what kind of person would at someone fighting skin cancer and say we all hurt, we’re not special. who would do that to somebody they never met. this place is so awful

The Wooly Aphid invasion of Chattanooga is underway.

If passive aggressive were a sport, you’re an astronaut

I suspect the essential is in all this irrelevant somewhere.

You should pretend to imitate what normal people do when normal people talk to other people that they assume are other human beings, just to say you tried it.

I’m here you fuckass bitch.

Whatever the over/under for gun shot wound and at least 1 nail in cranium number for CT Scan facility at 8 am in Moreno freakin Valley, on a Saturday is. place your bets, imma find out with cup of coffee tomorrow.

Like being granny’s house on a Sunday. everybody skeets things have changed all I’m sayin

And, here I go. Poker face.

Wilding is cancelled tonight because Irv is still wiped from Rosh Hashanah, and my neck is in spasm from grabbing a pan.

had to help 5 select a place to bury a hamster thanks for you patience during this difficult time

Best movie soundtrack? Heavy Metal

💭idk. i'm not smart enough💭 -likes your reply and runs away

By my calculations, we should be up to “Weekend at Bernie’s, Part 17” by now. We’ve been screwed.

#FakeNewsArt #BlinkPack 🧚🏽‍♀️🌥️ Patchy.

The next administration (but gold, instead of pink):

do you also like things?

So much tired. One 10 hour unconscious, please.

I think about more than I forget but I don't go around fire expectin' not to sweat, Charlie Brown

My bandage skills are on point. Limp on over any time.

Meet me at the casino and wear your cargo pants to hold my winnings, keys, lip stick,mints, uncrustable sandwich. Bring luck.

People are eating things on here.. And I’m desperately thinking of what pairs well. peanut butter saves that celery.. and far as glass goes, circus peanuts since you already work there. honks your clown nose and splits

If oozing has ever been soothing.. it is now. soozing

I always put on antiperspirant before showering, because I hate having wet armpits.

We are trying to find a potato I baked 2 wks ago and forgot about and it's not in the fridge or the oven and I had an edible and the kid is all OCD interrogating me and we can't stop laughing...

Ok.. recommended time past. time to take a pill, heat a needle, a turn mf’n Lance A Lot.. let the juice loose and bandage. ya das is gross. but good.

86% humidity is too much humidity.

it's saturday morning time to suppress all the memories of the work week as is tradition

Eating celery as punishment for all the bad things I’ve done.

Chewing glass. Want some..

Of course Aaron Rodgers has an opinion about Guinness tasting differently in Ireland from the tap. he drinks his own piss fermenting in a dark cave.

Its like if jeezus only heard the terrible things you say about him.. my experience with quote posting.

You nostalgia quote post people jump on with ooh and ahh.. I nostalgia quote post people say shit like, “got anything else that took you down memory lane, like a loaf of bread, or bread box”... shingle like of pain. we are not the same or falling for it ever again.

In reference to a riddle, my manager just asked if birds were mammals. *sets desk on fire

There will be samples.

all the girls that are here for the truth come put both hands on this valerian root

Took a vow to be mediocre.

miss a formate joke here people be like, fuck and your “pain”. I stubbed a toe a week back, where were you?!

I would rather eat an entire semi truck than “hop on a quick teams call” with you, Susan.

The 3 year old with explosive diarrhea in the sprinkler with 4 other kids killed that reflex. Even the school nurse tapped out.

gratuitous weekly pepper banzai update. holding on like Wilson Phillips I tell you. the other one

Daughter shared with me a drink suggestion from 7 Brew and it's just the thing to kick start my day. I just showed them the photo and like magic, it was in my hand. I got it blended. Hells yes.

🎶Some people need to hurt somebody, anyone You may as well have been a stranger, you may as well have been one 🎵 youtu.be/9bxKvbjt6u8?...

Sorry in advance. 🎶 Do you you really want some herpes? Do you really want some pubic lice? 🎶 Remember, I wrote I was sorry.

I’m in so much gawd damn pain its laughable. oh there’s worse. hahaha oh jeezus. Leprosy, all my skin is swelling off of me, I’m not half the man I used to be.. Oh how did I.. get leprosy.. After they pop new lines.. somebody help but don’t look. 😂🙏

Oh you spent more than half your life studying and figuring that out by sight. Well, I have google, not very impressive. In fact already looked up and forgot what we were talking about f - you. Nice one up try to relate though. this is the wrong realty I swear

Its fine.. why do you ask? the bolt of Frankenstein is forming. Oh that.. I’m so sorry 😂 supposed to keep track.

Couldn’t help but think very cool also, Final Destination: Bigge .. Cafe open?!