SimpsonsQOTD
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Ah! I love these lazy Saturdays.
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"I love these real saturdays. They're so relaxing. Not like that fake saturday that almost got me fired."
14 days ago
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♪ if you think I'm cuddly ♪ ♪ and you want my company ♪ ♪ come on, wifey, let me know ♪ ♪ ow, ow, oww! ♪
about 1 hour ago
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"Oh, don't you worry. Most of you will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone."
about 3 hours ago
3
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"And is this your girlfriend, Ralph?" "Yes. I love Lisa Simpson And when I grow up, I'm going to marry her."
about 5 hours ago
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"What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested?" "Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard them all. I like you as a friend. I think we should see other people I no speak english. I'm married to the sea. I don't want to kill you, but I will..."
about 7 hours ago
1
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about 9 hours ago
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"Mrs. Krabappel and principal Skinner were in the closet making babies. And I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."
about 11 hours ago
1
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"Do you want to see my new chain saw and hockey mask?!"
1 day ago
3
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"Okay, don't panic. Remember what the instructor said." "If you ever get into trouble all you need to do is..." "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all. Nothing at all." "Stupid, sexy Flanders!"
2 days ago
0
130
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"So I says, 'Yeah? If you want that money come and find it 'cause I don't know where it is, you baloney. You make me want to retch.'
3 days ago
1
80
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"Sorry I'm late, everyone. Somebody tampered with my brakes." "Then, you should have been early."
4 days ago
1
297
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"More testicles mean more iron."
5 days ago
1
107
19
"Moe, this is L.S. Calling for H.S." "Just gimme the bet, Lisa."
6 days ago
0
78
12
"Let's see what's happening at the Super Bowl."
6 days ago
0
108
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"Come on, Lenny I need four more guys to fill my Super Bowl bus. What do you say?" "Nah." "Come on." "Nah." "Oh, come on." "Ah." "Yes! Now that Lenny's in Carl will fall like a domino."
6 days ago
0
86
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"Mindy, because of our uncontrollable attraction, I think we should avoid each other from now on." "Max, what I did, I did because of alcohol and anger." "I'm tired of these jokes about my giant hand. The first such incident occurred in 1956 when..."
7 days ago
1
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"Jiminy cricket! Whoo! Expired ham."
8 days ago
4
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9 days ago
3
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"Put out an A.P.B. On a Uosdwis r. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown."
10 days ago
3
103
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"Okay, F.D.R. is in the White House an ice cream cone costs a nickel and a hot new tune by Benny Goodman is hitting the charts. The year is 1939." "19...1939! Oh my god. Ive gone back in time! Oh my god. Ive gone back in time! Ive got to warn everybody about Hitler! And get to the ice cream store!"
11 days ago
1
79
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"Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you."
12 days ago
0
86
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"Come, family. Sit in the snow with Daddy and let us all bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow."
13 days ago
1
79
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"I love these real saturdays. They're so relaxing. Not like that fake saturday that almost got me fired."
14 days ago
1
185
51
"Bart, you didn't finish your spaghetti and Moe Balls. *Silence, you fool. It can be ours.* Run, boy! Run."
15 days ago
2
80
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"The floor feels a little gritty here." "Yeah. We ran out of floorboards there so we painted the dirt. Pretty clever!"
16 days ago
5
89
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"Ah! I love these lazy saturdays." "It's wednesday, Homer." "WORK!"
17 days ago
0
106
36
"Hey, hey ya there, Midge. Oh, gee, I like what you done to your hair." "You caught me at a real bad time, Moe. I hope you understand I'm too tense to pretend I like you."
18 days ago
0
95
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"D'oh! The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottom's big!"
19 days ago
0
102
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"Ah, I'm just a big, toasty cinnamon bun."
20 days ago
1
184
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"Old man winter!" "That's right. I fill your driveways with ice and snow. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, that's what." "Stop! Get out, you lousy... season."
21 days ago
1
104
27
"Smithers, where's that union representative? He's 20 minutes late." "I don't know, Sir. He hasn't been seen since he promised to clean up the union."
22 days ago
2
72
12
23 days ago
4
128
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"You are... in grave danger!"
24 days ago
0
51
10
"Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong."
25 days ago
1
138
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"Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked."
26 days ago
2
136
26
"Are you squandering the precious gift of life In front of the idiot box? Are you on your third beer Of the evening?" "Does whiskey count as beer?" "Maybe its time you joined the exciting field of monorail conducting by enrolling at the Lanley Institute." "Marge I want to be a monorail conductor"
27 days ago
2
60
6
"Hey, Burnsie! This was some swell shindig. Thank you very much. I had a great time. I just want to shake your hand. You're the greatest." "Smithers, help!"
28 days ago
4
89
18
"You have 24 hours to live." "24 hours!' "Well, 22. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long."
29 days ago
2
69
16
"My name is Hans. Drinking has ruined my life. I'm 31 years old."
about 1 month ago
1
148
52
"Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem." "I won $60 last night." "Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!"
about 1 month ago
3
98
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"Something wrong, officer?" "Yeah, got a taillight out." "Where?" "Right there." "One day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops." "They are? Oh, no. Have they set a date?"
about 1 month ago
1
235
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"I got pictures of you, Quimby." "You don't scare me. That could be anyone's ass."
about 1 month ago
1
193
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"Sorry, M.B., but I'm having trouble with this character. Is he supposed to have some kind of neurological impairment, like Rain Man or Awakenings? I mean, what the hell am I doing here?"
about 1 month ago
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92
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"Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! Go home! You're off the team! For good!"
about 1 month ago
6
122
22
"I don't think we're talking about love here. We're talking about s-e-x in front of the c-h-I-l-d-r-e-n." "Sex cauldron? I thought they closed that place down."
about 1 month ago
2
192
50
"Y'ello? You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel."
about 1 month ago
0
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"Ooh, January 1. Better get going on those taxes, Neddy."
about 1 month ago
0
690
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"Oh, will this horrible year never end?"
about 2 months ago
0
358
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"Welcome to T.G.I. McScratchy's where it's constantly New Year's Eve." "It must be wonderful to ring in the new year over and over and over." "Please, kill me."
about 2 months ago
0
110
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reposted by
SimpsonsQOTD
Snicket McG (Comms Open!)
about 2 months ago
THE THING HAPPENED
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Merry Christmas!
about 2 months ago
3
72
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