Asking the front desk person at the pasta factory if I can spend a night in the spaghetti room sleeping on the warm spaghetti they’re NOT selling and they don’t know what “I’M” talking about?

"Are we participating in a thing that's not even working?" Great, sad read about this great, sad industry. www.vulture.com/article/chri...

I thought this was a really good episode of two people putting words to concepts that we probably all innately know somewhere deep in our brain folds

Ford vs Ferrari, now THAT'S a car movie.

We wanted that little fucking egg to hatch so fucking bad.

For all this talk of how important and precious social security numbers are I feel like mine should be more useful to me.

The movie where Hugh Jackman has dumb hair and sings Neil Diamond songs ISN'T a Neil Diamond biopic. Did we all know this?

I PROMISE you you're not prepared for this song.

is A Christmas Story a Christmas movie

is soup a Christmas movie

is Transformers a Christmas movie

Um, guess you could say it's the almighty dol-lore, cha-chinggggggggg.

ENOUGH! Halloween is OVER, take down your giant, terrifying Turkey Monsters, they’re scaring not just me but others in the neighborhood.

PTFO collaborated with @msjpauly.bsky.social and @motherjones.com on an investigation into Riley Gaines. Riley’s messaging about trans athletes involves “predatory men” and “sexual assault.” But there’s an important story multiple ex-teammates at Kentucky want you to know: youtu.be/iKUl8lkuGOc?...

got some stuff off my chest www.vulture.com/article/penu...

The title of my next book, the 5th in the John Dies at the End series, has been leaked, by me. It will be called, 'THERE ARE NO GIANT CRABS IN THIS NOVEL: A Novel of Giant Crabs' There is a free preview chapter in the paperback edition of I'm Starting to Worry About This Black Box of Doom.

whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight

Internet still fun sometimes.

reposting here bc it’s only on the other site but… 5 years ago, I worked at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

Ani-Moe-tion, Day 7: Gorillaz #simpsons #TheSimpsons #moevember #animoetion

Jack Skellington trying to figure out Christmas but it’s me simply waking up in the morning

"He's actually nice!"

People used to conduct phone calls away from other people and now they don't anymore.

Kaitlin Large is funding an indie movie! I don't vouch for people lightly but Kaitlin is amazing as @danielobrien.bsky.social will readily verify. You may remember her from Kill Me Now or Rom.Com on CRACKED. If you've got the means, check out the v clever pitch! www.indiegogo.com/en/projects/...

I need to know what Bob Hoskins said to Princess Diana in front of Roger Rabbit at the London premiere of WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT (1988).

All books on kindle are unhinged literature if you think of the turning part of a book as the hinge.

Watching Pretty Woman for the first time, this Julia Roberts kiddo is just lethally charming.

Entering the part of the cycle where I drink less water to pee less frequently only to find my ingenuity punished with headaches.

Would it surprise anyone else to learn a new Shane Black movie comes out TOMORROW? www.vulture.com/article/revi...

What's everyone thinking for lunch?

Hi new followers from Behind the Bastards! Here's everything so far. danielobrien.substack.com/p/daniel-obr...

Part Two!

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

@danielobrien.bsky.social I meant to make this updated GIF ages ago. Congrats on all the congratulatable stuff!

I'm on this week's Behind the Bastards learning about bad cop Pusser and getting distracted by his name for two hours.

The thing is Alfred Molina has been actively acting and actively great for a VERY long time.

Here’s last night’s story about Jimmy Kimmel, the FCC, freedom of speech in the U.S., and why certain broadcast groups could learn a thing or two from Love Island. youtu.be/ohPToBog_-g

least manosphere podcast @sorenbowie.bsky.social @danielobrien.bsky.social

These Harry Potter knockoffs are getting insane

It’s called “chowder” because I don’t understand “chow der heck” you’re supposed to eat it!!

One kinda cute thing about people my age is we love remembering and telling you what number various channels used to be.

Of COURSE I have time for a nearly two hour Simpsons video from @michaelswaim.bsky.social, in fact it’s the only thing that DESERVES time. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLMc...

Hello 911 my neighbor saw me eating wings standing above the outside garbage can. Can I have witness protection?

They should invent a kind of phone that I don't drop.

I WANT TO MAKE MY FEET DIFFERENT