare system, and destroying science centres, parks, trees, birds, and animal habitats for help and he's like "nah bro, you'll make me look bad" IMAGINE HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WOULD BE FOR YOU

This is one of the funniest things that could have happened

we just need stupider leftists. I'm dead serious. charismatic guys with the stamina to record 100 instagram reels a week in the front seat of their car saying stuff like "trump made summers too hot" and "the fries at wendy's taste better ever since they went woke"

please don’t scold people for using twitter. we don’t need more nazi sympathizers posting here.

Please understand. He couldn’t do more because he was busy perfecting the exact face babies do when they are shitting their pants

My quick fix for social media is duration caps. Allowing content to be longer increases the likelihood that it will be annoying or evil. Twitter with character limits? Good. Vine with 6 second videos? Good. Remove these guardrails and you get only Digital Filth

[if Chuck Schumer replaced Liam Neeson in Taken] CHUCK SCHUMER: [on phone] I don’t know who you are or what you want, but I will find you and I will help you kill my daughter

taking a page out of elon's book and making my acting career more efficient by firing my agent, hiring an angry toddler as my manager, and rigging all my self tape equipment to explode on contact

Canada's new Prime Minister is a middle-aged white man banker who has no experience in politics and looks like he couldn't define "woke" if you paid him, which normally I would object to BUT it means that Poilievre is undoubtedly shaking in his weird little white cowboy hat and boots ensemble

Can't wait for the water wars to start 🥲

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Quick question — what reason do Pierre Poilievre’s top adviser and Conservative MP Michelle Rempel Garner have to follow an account called r-word finder?

would be divine if she’s first and then he’s second, so he has to experience that

Am I allowed to say here that I would beat the 20 year old DOGE staffers with hammers

Oh my god. He's a fucking idiot.

Look at those little paws

it kicks ass that we've fully moved on from a model of internet success based on organically developing an audience who rewards you for creating interesting or entertaining work to everyone desperately trying to cheat their way into an audience so they can then scam them with various schemes

to deter copycats, the nypd crime stoppers division has commissioned a statue of mangione getting his dick and ass ate sloppy style

exciting news folks, my new cybertruck just got delivered

"'Impossible' to create nutrient-dense foods like 'Soylent Green' without farmed human flesh, Soylent Corporation says. "Without our ability to steal humans and turn them into meat for other humans, how will we get hopelessly and endlessly rich?"