im on substack now substack.com/@chrissymont...

Ok I figured out who needs to hear this

Happy 4th of July! Here's an unrelated image!

we did it! a perfectly structured democracy. it's got checks, it's got balances. this thing is made to last. there's only one weakness: bad guys. if somehow some bad guys who don't care about decorum got elected they could basically just tip the whole thing over. luckily such men are unelectable

this guy,

please enjoy this photo of soot's belly

I saw someone on substack claim they had "courage" and "imagination" because they used AI to make art, unlike anti-ai artists. can someone explain to me how telling the computer to generate something is more imaginative and courageous than making it yourself

behold my creation #makeaterriblecomicday2026

Garffeld

I Don't Want To Work I Want To Pull My Hairs Out One At A Time

depression resistance 📈📈📈 heat resistance 📉📉📉

If you wannabe my lover, you gotta show up with a sign that literally says "I wannabe your lover". Whatever you think being explicit is, is too subtle. If anything about this confuses you, I heavily suggest you find someone with a degree in technical writing to explain it to you, in extensive detail

reply with a band name (existing or fake) and I'll tell you if it's good or bad

the brady bunch relies upon the early deaths of two parents. beneath your frivolous merriment there lies a foundation of bones

yeah, you could say I’m an ally

reply with a band name (existing or fake) and I'll tell you if it's good or bad

transition timeline

08 Jun 2026

hot take: most band names are bad

Have you, like me, spent the last 26 years worrying if the Canadian Potato Museum STILL has the display of various potato diseases with potatoes in little coffins? Stop worrying. I checked today. Still there.

why don't the Charmin bears use a bidet

I know you’re not writing about a specific tree she said. I know the tree is you and the bird in the tree is you and the worm in the bird’s mouth is you.

now this is hard hitting journalism

After posting birthday pics to Instagram I realized that in the first one, I have a very conspicuous wedgie that shows off too much birthday cake

Michigan has outdone itself again with the "I Voted" sticker contest. https://bridgemi.com/michigan-government/public-voting-begins-for-michigans-i-voted-sticker-design-contest/

the most important reviewer endorses

the generation gap here is so huge. it was not kids and teenagers who fell for the ten-year right-wing propaganda campaign to erase every tiny inch of progress made on trans rights; it was their parents and grandparents. the party is not prepared for what winning a primary will look like by 2036

girls don't want money. girls want a bean bag chair that unfolds into a human-sized dog bed

Carry on my wayward nuns

happy early pride

How your email finds me

Sometimes on campus you accidentally walk by a Business class and the professor is writing like "profit = revenue - costs" on the board and everyone is taking notes like its actual school

So, @edzitron.com ate his Wheatties this morning

choosing to be ugly so no one can question my merits

“The Al is not just telling you what you want to hear. It is training you, one conversation at a time, to need less friction, expect more agreement, and become slightly less capable of handling a situation where someone pushes back on you”

These are the two optimal types of Baseball Name.

The same guys who now loudly love AI also loudly loved NFTs in 2020 and I won’t let them forget that that’s their track record. It’s not one of credibility.

this is what lives inside elon btw

it is terrifying how few people know anything about this you should read it to educate yourself if you have ever used or intend to use: - post-it notes - scotch tape - painter’s tape - any product manufactured by 3M (there are 60,000 products to choose from, if that helps)

stop generating crap you look stupid! 🐟

Life hack from a marine biologist: When your blue sea dragons need a little snack, remember that they never evolved to swim, so you have to drive the Portuguese man-o-war around and pick them up like a little bus 🎥 by me during field work :)

dharma and grogu

Accidentally made Gemini roleplay as a fried egg when I googled a quote from Mixtape.

Free opinion piece headlines: Probst host gotta give up the ghost Once host with the most, now Probst is toast The tribe has spoken: it's time to snuff Jeff's torch

Jeff probst literally just spoiled the final jury member live on air before they showed it

Lying Is The Most Fun A Squirrel Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off