With all the money they spend on war, they could make Rocket League real.

look, sometimes when people say they hate “cops”, they mean “women”.

(Running for President) “LOL people say I look like Ramsay Bolton, pretty cool huh?”

‪My son, Brittonic is so based that he will go into a women’s lingerie store and demand to be sold weightlifting equipment, and when they try to explain to him that they dont sell those there‬, he will appear very confused, and get into a loop of angrily repeating himself.

the best part of the hobbit prequels is the scene where you get to see the orcs initially taking meat off the menu

Guy who only follows social media accounts from people who post all day about wanting to blow the Montucky cold snack horse: “Things used to be better, but now we live in a world where everyone wants to blow the Montucky cold snack horse, there is no point to keep living.”

I’m walking my picket line and the security guard at the gate has a bluetooth speaker on him and he’s standing next to us blasting a podcast about gangstalking and directed energy weapons

sorry everyone, my ant-pill supplier got busted, if you’re holding any you might wanna start rationing

i’m a triple threat: i have three knives

cottage cheese is just feta that has already been partially digested and regurgitated by mother

A cop just saw me in an Op Ivy t shirt and pulled up to me to tell me how much he loves them. My life is ruined.

fuck that I need a sports drink that’s got electroheavies

Under US hegemony global south nations can only be client states or failed states.

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

I feel the need…. The need to have peed.

Your day has been “fine” but have you watched this video of Peter Claffey doing a Stewie Griffin impression?

I just found out about double-reverse elite gender inversion theory. You hear about this shit? They’re transphobing themselves into accidental allies over on xtheeverythingappblazeyourglory

polka is the only genre of music that has it’s own dots

Staff at the Writers Guild of America picketed outside the Writers Guild of America West headquarters, but say this strike won't shut down Hollywood production for over 100 days as the guild's previous strike did in 2023, as there's a key difference.

If you even care, after a year of organizing alongside my coworkers and six months of bargaining, I am on strike, over retaliatory firings and surface bargaining from my employer. The funny part is that my employer is a union ✌️

You might observe, and observe correctly at that, that if Democrats allow for the criminalization of anarchist speech today, Republicans will come for democrat speech tomorrow. And this is true. But it won't stop Democrats from supporting the criminalization of anarchist speech.

If you are one of the scientists who championed the cause of not referring to apes as “monkeys”, just know that you will be despised by history, and your putrid taxonomic ideas will die with you.

Whoever keeps posting these flyers outside my work is contributing more to the discourse than any of you

if someone ever angrily shook their fist in the air at me while i ran off, i would be so ashamed. i would start crying and i’d go back and apologize to them.

its cool how there's never been a single quality justification for restrictive borders for civilians in history

is that “thing” from the lauryn hill song the same thing from the john carpenter movie?

The intersection of anti-vax eugenics and racist mass-kidnapping is industrial murder via forced infection.

Tom Waits, Lemmy Kilmister, Billie Joe Armstrong, & Prince

a cat account would never say something like this

I cant verify if this anecdote is true but if so, very funny comparison of what kinds of flags Dylan Carlson considers a deal breaker vs what flags he doesn’t.

real stupid of humans to evolve from chimpanzees instead of orangutans, that’s where we fucked up

I feel so betrayed by luigi now that it seems like he didnt do it. how dare he

Lyonel Baratheon invented the mosh pit

God i hate to glaze a fucking politician like this but i just saw the video of Ilhan getting sprayed with the liquid and she immediately charges at the guy and winds up to throw a punch its pretty sick.

elected dems: "we just want to return to the sane, competent immigration enforcement that we had under president biden" [the immigration enforcement we had under president biden]

i don’t think the US government has ever looked weaker than it has while talking about Alex Pretti

I don't want to stop with Bovino, or with Noem, or with Miller, or with Bondi, Vance, or Trump. I want this entire fake fucking issue of immigration to go away.

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

"As many as 1,360 children have never been reunited with their parents six years after the United States government forcibly separated them at the US border to deter migrants."

I’m not being a “doomer” when I say that the moon isn’t made of cheese, I’m just suggesting that if you’re gonna go there, maybe you should pack a cheese lunch

America is not only evil, it is *the most evil* entity to exist since it came to a power in a time where we could solve scarcity and squalor with our productive forces and then murdered hundreds of millions to make sure that can never happen. Fuck this place forever it needs to die

Battlebots would be the biggest sport in the world if they made the robots like ten feet tall.

There is auld lang syne and there is bauld lang syne, but there is no auld bauld lang syne.

But the best course of action is to be quiet and play nice, right Tim?

When I get old I won’t have a yard or anything nice to be a fuddy duddy about so I’ll have to be like: “the damn kids are running amok in my mentions again!”

Going to a wine tasting and carrying myself like I’m the fanciest one there, and loudly proclaiming that every wine tastes “like grapes”.

SHOUT THIS FROM EVERY ROOFTOP. This is just policing, period. More overt in some ways. Most cops at least prefer to do state violence where they aren't going to be easily seen. But no real difference. Same rotten roots of the same rotten tree with rotten apples galore. There is no fixing this.