"Feel old yet?" No. I'm incredibly young and will always feel young.

SPOCK: you are being.. highly illogical ME (WATCHING TV): ok he's got you there kirk KIRK: but mr spock, mankind did not, endeavor to, reach out and, touch the stars, armed only with, cold hard logic, but driven, by our passionate impulsive, illogical humanity ME: hey yeah fuck you spock

"international law must be followed" is european for "thoughts and prayers"

I doubt must journalistic work will be done on this but I imagine Trump commited many faux pa's towards the wider international community while starting his illegal war

Everyone screamed when the coffin rolled over and spilled out the corpse at the funeral of Crazy Frog, but I won't lie... I was incredibly comforted to be able to see his penis one last time.

all those naughties guitar bands tried to warn us America was fucked up. And us Europeans just didn't listen

Went station spotting today and was lucky that Stratford International turned up

New years resolution to read Jane Austen maybe

you can't spell Urbane without bane (villain from batman)

so as you see sharks, by this logic, a dog made of diamonds should be a nonbinary persons best friend

Behind Montrose Ave. John Kasyn 1979

Every day I wake up and think "What would Gore Vidal tweet if he was in his early thirties and of my generation?" Then I get extremely drunk, take a high dose of barbiturates, forget about all that and post stuff like this instead.

The way to get into most guarded places is some form of deception or trickery. If you try using force like martial arts they almost always call the police who will wear you down in sheer numbers, no matter how good you may be at punching people

I hope whoever ends up murdering me isn’t very attractive.

Check out this ugly ass house

He had so many bangers but this is the one that left me completely unable to breathe the first time I read it

RIP Mike F, he made endless bangers but this is my favorite

That bit in Valis where a beam of light transmits extraterrestrial knowledge directly into a guys head but it's just SOPHIE's entire discography

continuing with email

I love sparkling water because sometimes what I really want is to be perfectly hydrated but also in a small amount of pain

This is beautiful

I DON'T CARE! I LOVE IT! (tesco)

MuM IS JUST WnW UPSIDE DOWN (doesn't work with capital N)

Looking for cool older Mom types. Not actual Moms. I already have a mother and have no interest in being a place-hold father figure, just looking for Mommy vibes.

Cumin'

This is an example of why AI is bad

This man showed up on his own knowyourmeme page for his 50th birthday and continued doing the meme without irony. You have no chance of ever defeating him.

Breaking news! Malignant narcissist pivots!!

A Hampton Inn in Asheville just canceled my family's reservation because our address (incorrectly) showed Asheville—and the hotel bars locals within 50 miles. When I asked why, they said, "because of our homeless population," adding that most hotels here have similar policies. This is outrageous.

Should I use this image to make an important point???

A very close friend who passed away's birthday was today. I left flowers out so someone could take them. I like to think someone might look at them and feel in a small way the warmth and happiness my friend gave me.

Historians: Quibbling Over Exact Definition Of Concentration Camp Sign Of Healthy Society https://theonion.com/historians-quibbling-over-exact-definition-of-concentration-camp-sign-of-healthy-society/

doctor choking you a little during your prostate exam

The algorithm knows when I'm mad at it and tries to apologise

Trying to explain to that tribe that worships Prince Philip that the royal family are a bunch of nonces.

Jesus trying to detransition me

Just checking everyone thought about baby Jesus yesterday

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

Look at these enormous idiot dogs in the backyard

beavers always tell you they "need to" bite trees cause it keeps their teeth "under control" and it's like, bro listen to yourself. that's the teeth talking

For Christmas I will be fixing America

Do you remember Betty Reid Soskin? She was the oldest serving National Park Ranger in the United States, we celebrated her retirement at the age of 100. Betty Reid Soskin (1921–2025) passed away on Sunday, but she lived an extraordinary life. “The answers are only temporary.” — Betty

'Tis the season.

Not now, haunted Victorian shoes