i no longer support tim onion

If any Republicans want to have an obscure wide receiver-off I will wipe the floor with them.

Ruining another casual conversation by saying that generative AI is incredibly unreliable even for that one little thing you like to use it for

*slaps a gold bar down at Staples* Give me all the staples

yeah you gotta willie horton ken paxton. have the party committees and super pacs run ads explicitly accusing paxton of covering up for a child abuser. “you love your children and would do anything to protect them. so why would you vote for a man who lets child abusers run free”

Knowing literally nothing else about her, this normal looking woman, who is apparently 30 years old and childless, seems to have a dream life compared to someone who is married to Stephen Miller with three children that presumably at least one of whom he fathered.

As @junlper.beer noted, this is just the birthday boy defense. x.com/canteverdie/...

i need hell to be real so bad, man

I'm dying to know how these people reacted to seeing the blood all over their AC.

this fucking sucks ( from the creator of the cupcake character, lorynbrantz instagram - www.instagram.com/p/DY2v_qXIoQt )

The Squamish people of what is now Vancouver were illegally dispossessed of their land 100 years ago. They sued, got the land back, and used their sovereignty to ignore local zoning and build 6,000 new homes over the loud objections of nearby wealthy NIMBYs. Now other tribes are getting in the game.

my god

Marlowe is currently snoozing under Marlowe, and I will once again vouch that Brianna’s work is even more gorgeous in person. Great gift to yourself or the movie lover in your life.

Talarico: I’m an eighth-generation Texan. I’ve been eating barbecue since before Ken Paxton’s first indictment. And if all they have on me is lying about me being a vegan, I feel pretty good about our chances this November.

My friend is staying with us because he's nominated for an Emmy for Chasing Time. He mentioned needing to actually write an acceptance speech, just in case. Naturally, I suggested he open with "Oceans are now battlefields." He said "You know, that wouldn't be the biggest stretch." Fingers crossed.

The Wire, season 2

lmao

I'm in Goobies, Newfoundland (yes, seriously) where the rest stop/Irving restaurant has this delightful (and patriotic!) moose to enjoy. A must visit.

This is the music festival lineup equivalent of the Spring Training invites from Major League, right down to the part where one guy on the list is dead.

imagine this fuckin weirdos browser history lol

As an anthropologist, I endorse this message!

An unfortunate thing about filmmaking is that the right person with the right luck can be 97% full of shit and still stumble into directing a memorable or even good movie or two, and then they get treated like a Notable Director for years after they’ve exhausted their ounces of talent and ideas.

living in a 24/7 d/s (damsel/snidely) relationship with a girl who keeps a pair of airpods in so she can listen to oncoming train asmr to stay in "trackspace"

There’s a hawk across the way from our building that ate a bloody meal on someone’s air conditioner.

Very endeared to the gruff, burly locksmith softly singing along to “What About Love?” by Heart while he makes my key.

These are the two optimal types of Baseball Name.

I just want the nation's top public health official to talk about kids' junk less. I have mostly given up on him stopping it entirely.

Roger Corman: Ron said he’d star in the Grogu picture but only if he could direct. Ron Howard: Roger said there have to be six breasts, two guns, and a minute of Grogu. Then Jack Nicholson misses with the crossbow and actually shoots Grogu. Jack Nicholson: That little man bled like a chicken Kiev.

If you’re going to be anywhere near Long Beach Island, New Jersey on June 13th, I’ll be screening my short film The Crumbs as part of the wonderful Lighthouse Film Festival lighthouseff.eventive.org/schedule/6a0...

New York is a better place when the Knicks are contenders. That team lifts the mood in the city in little ambient ways more than any other.

TIRED: Public universities should not be in the business of for-profit athletics WIRED: Actually every professional sports team should be owned by the state

It's so weird to see what is undistinguishable from an AITA post where the answer is an obvious yes, but instead of an anonymous AITA post from a random person, it's a famous person broadcasting it.

GIMME FUEL GIMME FIRE GIMME CLEAR SUGGESTED ATTIRE

Had my nephews over for an authentic older millennial experience. We watched Bourne Identity, played Street Fighter II, and ate a whole bag of Milanos.

Went to an anti AI datacentre protest march today and a friend of mine got a picture that summed it all up

If I’m not evolved enough to understand it, then why did they have to steal my writing to train it?

The face of a man who hates walking in the rain, but kept extending his walk in the rain.

So Secret Service shot two people, no reason given.

Then they're not "swing" voters, they're just Republicans

Marlowe, in his decadence, constantly chases novel gustatory experiences and has come to confuse this empty, hedonistic quest with being cultured.

Too many people are making fun of "gustatory" and not enough people are making fun of "anecdote." Okay, I take that back. The correct number of people are making fun of "gustatory," but more people should be making fun of "anecdote."

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Kura Total Landscaping

John Landis Directs Mostly Successful Twilight Zone Shoot

Between the weather, the nose candy, and the letdown of Senior not coming, Donald Trump Jr.'s wedding has serious potential to spiral into a November Rain video situation.

Cooking Grogu doesn't have to be intimidating. I'll walk you through it. Now everyone wants the Instagram image of a whole roasted Grogu, but you'll eat so much better food if you cook his different parts separately. First we'll dry brine our Grogu loin, then we'll get our Grogu rib ragout going.

It's wild that I can somehow STILL be shocked by this shit. I just refuse to normalize it in my brain, no matter how commonplace it becomes.

“so what’s your take?” “the city of New York must pay me $1 million cash in the next hour and I will kill one person for every minute they are late” “100% disagree”

Me: I remember one time when you were 3, you looked at me and said "I dreamed you died last night" with no emotion whatsoever. Nephew, now 18: I was just stating a fact about a dream. Me: But you showed no feeling about me dying in the dream. Nephew: Well I hadn't known you very long.

As soon as you start having thoughts like this it’s over. You have become a colony for the cognitovirus my guy