When will I find a house boy that makes me dishes that look this good 😩

All of these are policies they're already supposed to be following. So why would anyone believe they'll start following them in exchange for DHS funding. I mean, come on. The proper response to "We won't deport U.S. citizens if you fund DHS" is, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

wow we are arriving at the exact situation every single person imagined within one second of seeing their first robot dog

Celebrating St. Paddy’s day in a culturally competent way! (Just Irish exited a birthday party because the Uber arrived faster than expected)

I don’t respect holidays that lack the power to give anyone the day off

NEW: Jeffries may face a fight to become speaker in '27 even if Dems take the House More Dem candidates tell @axios.com their vote is not a given. "He's been failing to meet the moment," one told me Said another: "I cannot support this kind of leadership" www.axios.com/2026/03/16/h...

Convinced someone started a rumor there was nasty pig discourse and we just ran with it because all I see is people saying they don’t see it on their timelines 💀

Kissing your friends is sooooo important

I love celsius but there’s a certain je ne sais quoi about redbull that unfortunately has yet to be replicated

“good mor-“ BOOTS THAT’S MY EGO BOOST

😮‍💨

Content to be back home ☺️

To be clear, just one of the lessons.

Y'all are still supporting the Pussycat Dolls when Nicole is a Trumper 🤢

Never beating the reply guy allegations and proud! Why else are we following each other if not to encourage debauchery, scandal and the occasional emotional support 🥹.

Just minding our own business

Okay so we all agree Target’s new CEO bribed multiple news outlets to write “the boycott is over” propaganda despite no evidence to support that statement, yeah? The boycott is VERY much still on. Target may have changed leaders, but its anti-DEI policy that led to all of this is still in place.

im just really fucking sick of spending my entire adult life lurching from one worldwide economic disaster to another all because people pretend republicans arent dumb as dog shit morons completely detached from reality

two pedo countries just destroying the world 🇺🇸 🤝🇮🇱

Ok well fuck that guy

I guess it's technically humpday now

Truly a perfect news alert

Since Trump’s election: 🔵 Democrats have flipped 28 state legislative seats 🔴 Republicans have flipped 0

Thank GOD

a little back workout and stretches in the morning do the body good

a reminder that this is a near-perfect album that got lost in the success of golden hour’s AOTY win. just beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, folk music that’s in on its own joke; made for people who grew up in the kinda small towns they make fun of on tv. justice for pageant material!

@saderbrioli.bsky.social be funny Sometimes.

My religion is whatever you call this situation

I just don’t understand how all of a sudden I’m taking like 7 pills a day

this is incredibly horrifying

some of you need to put down the pokémon and pick up the albolene.

for me “doom scrolling” is actually just the pathological hunt for the first piece of news that indicates this whole unbearable moment is about to unravel

The gym should be a welcoming place for anyone and everyone but not teenagers.

bdsm stands for buenos días soy maricón

Me when I blast some Ari’s slower jams

Me: What could possibly go wrong? Anxiety: I'm glad you asked.

gm it’s friday

And the white mans at work reveals who he truly is once again

We prosecuted the Nazis for doing this during World War Two

Get on your back, in front of a mirror, and take a pic with your legs up such that your soles and boomboom are visible to the camera. And THAT’S showbiz, baby.

Daylight savings time this weekend, remember to set your cocks back to my instagram dm’s or whatever the groundhog said

Maybe starting an unpopular war among the Gulf states at the behest of an Israeli war criminal without a clear plan or end goal was a bad idea?

I’m not quite sure I understand the purpose of telling people you put up and then took down a nude. Feels like it should just be an iykyk moment

2g

I’m so tired of seeing people bash Bluesky for being an echo chamber when X is an actual intentionally constructed echo chamber that is demonstrably radicalizing people across the political spectrum who still use it

Sorry I'm not more open-minded about LLMs, it's just some fucking maniacs shoveled out a bunch of useless bloatware featuring that technology, did not give me any chance to opt out, reorganized the entire economy around it, zeroed out gains made by green energy, and made it impossible to buy RAM