I live in the tri-state area (California, Nevada, and Idaho)

Sweating the fuck outta this text banking volunteer and I don’t even live in the city where this election is taking place.

My instagram algorithm has recently started showing me a lot of clips from the movie Norbit

The best thing about A Thousand Clowns (1965) is that Murray is apparently the only comedy writer in New York City and everyone is like “I know you hate my guts but please please write for my TV show 🙏🥺”

The only reason TV Party by Black Flag comes across as a satirical song is because TV fucking sucked back then.

Challenge: Spell Matthew Mcconneighheigh’s name without looking it up

Don’t tell me how to fucking feel, biblically accurate angel!

Slipknot was the best nu metal band because they had the most drummers. There’s actually no point at which adding more drummers to your band will stop improving it. It’s crazy that more bands don’t take advantage of this.

The “America shaped cruise ship” guy just flat out ignoring my DM, smh.

Desperately trying to myself ready for ascension but a little confused about what specifically I am supposed to do.

The democratic party is secretly paying influencers to say they like bam margera

Man thank god for oceans, otherwise there’d be no way to get back from space.

The US and Israel agreeing to a ceasefire:

Artemis II astronaut looking out the window and seeing a Salt & Straw on the moon: “Aw man, that spot used to be like, just two footprints next to a little American flag. This place has changed”

I hate the term “bisexual” It’s like, what are you? Are you twice a sex or are you every two sexes??? It matters which one is true! People should be able to tell!

If animals had the means, they would do war even worse than how we are doing it don’t act like these little guys are so innocent

With all the money they spend on war, they could make Rocket League real.

look, sometimes when people say they hate “cops”, they mean “women”.

the best part of the hobbit prequels is the scene where you get to see the orcs initially taking meat off the menu

Guy who only follows social media accounts from people who post all day about wanting to blow the Montucky cold snack horse: “Things used to be better, but now we live in a world where everyone wants to blow the Montucky cold snack horse, there is no point to keep living.”

I’m walking my picket line and the security guard at the gate has a bluetooth speaker on him and he’s standing next to us blasting a podcast about gangstalking and directed energy weapons

sorry everyone, my ant-pill supplier got busted, if you’re holding any you might wanna start rationing

i’m a triple threat: i have three knives

cottage cheese is just feta that has already been partially digested and regurgitated by mother

A cop just saw me in an Op Ivy t shirt and pulled up to me to tell me how much he loves them. My life is ruined.

fuck that I need a sports drink that’s got electroheavies

Under US hegemony global south nations can only be client states or failed states.

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

I feel the need…. The need to have peed.

Your day has been “fine” but have you watched this video of Peter Claffey doing a Stewie Griffin impression?

I just found out about double-reverse elite gender inversion theory. You hear about this shit? They’re transphobing themselves into accidental allies over on xtheeverythingappblazeyourglory

polka is the only genre of music that has it’s own dots

Staff at the Writers Guild of America picketed outside the Writers Guild of America West headquarters, but say this strike won't shut down Hollywood production for over 100 days as the guild's previous strike did in 2023, as there's a key difference.

If you even care, after a year of organizing alongside my coworkers and six months of bargaining, I am on strike, over retaliatory firings and surface bargaining from my employer. The funny part is that my employer is a union ✌️

You might observe, and observe correctly at that, that if Democrats allow for the criminalization of anarchist speech today, Republicans will come for democrat speech tomorrow. And this is true. But it won't stop Democrats from supporting the criminalization of anarchist speech.

If you are one of the scientists who championed the cause of not referring to apes as “monkeys”, just know that you will be despised by history, and your putrid taxonomic ideas will die with you.

Whoever keeps posting these flyers outside my work is contributing more to the discourse than any of you

if someone ever angrily shook their fist in the air at me while i ran off, i would be so ashamed. i would start crying and i’d go back and apologize to them.

its cool how there's never been a single quality justification for restrictive borders for civilians in history

is that “thing” from the lauryn hill song the same thing from the john carpenter movie?

The intersection of anti-vax eugenics and racist mass-kidnapping is industrial murder via forced infection.

Tom Waits, Lemmy Kilmister, Billie Joe Armstrong, & Prince

a cat account would never say something like this

I cant verify if this anecdote is true but if so, very funny comparison of what kinds of flags Dylan Carlson considers a deal breaker vs what flags he doesn’t.

real stupid of humans to evolve from chimpanzees instead of orangutans, that’s where we fucked up

I feel so betrayed by luigi now that it seems like he didnt do it. how dare he

Lyonel Baratheon invented the mosh pit