My favorite thing is when you stop petting a dog and they put their paw on your arm like, "we're not done here."

the realest part of The Metamorphosis is how on top of everything he is still expected to show up at the office somehow

God this poem is haunting me again.

The rest of the world should probably collectively stand up to the U.S. right now, tbh

“Yeah, I’m not doing that” is a powerful statement.

442/1461

It really blows my mind that for my entire life, folks struggling to get by have to eat gruel and wear burlap sacks in order to "deserve" any kind of assistance, but we've got more billionaires than ever before and are gonna have trillionaires soon enough.

I am ugly crying please give the horse some cake

This is what being "against DEI" has always meant.

the last time I spoke on this man I had dudes in my Twitter replies threading to SA me

don't even talk to me about sports if you haven't prayed for god to kill your coach

Why would I use "AI," I actually know how to fucking write

Excuse me but some of us are fools all year round.

Oh my god WE NEED THIS

Those who can, do. Those who can't, use AI.

Pete Hegseth’s Department of War seems to be especially interested in murdering girls. Just an observation.

the solution to "not wanting to write" is the same as the solution to roughly 90% of problems writers face: you knuckle the fuck down and write. there is no short-cut that will make you better at your job. just do it.

mavis beacon did not teach you typing so you could make such terrible posts

I know there’s a LOT going on rn but — anyone have any shoulder exercises to ensure my tote bag stops slipping down my goddamned arms

Motherfuckers still saying “let that sink in” like we aren’t already living in the sewers under Atlantis.

Funny thing about American mass media is how woke content is broadly popular, routinely pays for itself, and sometimes goes blockbuster, whereas right-wing content is a narrow niche that rarely reaches breakeven, never goes blockbuster, and usually requires immense subsidies for it to exist at all.

okay so AI is absolutely cratering imminently and I need all of you to PROMISE me you won't take the high road, and will laugh and rub it in their faces as much as possible. I need you to laugh and go 'WE TOLD YOU SO, BITCH" at every opportunity, PLEASE be extremely mean and ruthless

happy 25th Anniverary of Randy Johnson Killed A Bird That One Time Day to all who celebrate www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih_o...

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

The question that broke America fundamentally was ‘do all people deserve basic rights?’ This question was too hard for us. Too hard for our leadership. It still is. So now all of our rights are in jeopardy.

REMINDER: THE USPS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A BUSINESS THAT IS MAKING MONEY. IT IS A CONSTITUTIONALLY PROTECTED ENTITY FOR THE PEOPLE.

Sagittarius: We are all stardust but you have an abnormally high lint content too.

Ok I’ve stayed silent for far too long Iris isn’t even the best Goo Goo Dolls song it’s Slide

oh hell yes, had kalshi getting charged before april on polymarket at +2500

this implies the existence of jesse plemonade

Mentally I’m here

The gift of prophecy is for the chosen few

Autocorrect is getting a little too bold … mind your business and let me spell shit incorrectly before you timidly display 3 options for what you think I was trying to type

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

this is actually how my cursed Online brain read the post

Now more than ever I’m convinced losing Anthony Bourdain meant we lost probably the biggest person on tv who advocated for the wonders of meeting new people and calling anyone online who hated learning new cultures the children they were, ruthlessly to the camera.

Every story I read about Rahm Emanuel running for president

T god for the Vibe Check podcast — they always have such good blocks and I LOVE hearing a poem at the end of a podcast

It is time for Senator Blake Griffin (D-OK).

i don't know how to teach people to be more curious but i think that's what we desperately need

How to win in November

everyone is fighting a battle you can't see because you are the only one without cool invisible wizard powers

Guys I just checked — nothing good on the internet today. Let’s all go outside instead

I think about this Tony Benn speech much more than I used to

Called my reps before 9am to remind them to do their fucking jobs and got a donut. This is adulthood!

Very well dressed woman chasing down a Coco delivery robot yelling "I hate that thing. I'm going to fucking kill it" while her partner yells limply behind her "baby no you're gonna get sued"