In the past week, I've applied for 13 jobs. If I get at least one generic rejection email, I'll know I'm on the right path.

I feel really smart whenever anyone references a book I was forced to read in high school

Morning walk

Lonely Nation Gathers Outside Window Of Happy Family Eating Dinner Together https://theonion.com/lonely-nation-gathers-outside-window-of-happy-family-ea-1819575607/

*me, confidently applying for the PWHL Seattle communications manager position like I have any chance*

I'm glad the Mariners' banners will get slightly less defeating.

May you always be as enigmatic as Chewy boxes are to cats.

[talking to neighbor] hey I couldn’t help but notice your house is right next to mine

Me: "Maybe I could work for myself!" Also me: *has no skills* *is terrified of self-promotion* *has $5*

One of my friends recommended the film "They Came Together." If you've ever watched "Airplane!" and thought, "I love this, but it could be raunchier," this film is for you.

In a speech before the United Nations General Assembly today, President Trump said climate change is a “con job” and climate scientists are “stupid people” — and he called green energy and immigration a “double-tailed monster” that is destroying Europe. 🧵 1/5

I was texting one of my siblings today not to worry because we're all losers. Autocorrect tried to change that to both "lasers" and "lovers", so when you feel bad about yourself, just remember: We're all lasers.

I think I'll keep boycotting Disney because my inner five-year-old still wants to protest the Beast's transition into Temu Tarzan.

This is Annie. She freaking loves fall. 13/10 (FB: James Osborne)

I get way too excited when someone on the train actually talks to me. Yesterday, it was *three* different people. It was off the rails.

I'm going to need all of you to tell me your Robert Redford movie boyfriend. Is it Sundance? Hubbell? Swearing old man on a boat?

A guy on tik tok onside kicks into random things

*mournfully shooting off a tshirt cannon into the sadly cheering funeral crowd*

Disney Plus? More like Disney MINUS considering how many people have unsubscribed this week (Holds for applause) But seriously

It's been a bad week, but at least I've already paid for tickets to see Buoy 22 times this year! #seakraken

My Substack post this week is in honor of my favorite environmentalist, Utah mountain enthusiast, one-of-a-kind performer, object of high school Michelle's affection: Robert Redford. michellemilliken.substack.com/p/theres-a-r...

Also me: *applying for six-figure King County communications jobs like I have a ninth inning lead with Lou Trivino's chance in heck of getting it*

Me, after getting laid off: "I've got to find comparable jobs with good benefits." The local library's part-time page opening:

I changed my profile picture because I could only look at my hideous race photo for so long.

It's Friday night, and you know what that means! Time to put on a horse costume and stand motionless in my neighbor's garden for 6 hours

Sadder high five from this singleton who just got laid off and now only has one job. If you have any need for a freelance copy editor or social media content creator who only adds annoying puns, you know where to find me. No, really.

Another fun post from the newest NHL fan and in it, she breaks a disturbing* story of a spectator trying to give his baby to the Maple Leafs. (*Not disturbing.)

*me, wondering if maybe I should start up Discovery+ again since I cancelled my Disney+ package and Paramount+* News: "Paramount Skydance preparing bid to buy Warner Brothers Discovery." At least I still have my Animaniacs DVDs from when Warner Brothers (and Sister) just lived in a water tower.

Robert Redford's legacy is more than cinema: he fought for people and the planet. As we mourn his passing, let's honour him by pushing for climate justice and continuing his commitment to social change. 🌍✨ #RobertRedford

To reiterate what some others have noted, interview with the coach while live action is happening in a playoff game is INSANE

with all natural predators & competitors in the late night ecosystem decimated, a plague of jimmy fallons descends upon the countryside. they're everywhere. they eat the grain. they strip the leaves from trees. you can hear them tittering on the roofs, the scurry scrape of those nasty little claws

“Yep, last time Bellevue or Mercer Island is letting that shit happen,” said Sound Transit spokesman Deuce Grey.

ah, well

Sad high five to all my fellow singletons working two jobs. Now get back to work!

Thinking a lot today about how one of the biggest misunderstandings I had about "how the world works" for most of my life was that the numerical benchmarks for what is considered a "middle class salary" is a number that represents half of a double income household, not a sufficient single income.

A free and democratic society cannot silence comedians because the President doesn’t like what they say. This is an attack on free speech and cannot be allowed to stand. All elected officials need to speak up and push back on this undemocratic act.

I'm glad we're not imposing tariffs on this important Canadian import.

So I guess we need to cancel our Disney+ bundles and give more money to our local PBS affiliates? Masterpiece Theater, documentaries on things we didn't know were so utterly fascinating, and midnight 1970s Doctor Who episodes have never steered us wrong.

Controlling the media is one of the items on the authoritarian checklist; this includes not just hard news, and increasingly social media, but also threatening satirists who mock the regime. The FCC is pushing this control, but corporations do not have to fold. open.substack.com/pub/donmoyni...

I know that a lot of people are sad about the Robert Redford news, but for me it's a little more complicated considering he once offered me $100 to sleep with my wife

It seemed a bit disrespectful at first, but as my feed has filled with wall-to-wall pictures of young, middle-aged, and even elderly Robert Redford, there is really no conclusion to be reached except dear lord, what a smoke show.

Robert Redford has passed away at age 89. In this short video he reflects on growing older. WATCH: #Resist

Falling in love with Robert Redford all over again. From 1976. #AllThePresidentsMen #Vale

oh no just read the great Robert Redford has passed. I had the great fortune to work with him on a film. I became a target of some on going, on set bullying & Bob was so calm, compassionate and comforting to me… i will never forget his kindness & dreamy blue eyes love to his loved ones peace 🤍 🕊️ 🤍

Robert Redford playing a gentle incarnation of death, coming for a frightened old woman in The Twilight Zone episode "Nothing in the Dark" (1962). An extraordinary performance then, terribly bittersweet today

He was a great actor and so much more. So sad to lose a tireless champion for the environment. R.I.P. Robert Redford.

Him and Paul Newman, reunited to do more good with their hotness

Amused at all the tributes that are basically like here lies Robert Redford, who was hot