"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!"

"How was jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? D'oh! Stupid poetic justice!"

"This home isn't secure at all. Intruders could come in down the chimney, through the mail slot... even hidden in your groceries."

"Uh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear power plant for 10 years, and, uh, I think I know how a proton accelerator works." "Well, please come down and show us." "All right. I will."

"Think you can get this car home?" "Sure thing, giant beer." "Ooh! Ow! Ow! Mother of mercy! Hey, this is kind of fun. Whee! Whee! Ow!"

"I'd like the phone book for Hokkaido, Japan, please." "Okay. Here you go. The phone book for Hokkaido, Japan." "Thank you. May I please use your phone?" "Is it a local call?" "Y... Yes."

"Cowabunga, dudes."

"I know you can read my thoughts, boy. ♪ Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ♪ ♪ Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow ♪"

"You're out there somewhere, beer baron, and I'll find you." 'No, you won't.' "Yes, I will.' "Won't."

"Well, you're certainly doing your job today, Mr. Sun. Oh, rats."

"Hey, that smells like regular. She needs premium, dude! Premium! Duuude!"

"Hey, why that sounds like Gabriel's trumpet. You know that means, kids." "Yay! Judgment day!"

"Mr. Simpson, the tar fumes are making me dizzy." "Yeah, they'll do that."

"Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride I say take it."

"Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?" "Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries."

"It's the Krusty burglar." "Oh, my God. He's stealing all the burgers! Why, you little! I've got you!" "Stop! Stop! He's already dead!"

"Here is a photo of the fugitive from our files."

"I am the lizard queen!"

"So, uh, you don't like the old-time bikes, huh?"

"Okay, look, I've done some bad things in my life, like one time we were having this race, with this stupid old-timey bicycle with the big wheel in front. So I figure, "We'll see about that." so I get this big chunk of cinder block, and I... Oh, got to go. Innocent. "

♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na, Leader ♪ ♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na, Leader ♪ ♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na, Leader ♪ ♪ Na-na-na-na-na-na, Leader ♪ ♪ Leader, leader, leader ♪ ♪ Batman! ♪

"Drederick, what do you think of Homer Simpson?" "I think he's a good man, I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children." "You know, they do have a mother, champ." "Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief."

"Halfback passes to center! Back to wing! Back to center! Center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!"

"Yo, paella man, wing one up here!"

"Hmm. Who's that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib." "Uh, Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your 11:00."

"I don't know, Dad. Don't you have a better picture?" "Relax. A photo can't make any difference." "He looks crazy." "Agreed."

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

♪ Stealing, stealing ♪ ♪ Stealing a car for Moe ♪ ♪ Da-da-da-da, da-da, da-da ♪ ♪ Insurance fraud today... ♪

"This is a pretzel town, pretty boy."

"Excuse me, little lady. The wheelbarrow line is over there."

"Sherman, I just realized, you insulted me. Now you will die." "Uh, hey, Nudnick, your shoe's untied." "From here, they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look."

"If I don't save the wee turtles, who will? Aah! Save me from the wee turtles. They were too quick for me. Aah!"

"And put your garbage in a garbage can, people. I can't stress that enough. Don't just throw it out the window." "Garbage in garbage can. Hmm, makes sense."

"OK, once more, where are we going?" "To Capitol City." "And why are you and the old lady in the car?" "We're gonna talk Armin into coming back." "And why is Marge here?" "I came up with the idea." "And why am I here?"

♪ The waiting is the hardest part ♪ ♪ Every day you get one more yard ♪ ♪ You take it on faith, you take it to the heart ♪ ♪ The waiting is the hardest part ♪ ♪ The waiting is the hardest ♪ ♪ Part ♪

"All right, Hans, time to go." "But he ate my last meal." "Well, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky." "Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?" "From this point on, no talking."

"Don't feel bad for losing. I was wrestling wolves back when you were at your mother's teat."

"Do your worst, protesters. You can't stop me from living my life." "You people aren't allowed in here." "It's okay. They're with me."

"Ah, you've done grand, laddie. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down!"

"Springfield has found its monorail conductor... Homer Simpson."

"Unky Moe?" "What... is it, sweetheart?" "My sodie is too cold. My teef hurt." "Your 'teef' hurt, huh? Your 'teef' hurt? Well, that's too freaking bad! Ya hear me? I'll tell you where you can put your freaking 'sodie' too!"

♪ See my vest ♪ ♪ See my vest ♪ ♪ Made from real gorilla chest ♪ ♪ Feel this sweater ♪ ♪ There's no better than authentic Irish setter ♪ ♪ See this hat, 'twas my cat ♪ ♪ My evening wear, vampire bat ♪

"Why do you mock me, O Lord?" "Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there."

"Look at all those worried faces... Except for Lenny. He looks great." "This is the worst day of my life."

'Otto, why don't you get some more gas? Here's the credit card." "Ooh." "And a mint for afterwards."

"Homer! For the love of God, no!" "Marge, you know that batting this light bulb is the only thing that cheers me up after giving away those million-dollar greyhounds."

"My name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic." "Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting." "Is it, or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?"

"Dr. Nick Riviera, remember me?" "Well, if it isn't my old friend Mr. McCraig, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg."