Sudden Death remake but the stadium is half-empty because everyone's still waiting to get in

The internet is full of too many bad takes on World War II. Let’s get some comically confident misunderstandings about the Crimean War out there for a change of pace.

Is Victor Wembanyama overrated, the worst thread in the history of forums

Every two and a half months there’s a four hour gaming presentation called like Game Time Play Live and everyone goes insane when they announce Crash Bandicoot Tennis 5

FIFA forbids Canadian fans from bringing water inside own bodies into World Cup matches

Seeing that the guy who sold me my car died and saying Rest in JD Power

Oh, this website wants to verify my age, I’ll just pick a random date. And to be efficient I’ll pick one that was only a little over 18 years ago, like 1997.

American politics will make me slowly mute mention of every state one by one, until my feed is solely updates from the good people of Nebraska

My latest for @thebeaverton.com.

Have been getting those scam emails about how my great book can be made even greater with the aid of money, and I'm fascinated by the accompanying photo of this "promotional expert" who appears to have traveled to the Mushroom Kingdom and won a Mario Kart competition

Good morning, I wrote something about beavers: www.inverse.com/entertainmen....

Paying thousands of dollars to sit in the front row at the NBA Finals and wear a shirt that says "USE THE ELAM ENDING"

It's nice of the Knicks and Spurs to give American sports fans something to watch when the NHL Finals are on an off day

Looks like YouTube's attempt to add games is going great

It's not the biggest issue here but as someone who occasionally triggers voice commands on household smart devices by accident I wonder how many times that's going to happen when you cram a thousand such devices into an office full of people having all sorts of conversations

Crushing my cholesterol pill and sweeping it into a big glass of whisky like a grizzled private detective

Restaurant’s wacky theme menu runs out of steam halfway through

Tough call, but I think Charles McAdoo is probably my favourite baseball player who sounds like a British investment firm that collapsed amid scandal in the early 2000s

Finally, a D-Day for guys who wear Tapout gear to formal events

I do think this kind of reporting has value but also you couldn't pay me to get any further into this article

SGA v. Wembanyama is my favourite NBA matchup that also sounds like a European legal dispute over industrial emissions

Getting some helpful information from the DC Wiki

It's happening. Prepare for your college sporting events and NASCAR races to be sabotaged in retaliation

Heroically stopping franchises from pursuing bad ideas by very publicly pitching them first

The next Fast and Furious screenplay just started spontaneously generating itself

If the Stanley Cup Finals are Vegas v. Carolina I'm pretty sure some sort of Canadian sleeper cell gets activiated down south

I guess it's not the biggest issue of the day but the trailer for Minions & Monsters raises an important question: are the Minions European-coded

TikTok is already buzzing about this year's Summerween theme: Thomas Ligotti. Get ready for all the horror superfans in your life to confuse themselves with mannequins, advocate for human self-extinction, and get really, really, *really* mad about having to attend meetings at the office.

Also wrote about drug policies. Which are good? Which are bad? Don't ask your mom or dad, just read this.

Wrote about the science of jetpacks in honour of the latest Star Wars movie, and yes, just to get out ahead of this, I wrote this before the movie revealed that Baby Yoda was sucked into the Mandalorian's jetpack and died. I don't think anyone had the chance to revise but expect a full obit later

The offside review and its consequences have been disastrous for the human race

Telling my wife that I've just made a major investment in our financial future

I can't quite explain it but these dogs look like they *know* they're Mets fans

Look, pal, there’s only one Mark making silly posts around these parts. Stop trying to muscle in.

Glad to see the bar embrace our local football team, the Calgary Monstrous Fallout Cows

Doing the "We have always been at war with Eastasia/We have never been at war with Eastasia" swap but 27 times a day

I appreciate the writing but the image makes it look like Mr. Met just learned that Mrs. Met has cancer

Play-by-play guys every single time a playoff game starts in Vegas: "It's time for these two teams to play their best cards and see how the dice land, because they've put all their chips on the table."

Well I don’t see why that needs to be a whole newsletter

Forget the number of men who think they could land a plane in an emergency. I want to know how many men think they could easily win a game of Jumanji

Fifty-five years ago! Happy Birthday Bob Dylan Peanuts cartoon!!*

“so what’s your take?” “the city of New York must pay me $1 million cash in the next hour and I will kill one person for every minute they are late” “100% disagree”

Eh, the GOP just called an "emergency caucus."

Wrote about Mission: Impossible as part of my mission to write about all of the Mission: Impossibles

Danielle Smith announces Fall referendum on the concept of referendums www.thebeaverton.com/2026/05/dani...

They should bring back Gloomy Otto. Kid's got potential.

Canada ends agonizing three-year Walter Cup drought

They're calling it the world's most beautifully phrased question

The Disco Elysium sequel is already producing the most annoying reviews imaginable