Please don't be super hot and a moron, that makes me sad

Oh we’re fucking through a hole in a sheet again? Not around here partner.

Me and my friends would've killed Jimothy with hammers I can tell you that much

I’m sorry everyone. I’m sorry. My bad.

When he has hand tattoos and a court date

😊🫛

You ruined the garden centre for me

Full Metal Jacket. The fact that I turned out a cross between Pvt Pyle and a Da Nang hooker is just a coincidence.

I would feel bad about the wildfire smoke travelling south if it weren't for the ongoing dumpster fire smoke from there circumnavigating the globe.

I’ve never been to Big Way

Thunder!

Boys are stupid. Ask me how.

Things you might say in a strip club

It smells like upbabyiloveyou in here

The only thing this guy eats is food

We’ve had this conversation 17 times this year @pmg2point0.bsky.social

This is Willing. She recently learned that sitting gets her a treat and now follows her human around popping a squat every few feet. Can't blame her for being an overachiever. 12/10 (TT: adoptdurham)

Where can I get a bunch of US produce real quick

they keep saying how many cases of diarrhea but how much diarrhea fits in each case?

Finally saw a dick pic where he blurred out his tattoos

He's so jealous of the tits

The morning after recap with @pmg2point0.bsky.social (this should be the podcast)

Do you think the babies of influencers wonder why their parents are talking to no one

Chemtrails

He's a 10, but the scale goes to 100.

In a zoom call sweating cause I had to put on pants. 0/10.

I’ve yet to talk to anyone in this ball pit with a coherent world view.

if I die do NOT give my sister my fucking job or believe me you're gonna regret it

They're only keeping McConnell alive because he's pregnant

When you fuck with me you should know I work for Santa.

I done done it

The ideal male living space

I’m starved for new and interesting people. But you guys are great.

Feeling pretty smug about never using my tanning membership in 90s

The ideal male living space

You have to take up a hobby from your teen years. What are you doing?

I’m getting tired of your shit. You don’t ever buy me nothing.

You dealing with a thug that's quick to kick the diamond Rollie. Pay no attention to these boyfriends 'cause I leave him holy. Fuck I’m bored.

I love when a man has a hobby he doesn’t make you participate in 🥰

Volume up 🔊

When he tells you to bounce on it

Waited too long and the bracelet I wanted is gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Smoggies, Smoggies, Smokey, oily, greasy

Do you think all that fucked up shit we saw online in the 90s has anything to do with us reading romance novels about fucking lint traps?

If male bodies are stronger why don’t they carry the babies

Failing in ways I will only truly understand 5-10 years from now