bluesky gets my trash

Oh hell yeah, these jerseys are absolutely sick sauce 🔥🔥🔥

remember, shooting priests isn’t an attack on Christianity but Starbucks cups that aren’t red are.

the #Canucks better sign prospect Blaze Razorwind. #NHL

Me when my wife said she wants to eat Mexican tonight (I’m on the right)

Me sleeping peacefully after making my wife wear the giant purple dildo on her head and do unspeakable things to me with it

How old I feel when wife doesn’t understand my Simpsons references but who cares because this penor ain’t gonna suck itself

TFW some hag catches you in the Richmond Centre parking lot

So they’re going to call them loonies too?

So they’re going to call them loonies too?

My entire existence on BlueSky

TFW you’re sending all the signals to your Christian neighbour to destroy your atheist shit pipe

me butt fucking some small dad missionary in an A&W parking lot in broad daylight

me parenting even though I’m not in BC but my kids are hopefully too dumb to realize

Me 8 seconds after sending @grillcheezkilla.bsky.social clues

If only I had an alt account for all this vag humour I come up with

When all of my normie duopolistic coworkers didn’t like my Charlie Kirk conspiracy theories and now I’m going home feeling like an idiot.

I…. Do they…. Alright.

when you’re doing everything you can to distract your toddler from nicking your sugar

tfw your neighbour kicks you out after ploughing you and hands you back the smelly pipe he just degraded you with.

Her: I’m in the backyard, come home and I’ll let you do anything you want to me. Me: no way José! Her: I’ll let you talk about Thomas Müller Me:

when the guy we met at the bar couldn’t handle the noises I make on the cuck chair

When you just used a ladder to watch Ned and Maude Flanders fuck, and you need to have a lay-down and let the dog drink your piss.

me watching Mr. Hands death video on repeat at full volume at 12:06am while my wife is trying to sleep

me after my wife reminds me I have to take our kid to some birthday party tomorrow and small talk with fucktards

When it’s #FCF

when I get home from work and immediately try to give myself head (it never works)

when you’re so far left and believe in realllllllly late abortions

when you pulled too long of a shift inside the glory hole at the Richmond Night Market

when the whiskey starts tasting like you need to go on Twitter and tell MAGA bots they 69 their dad.

these Epsteins distractions are becoming so costly for Americans

me in heaven hospital after getting my back blown out by Elvis and 2pac

me when I was 8

TFW everything’s coming up zesty Italian

when you do the old popcorn trick on the date, and then forget an hour later

when your son is suddenly blind so you feed him a pile of fucking rats

when you’ve been camping for 3 straight days with no showers and she wants to have a go in the tent

There is no league on earth more swagged out than the NHL

I can’t decide which app to weirder on

That’s marble cheese

Girls: Hair perfect ✅ Nails manicured ✅ Other hair trimmed ✅ Makeup too expensive ✅ Guys: that’s cool and all but just FYI I’d also fuck a pile of trash missionary

when that ghost you’ve been noticing doesn’t like your tone so he decides to bring you upstairs and fuck your brains out

when they ask if you’re bringing back in alcohol or tobacco and you say no, and they find a vape and you correctly say it’s not tobacco