Matt Olson
@metalson.bsky.social
📤 657
📥 333
📝 5002
Freelance marine biologist, stoner doom metal zealot. Parody account, not the real @metalson
pinned post!
I hope whoever ends up murdering me isn’t very attractive.
8 months ago
5
11
2
I live in the tri-state area (California, Nevada, and Idaho)
3 days ago
0
0
0
Sweating the fuck outta this text banking volunteer and I don’t even live in the city where this election is taking place.
4 days ago
0
1
0
My instagram algorithm has recently started showing me a lot of clips from the movie Norbit
5 days ago
0
1
1
The best thing about A Thousand Clowns (1965) is that Murray is apparently the only comedy writer in New York City and everyone is like “I know you hate my guts but please please write for my TV show 🙏🥺”
5 days ago
0
0
0
The only reason TV Party by Black Flag comes across as a satirical song is because TV fucking sucked back then.
6 days ago
0
0
0
Challenge: Spell Matthew Mcconneighheigh’s name without looking it up
7 days ago
0
0
0
Don’t tell me how to fucking feel, biblically accurate angel!
9 days ago
0
3
1
Slipknot was the best nu metal band because they had the most drummers. There’s actually no point at which adding more drummers to your band will stop improving it. It’s crazy that more bands don’t take advantage of this.
12 days ago
1
2
1
The “America shaped cruise ship” guy just flat out ignoring my DM, smh.
14 days ago
0
1
0
Desperately trying to myself ready for ascension but a little confused about what specifically I am supposed to do.
add a skeleton here at some point
15 days ago
0
1
0
The democratic party is secretly paying influencers to say they like bam margera
about 1 month ago
0
1
0
Man thank god for oceans, otherwise there’d be no way to get back from space.
about 1 month ago
0
2
0
The US and Israel agreeing to a ceasefire:
about 1 month ago
0
3
0
Artemis II astronaut looking out the window and seeing a Salt & Straw on the moon: “Aw man, that spot used to be like, just two footprints next to a little American flag. This place has changed”
about 1 month ago
0
1
0
I hate the term “bisexual” It’s like, what are you? Are you twice a sex or are you every two sexes??? It matters which one is true! People should be able to tell!
about 2 months ago
1
2
0
If animals had the means, they would do war even worse than how we are doing it don’t act like these little guys are so innocent
about 2 months ago
0
1
0
With all the money they spend on war, they could make Rocket League real.
about 2 months ago
0
1
0
look, sometimes when people say they hate “cops”, they mean “women”.
about 2 months ago
0
1
0
the best part of the hobbit prequels is the scene where you get to see the orcs initially taking meat off the menu
2 months ago
0
0
0
Guy who only follows social media accounts from people who post all day about wanting to blow the Montucky cold snack horse: “Things used to be better, but now we live in a world where everyone wants to blow the Montucky cold snack horse, there is no point to keep living.”
2 months ago
0
1
0
I’m walking my picket line and the security guard at the gate has a bluetooth speaker on him and he’s standing next to us blasting a podcast about gangstalking and directed energy weapons
2 months ago
0
1
0
sorry everyone, my ant-pill supplier got busted, if you’re holding any you might wanna start rationing
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
0
1
0
reposted by
Matt Olson
Standplaats KrakĂłw could really use some cash!
2 months ago
7
956
336
i’m a triple threat: i have three knives
2 months ago
0
1
0
cottage cheese is just feta that has already been partially digested and regurgitated by mother
2 months ago
0
0
0
A cop just saw me in an Op Ivy t shirt and pulled up to me to tell me how much he loves them. My life is ruined.
2 months ago
1
1
0
fuck that I need a sports drink that’s got electroheavies
2 months ago
0
0
0
reposted by
Matt Olson
Curb Your Malthusiasm
3 months ago
Under US hegemony global south nations can only be client states or failed states.
0
14
6
reposted by
Matt Olson
Tim Onion
3 months ago
We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.
loading . . .
US-Israeli strike on girls' school kills at least 85 students, Iran's judiciary says
At least 85 students have been killed in US-Israeli strikes that hit an Iranian girls' school in Hormozgan province, Iran's judiciary said on Saturday. Washington has not commented on the reported str...
https://www.france24.com/en/asia-pacific/20260228-us-israeli-strike-on-iranian-school-kills-more-than-50-students-state-media-says
464
16976
7040
I feel the need…. The need to have peed.
3 months ago
0
0
0
Your day has been “fine” but have you watched this video of Peter Claffey doing a Stewie Griffin impression?
loading . . .
3 months ago
0
1
0
I just found out about double-reverse elite gender inversion theory. You hear about this shit? They’re transphobing themselves into accidental allies over on xtheeverythingappblazeyourglory
3 months ago
0
1
0
polka is the only genre of music that has it’s own dots
3 months ago
1
0
0
reposted by
Matt Olson
Reuters
3 months ago
Staff at the Writers Guild of America picketed outside the Writers Guild of America West headquarters, but say this strike won't shut down Hollywood production for over 100 days as the guild's previous strike did in 2023, as there's a key difference.
loading . . .
0
44
17
If you even care, after a year of organizing alongside my coworkers and six months of bargaining, I am on strike, over retaliatory firings and surface bargaining from my employer. The funny part is that my employer is a union ✌️
3 months ago
0
2
0
reposted by
Matt Olson
strigix
3 months ago
You might observe, and observe correctly at that, that if Democrats allow for the criminalization of anarchist speech today, Republicans will come for democrat speech tomorrow. And this is true. But it won't stop Democrats from supporting the criminalization of anarchist speech.
1
24
5
If you are one of the scientists who championed the cause of not referring to apes as “monkeys”, just know that you will be despised by history, and your putrid taxonomic ideas will die with you.
3 months ago
0
1
0
Whoever keeps posting these flyers outside my work is contributing more to the discourse than any of you
3 months ago
7
92
18
if someone ever angrily shook their fist in the air at me while i ran off, i would be so ashamed. i would start crying and i’d go back and apologize to them.
3 months ago
0
1
0
reposted by
Matt Olson
vanoreo
4 months ago
its cool how there's never been a single quality justification for restrictive borders for civilians in history
1
192
16
is that “thing” from the lauryn hill song the same thing from the john carpenter movie?
4 months ago
1
6
3
reposted by
Matt Olson
John Muller
4 months ago
The intersection of anti-vax eugenics and racist mass-kidnapping is industrial murder via forced infection.
1
44
13
Tom Waits, Lemmy Kilmister, Billie Joe Armstrong, & Prince
4 months ago
0
1
0
a cat account would never say something like this
4 months ago
0
0
0
I cant verify if this anecdote is true but if so, very funny comparison of what kinds of flags Dylan Carlson considers a deal breaker vs what flags he doesn’t.
add a skeleton here at some point
4 months ago
0
1
0
real stupid of humans to evolve from chimpanzees instead of orangutans, that’s where we fucked up
4 months ago
0
0
0
I feel so betrayed by luigi now that it seems like he didnt do it. how dare he
4 months ago
0
0
0
Lyonel Baratheon invented the mosh pit
4 months ago
0
0
0
Load more
feeds!
log in