Can't I just buy a goddamn television

Enjoying my annual Christmas scroll, where some people are super serious and others are like "Maybe it's the morning eggnog talking but the Grinch is low-key fine for real though"

Merry Christmas! Please enjoy the opening to this Japanese Christmas concert special that I watch every year. As far as I can tell, this has otherwise been scrubbed from the internet

Frosty the Snowman, I'd like you to meet my son, Fleshy the Human

God Rest You! Merry Gentlemen

Gathering my family around the television and telling them I've selected our Christmas Eve viewing

As someone who can see the end of their 30s on the horizon, I don't love turning on Monday Night Football and hearing 44-year-old Philip Rivers' return to the game being described like the cryptkeeper has miraculously emerged from the grave with all its limbs intact

The Muppets should adapt the lesser-known Dickens Christmas story where a woman (Sadie Sink) fake elopes with another man (Beaker), then hides out at her aunt's (Camilla) for six years as part of an elaborate ruse to make her fiancé (Kermit) and her sister (Miss Piggy) fall in love and marry

Had a sudden and intense vision of a cyberpunk Christmas Carol not unlike how I imagine medieval peasants felt they were struck by visions of God

I know what college football's transfer portal is, but I will never not do a double-take at headlines like "Iowa State QB Rocco Becht plans to enter portal."

Why does Young Sherlock look like the evil guy in those ads for mobile games about a cartoon lady and her baby getting thrown out of the house

It's After Eight somewhere, I say, as I eat the entire box of mints

Don't love the new spam email tactic of looking like an acursed text

A lot of people are comparing this to the Hunger Games but I think it's more telling that it basically sounds like something Mr. Beast would do

Every time I learn about one of these little streamer freaks the story is always like, "At 19, he was banned from Twitch for inventing new slurs while playing Grand Theft Auto for 11 hours a day. He was later unbanned because the platform missed his money, after which he interviewed David Duke."

Well, we need movies too. In fact, I'm worried that we need more of them.

Watching the heartfelt In Memoriam section while @valorant69 says "whose that uggo" in chat

When my wife suggests I branch out from wearing plaid

Like the NFL is just going to let him walk away after getting used to the Swiftie viewership boost

This happened to me last Halloween

In Gchat the salute emoji winks and I want to go on record that I don’t condone that. My salute emoji is not flirtatious or rascally in any way. They are a good soldier and they exist only to show respect.

Time travel story about a plot to destroy America, but instead of giving AK-47s to the Confederates or whatnot, someone just fries a generation of brains by putting games like Balatro and Ball x Pit into the first arcades

Please pre-order Daniel's book, he's a talented and passionate writer who understands the space he's working in well, and also if his career falls through he's just going to DM me his thoughts on the Power Rangers 14 times a day

Whenever something bad happens you can tell who hasn't seen the news yet because your social media feed will be, like, "I can't believe this happened," "Absolutely devastating news," "If I was Rudolph, things would have gone down VERY differently," "Sometimes it's just so hard to move forward"

I know that fandom and especially gaming fandom has always had its issues but, like, were guys in the '80s complaining that the text adventures didn't specify how big the honkers were

Steam really needs to add subsections to their user reviews for "trying to crank it to the game" and "not trying to crank it to the game"

"You said 'damn that sucks bro' 47 times when someone complained about back pain because you're all in your 30s."

Happy birthday to Shirley Jackson, an all-time favorite of mine. To celebrate, here's my favorite Jackson paperback cover art, an image that famously captures the central theme of The Lottery: boobs.

Asking Grok to sum up the Camp of the Saints for him because he’s too lazy to read it

Oh, wow, a 44-year-old is playing in the NFL. I'm in my 30s and can still destroy teenagers in Mario Kart but I guess that's not newsworthy.

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

Writing a cozy romance where the relationship collapses because the protagonist is too overwhelmed by the stresses of running a precarious small business. It's called like Midnights at the Cat-Themed Craft Supply and Beewax Store and is review-bombed on Goodreads.

Quest 64 has won this year's Game Awards. Thank you all for attending.

Everyone wants the hot new toy, Maoist Tickle Me Elmo

All women are super in my books. But it's nice that they're making a movie about one I guess.

That's nothing. Hundreds of agents and publishers have rejected A Wrinkle in Time when I've submitted it to them.

I'm sorry I called New York Poo York in 2023. I was probably mad about something the Yankees did.

I’m listening to the Markcast right now. It’s telling me that I’m a very nice young man.

I like this site but it's probably not a good sign that someone who posts eyebrow analysis to prove conspiracy theories has 22K followers

The Na'vi: What's up with 'em?

Fire and Ash is almost out and I haven't seen any Avatar discourse yet... let's make it happen for James, people

Do you think the grocery store will give me a free turkey in-exchange for some copyediting

The holidays are coming up, and what better gift than the promise of a book that isn't out yet? Don't answer that. Look, just go to Bookshop.org and use the code ROBERT15 to tell them you know me, and they'll hook you up with 15% off and an exclusive bonus story. bookshop.org/p/books/i-wi...

I think this is my favourite form of YouTube thumbnail face. Why is Spain so confusing to you, my friend

It is dangerously close to the Majestic 12 iconography in Deus Ex

I think this World Cup draw is a form of psychological warfare against all the European teams and fans coming to compete

Well, it was an honour just to be nominated.

I'm reading A Christmas Carol and when this game was mentioned I was immediately convinced that it should be the only form of legal gambling. It sounds fun, and will help men get outside and socialise.

Still trying not to absorb too much American news, but I feel like every morning I wake up to a headline like "The President's Godnephew-in-law Cleebus has redirected money meant for war orphans towards a sweetheart deal with the Boss Baby, which some describe as a potential conflict of interest."