after hours ULSD (diesel) in the U.S. up some 30c/gal- I avoid hyperbole, but it is quickly becoming possible we see new all time records for diesel ($5.86/gal) in the days and weeks ahead everywhere. I don’t like any of this… at all.

everyone knows this is the funniest tweet

"Chicago Bulls abandoned--" ah, say no more, that's the dream, let's all live it for a moment together

Well now how did he get the new jersey so fast

If I have to start rooting for an out-of-state team there are way more fun fan bases I can choose to be part of

White Sox, Twins, and Royals are going to be battling it out in a season-long triple threat AL Central suck-off #SuckOff

This one made me laugh until sound stopped coming out.

Can I get it in teal and purple?

from way downtown

Police have it narrowed down to one suspect

To be fair, so am I.

My favorite guy who walked on the moon is Alan Bean because he kind of never got over it and never stopped painting pictures about it and that is the healthiest and most correct response to going through the single most absolutely preposterous experience any humans have ever had.

i liked the other sundowning guy, the one who ended the war, everyone got mad

Bari Weiss:

It's going great, everybody!

For the nth consecutive day:

"this whole thing smacks of gender" I say as I turn the Chrysler Pacifica into the Chrysler Piece of Shit

jonathan the tortoise lives

space skeet

Today's the day.

every day i get my little ESPN notifications about whatever the chicago white sox just did, which is what i imagine it was like following world war I via daily newspaper updates in 1917. yup another 3,000 dead to advance the trench line 30 meters

Third Way, January 2025: No more litmus tests! Democrats must "reject the pledges!" Third Way, March 2026: Here's a litmus test!

woke 2 preseason warmups have commenced

Keep rolling coal across six lanes at your four-minute stop lights, Florida. You're doing great.

This is America (complimentary)

Found an actual good bit running today

Wednesday Moose

[fart noise]

a good rule of thumb for moving through the world is if anyone calls themselves an "influencer" or "creator" they are about to tell you something insanely fucking stupid

You’ve done it again AI! Another perfect search result.

Happy RTFM day! Really enjoyed writing this one and sourcing the worst vintage printer sounds you've ever heard.

every girl is bi. you just have to figure out whether it's sexual, polar, pedal, modal, national, axial, annual, carbonate, metallic, or bimbap

This week's storms have really spooked him, so he's been in his safe spot a lot Tuesday Moose

The leadoff batter tomorrow should challenge the first called strike just to set his brain on fire from the jump

i can only hope that if I was a Bimbofied Husband i too would have a wife who loves & supports me & sucks on my comically enormous fake tits

Hot damn what a wordmark

The whole Kristi Noem husband story is hilarious but honestly nothing is wilder than their wedding photo.

"Turn your crank to Frank!"

WE HAVE ANOTHER CB BUCKNOR MOMENT™ HE MAY NOT LAST THE SEASON

@seanmccarthy.bsky.social We have our first physical application of your work. Got the boys new baseball bags for the season.

Lerner & Rowe advertising as "Your LOCAL Law Firm" because their phone number is (708) 222-2222 and a new competitor has (800) 222-2222 really emphasizes how skeezy they are Guess what state Glen Lerner isn't licensed to practice law in, and guess whose ads are all over Arizona billboards & radio

Mentally where I’m at

@fergoe.blacksky.app Need your rating on the new Braves City Connect, on a scale of 1:05 to 10:05

Great Lakes region Jet fuel prices have just breached the $5 per gallon mark to become the most expensive in the country.

Please don't run really smart guys like Mark off the platform because you can't read or are addicted to getting mad online