dragging bags of trash up to the old wardrobe in my attic and tossing them into narnia

The towel was all bunched up and half in the shower and it looked like someone poking their head in and I freaked myself out

Tumbler Ridge is a small planned resource community, a winding 90 minute drive from the nearest city of at least 10,000 people. A massive number of people are going to descend there tomorrow. May those that arrive have respect and grace for the unimaginable grief.

It was Tupac and Biggie

I’m saving money this year by stealing

I should call him

2000: Using code words on the phone incase the cops are listening 2026: Paying to be surveilled inside your own home/neighbourhood

I need an Olympic Curler to come and clean my kitchen floor

Not Offing Myself

Watters: I was walking in my street, a car drives by and I give him a wave. He rolls down the window and says, “F U fascist.” He doesn’t know I’m a fascist! Jessica: Yes, he does. You’re on TV.

If I disappear, check Whistler. I was last seen with @pmg2point0.bsky.social

Fluid bonding with @pmg2point0.bsky.social (aka spitting in his mouth)

bet curling feels real good if you're the stone

Idle hands are the devil’s somethings something

The cover for Billy Joel’s single Tell Her About It looks like it’s from an ad campaign about informing your partners you have an STD

the use of performance enhancing drugs by olympic athletes is getting out of hand

Threateningly:

I love how we all decided the lines on the road mean nothing before 9 am

ain't no rule that says a dog can't compete in Alpine Ski

School zone

Chicken McNuggets come in 4 distinct shapes, each representing a different cast member of the Golden Girls

Why do we need drafts. What are you saving it for?

Yawn

I already have a full time job, it’s called anxiety

A shoe

If you really loved her, you’d roll the blunt in rose petals

What’s made out of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

My tummy hurts come get me

I wish GG Allin had lived and gone full MAGA so I could watch old republican white ladies pretend to like it when he sang Bite It You Scum and threw shit at them

If you haven’t already planned something you’re fucked now 💋🔥

what the hell is going on? tonight, we break it down for white people.

Remember when everyone hated the Macarena because it wasn't in English

i need to be lightly clobbered about the head with a shovel

Haven't heard from PMG since last night when he won some money on the Super Bowl, kicked me in the crotch and said "Now I can prove the moon is cum!"

I liked these two guys grinding their d’s together in the door of the truck Bad Bunny was dancing on top of. Get it kings!

I don’t know how you’re gonna beat this for Valentines Day

Fine I’m up stop yelling

I think I love you?

Seattle Seahawks win the bad Bunny concert! 🎉🎉

Why is that other guy still rapping about chicks with beepers

The wedding during Bad Bunny’s halftime show was real?!!

What are we watching now?

I should have studied more. That’s on me.

Did I just see toilets singing Phil Collins?

My favorite part about sports is when they get to watch slow ball footage to see if the ball was in an okay place

This is Link’s brother… Rink

🎶 unlike my butt 🎶 (to the melody of Unbreak My Heart)

Game hasn’t even started and @pmg2point0.bsky.social is black out drunk ranting about the moon

chickpeas? i sure hope she does

@pmg2point0.bsky.social I’m bring Pot Pie