Red Panda thirst trap

Life hack assumes having a life

NOOOO I THOUGHT WE WERE ABOUT TO WATCH THE PLURIBUS FINALE BUT IT TURNS OUT LAST WEEK WAS THE FINALE 😭😭😭 im so sad lol

What a fun day. Gathering evidence over the last year for showing a concerted campaign by my ex of parental alienation and psychology abuse. Not triggering at all.

idk why they call it seasonal depression when it doesn't add any flavor to your life

Looking over my left shoulder, I see Mom staring at me, knuckles white on the handle of her cart. I turn my head to find Nana behind the avocados, glaring. My heart pounding, I raise a hand towards the shelf. A bead of sweat falls from my forehead, hitting the floor with a splat.

Some people have seemed confused about what my Low Quality Facts account is, so I made this graph to help you all understand it.

The steaks can't be higher...

Honey, I Sacrificed the Kids

“The perfect chew toy doesn’t exi…”

i mean, I have a name. Geez!!!

OMG I am so dehydrated

When your dad is tired of throwing the ball

there is a true nap and a false nap. the false nap is scheduled. a true nap must be taken when necessary. the false nap is timed. a true nap must be unfettered. the false nap's goal is to return to work. a true nap's goal is to play within the mind

Better fondue than fondont.

My favorite book to read to my daughter

I asked my partner what she thought of my attempt at a joke; I have never seen her freeze before, in fact she stuttered.

I sure can change my charge very quickly for someone who is shockingly static

Introduce yourself with what almost killed you Hi, we are a species of wasp that fucked you up big twice in 30 days. That second time your body freaked out and went into anaphylactic shock. If it wasn't for a bunch of different people being nice we would have gotten you.

@badposter.lol why is there an HDMI port on my triangle?

no matter where we go we litter

read the follow on reply too

No cheating, reskeet with the most recent photo of your pet

Is this my penance for bringing up gooch grease?

Is this anything besides trouble

all the gay butterflies come to my yard

BECOME UNGOVERNABLE

Name a non-LotR character who could resist the One Ring

everybody stand back while we spit in god's face:

Starts officially tomorrow.

I have missing notifications from during the outage yesterday. Sorry if I haven't responded or liked a reply.

ive never made a starter pack, but these are my tightest homies of the year so this list is the next best thing. thank you for making my year happy and hilarious. a forehead kiss for each of you

Look at this piece i made of the beautiful @vtbee80.bsky.social

whoever is on shift for the truffle us east bsky server is having a bad New Year's Eve

I missed you all 😱

There should be a secret follow just for watching the drama and poor decisions. Like trash TV.

This coat isn't doing my fit justice. I should go shopping.

My cuffing partner is amazing

I am trapped, send help

I wonder if smearing colored clay on a canvas is a thing

what's the R0 of ignorance or maybe it's willful ignorance

Thinking of better days in the future

why does it cost $500 to fix a toilet

Confused colleague: what ARE you on?? Me: the spectrum

My boss found my voodoo doll of him in the mailroom

Me: This looks like a problem for the next guy, heh Also me, the next guy: Goddamnit, I live with jerks

I will contain my shit (see picture)

Beach Fun