this is what I listen to when I study the blade

I keep a walking tamale in my office drawer

I hate it when my dick stays flatulent

I suck at hardening

Saying mechanic like mick-a-nick

saying protein like supine

posterior -> superior pasta -> supsta semantic satiation

Congrats to Gargamel for not being in the Epstein files

he doesn’t have thumbs, only nipples

I think the only barrier I have broken through is a placenta

ooowoh, that was two too many cookies

Im Rick James, bitch.

New nerd badge unlocked I just learned the word frugivore

Are there other types of creants than the mis variety?

“Maryland could see anywhere from—“ *checks notes* “1.3 inches to 22 inches of snowfall tomorrow.”

Five authors I’ve read at least five books by Peter F Hamilton David Brin Robert Jordan Alastair Reynolds Stephen R. Donaldson

7 Habits of Highly Effective Shitposters

Indeed! gwenny pepp

can't, I'm super bad

i didn’t get a high five at the gallows, got left hanging

Hey look I made a starter pack! If you don’t follow these accounts, your Bluesky experience will be underwhelming. Is that what you want? Is it?? go.bsky.app/NqK4crn

The Gen X urge to not sleep till Brooklyn

think about what it would smell like for a repost

my finger smells funny after liking your posts

Giving up ils for Lent

Dollars to doughnuts no one that knows them was surprised

Giving up dryer for Lent

The Muppet Giant

We need to stop telling people to never change It's good and healthy for people to change and it should be encouraged and rewarded

It's personal

Do all cows have a second jaw inside their mouths

Even turtle dudes suck

who the fuck are you (respectfully)

5 things I like and 5 oomfs to do the same 1. funky music 2. gardening 3. altered states 4. banter 5. delicious drinks @bbkittyfck.bsky.social @emceekayvee.bsky.social @blerrycat1.bsky.social @gregthemiller.bsky.social @trashphalt.beauty

I should call her

who up pumping their syrup

who up jockeying their position

who up pinging their pong

Excavation starts in two weeks for my son's bedroom Sounds like I'm a hobbit

If you see this post rabbit.

The guy has a Wilford brimley vibe to him

Leaning tower better watch its ass

Are you fucking kidding me? How does the funniest person on here not have 5k followers? If you don't follow @bbkittyfck.bsky.social do it. NOW.

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I feel like he's going to eat an ear off your head raw

@bbkittyfck.bsky.social you have menacing turkeys don't you?

nape of your neck

Maybe I am your penis

Exhausted and dehydrated, I slowly walk the last few steps. “This has to be it,” I think to myself. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and turn the handle, whispering a little prayer as I step through. I open my eyes and the last trickle of hope leaks away. I am still in IKEA.