So tomorrow, I start back at my old part time job. I havent worked there in over 2 years, but they're saying "fuck it" and just throwing me back into it without updated training. Let's see how quickly I end up in the weeds.

Dear diary, I discovered a new fat roll today…

You guys remember Shark Bites? And there was a special one with a mystery flavor

Add a letter, ruin your mom. Wait. I did that wrong. Unlike your mom.

Where is Friday? JFC. Anyway, today's shout out is to @yourcatbuttface.bsky.social (wtf is up with that handle btw)? Nice to see you figured out your password issue and you didn't have to do a complete overhaul. I hope you enjoy the rest of your week!

500 likes and I'll call out tomorrow and get day drunk and play video games

To quote @grrreee.bsky.social it’s game day bitches #sabres

Part deux

Hey, people need more didapponging these days and less arguing on the Internet, don't you think?

Have you seen the size of those pho bowls?

Scungle😆

@los-los.bsky.social You will no longer be disappointed in me. Moving forward, you will be didapponged in me. (And Im realizing how incredibly dirty this sounds. Fuck it, post).

Oh shit. It's getting late and I almost forgot my personal shoutout to @buffalomatt.bsky.social! I wish I could watch the hockey games with you and the rest of the fan base, but we will always have the #Bills. Thank you for spending the season with me and here's to hoping for a SB appearance in Feb!

I am Flava Flav's arch nemesis, Blandy Bland.

Let me get this straight. There's a dog called a shit zoo?

‘Seed oil’? How many fucking words for cum do you people need. on God

I don’t trust anyone but I still want to hold hands with someone.

🤣

I'm pretty sure if you're sitting on the porcelain princess you are shooting skeet.

What’s your sign? This is mine, was tired of almost being hit by cars

I dont know anything about this dude. Is this a good signing #BillsMafia?

Made a taco salad. Too much salad. Not enough taco

What's your sign?

I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.

What's your sign?

You seem the type to wear a lifejacket every time you eat soup.

On this International Women's Day, I blocked someone for incessant messaging (to my standards anyway). I DONT talk to ANYONE every day. Unless we are dating, its unnecessary. Dang.

For this year’s International Women’s Day, let me put it as simply as possible: Men should be glad we want equality — not revenge.

Happy international women's day. Pay it forward by leaving them alone, they don't want to see your boner or hear you call them girlie.

Drop something BLUE

I did a crunch today... It was a Nestlé...

International Women, the favoured women of Mr. Worldwide

You are trapped in the last TV show you watched. Where are you?

on international women’s day we should be able to kick two men in the balls with no questions asked

Happy birthday @alldolledup44.bsky.social! I hope you have an amazing day!

*picks up old bottle from open, reads nessage* Im trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty

Happy International Women’s 23 Hours. Get used to earning less than your male counterparts, sweetheart. Now smile dammit, you are so much prettier when you smile.

international women’s day so it’s MY turn to leave wet towels on the floor

one less hour on international women’s day for me to be wrong about something

international women’s day

You can tell because the US took an hour away from it

Happy international women’s day to all the women! I look forward to dancing naked under the moonlight with you tonight

me: what the fuck? the fuck: I didn’t say anything

We can do it all, and get treated not even second class, but no class. Today is for all of us women to be recognized and Im proud to be a strong woman. And men, if youre too fragile to celebrate even one day for/with us, take a long walk off of a short pier. We are picking the bear anyway 🐻

No matter what your religion is, your height, weight, what you wear, your sexuality, skin colour or your job title, you are & always will be a strong, powerful woman. Don’t let anyone tell you differently 💜 #InternationalWomensDay

Oven clock, we meet again.

I went out with a girl whose left breast was made of timber. Just kidding. That would be ridiculous, wooden tit?