Since HEAT 2 is a prequel, they should call it PREHEAT.

Incroyable

Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.

Fond memories of working at NTL, woman rang up screaming at me. Her husband in background shouts at her, “don’t talk to them like that. They’re on fuck all” Then he takes phone off her, and gives me a line which I have used myself since “Do you have a manager you dislike intensely I can speak to?”

A+ State of the Union counterprogramming by TCM.

Not sure I’ve ever seen Central Park look as Calvin and Hobbes as it does today.

For my fellow NYCers.

this just in from new york city: we’re hearing that mayor mamdani just signed an executive order making it illegal to NOT stand at your window and fold your arms and say “wow, it’s really coming down out there”

I had to retire that Apple TV a few years ago, but that glitchy three day rental of Safe House in 2012 outlived Safe House cast member Sam Shepard, who died in 2017.

The reason we're here is that tens of millions of people will punch a hole in a wall if they hear someone used food stamps to buy soda but they're fine if the right-wing podcaster turned fbi director uses his taxpayer funded private jet to go party whenever he feels like it bsky.app/profile/thed...

being at the age where everyone you know is having children

Grab your Dramamine? Buddy, we all got our fill of motion sickness entertainment with the shaky cam epidemic of the 2000s.

I've respected my mom's rabbi more ever since I ran into him at a local craft beer spot, sitting at a window seat, working on his Rosh Hashana sermon with a pad, a pen, a beer, and a view of his neighborhood passing by.

Say what you will about How to Make a Killing, but my Exvangelical wife thought Topher Grace’s character was spot on, especially with the Reliant K needle drop. That movie weirdly did its best character work *by far* with the biggest stereotype characters.

Now this is Quality Content™️

Our Marlowe planted himself on the top of the couch right beneath our other favorite Marlowe, as painted by @briannaduggan.bsky.social

Really makes me feel better about myself when I log on and realize I’ve been offline long enough to miss one whole discourse entirely.

Making every possible audible a different Mitch Hedberg joke would rule so much

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

I stepped on a foot in a bar and apologized profusely before realizing this was whose foot it was.

a literal monument to all of our quixotic bullshit projects we will never finish. incredible place

Maybe Richard Linklater should get sole custody of Glenn Powell for a couple of years.

I'm sorry, the libs are getting CARDINAL DOLAN in the national divorce?

“why do you lock replies” people don’t realize that the kind of entitlement they have towards interacting with a stranger is a new phenomenon and the internet incentivizes a certain level of anti social behavior one should have the agency to spare oneself from

Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew https://theonion.com/aide-wearily-begins-5th-explanation-of-why-trump-cant-pardon-prince-andrew/

Normally the video of the dangerous leader saying "I can destroy the country if I want" is footage that has to be smuggled to the right person after a movie long chase against people desperate to stop its release and their failure to do so results in the leader's removal. Here it's a Friday.

Doctor: Amos, I'm concerned about the changes in your blood work. Me: (mouthful of cookies) IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE DOC

*Taylor Sheridan pulling a slot machine arm* "Ok, we got... Kurt Russell... as a... Fire Chief in... Paducah, Kentucky" Paramount Exec: Sure whatever, here's $40,000,000. All of our parents: Prairie of Flames is the best show on TV

me when i didnt do the reading and the teacher calls on me

Someone a decade+ younger than I asked me if I saw the Matrix in theaters and how cool that must have been

He's pulling a Lauryn Hill.

Not only are there plenty of Clarence Beekses in this administration, but they actually offered the role of Clarence Beeks to G. Gordon Liddy.

The Supreme Court:

We now go live to the Trump press conference

Where Were You when Donald Trump held a press conference claiming there’s a conspiracy against him? No, the other one. No, the other one. No, the– wow he does this a lot

Les Wexner's attorney during the House Oversight Committee deposition on Epstein: "I will fucking kill you if you answer another question with more than five words."

[Dennis Duffy voice] Yeah I could've gone to the Olympics if I wanted

In prison, teatime was always terribly important. There were tarts, and scones, and puff pastries. Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor did the steeping and the pouring, he was serving six months for rape

we couldn't use government funds to buy coffee (like, folgers ground coffee) when i worked on a CDC outbreak emergency response

Same energy

Andrew is eighth in line to the throne, but that’s prison toilets for you!

Tip of the cap to whoever wrote this line in Emerald Fennell's Wikipedia page: "Fennell was educated at Marlborough College, a prestigious public school in Marlborough, Wiltshire, attended by figures such as the Soviet spy Anthony Blunt, and convicted child sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell."

It’s Lee Marvin’s birthday. Here’s Toshiro Mifune drunkenly getting ready to shoot people but Marvin stays cool as a cucumber for a very good reason. - From John Boorman’s excellent Adventures of a Suburban Schoolboy

Film festivals gotta start doing this when someone says "This is really more of a comment than a question" during the Q&A

Anyone who ever played Monopoly with an older sibling who permitted himself to rob the bank gets a lot of deja vu from this administration.

I imagine it was extremely disturbing

I regularly see people wondering how it's possible that there are so many musicians and writers and film makers and artists from a tiny nation like Iceland. And the answer is really simple: State funding for art education and artists. I literally get a salary from the government to write books.

For 82 minutes to feel longer and more painful than seeing The Cat in the Hat on the big screen, there would have to be actual torture involved.