This deserves a nobel prize

I modified the ice dispenser of the garage fridge to spit out york peppermint patties and this is the kinda innovation you get when you're handy and fat 😂😂😂

being mean is such an ugly trait to me.

Once everyone fully accepts that tricking is required from both parties in order to achieve a happy relationship, the healing will begin 🤷🏾‍♂️

listen to me type-click-type.ghost.io/muppets-supe...

A team of scientists in Japan has identified the "seed" of a protein believed to trigger Alzheimer's disease, a discovery boosting hope for the development of a new therapy for the neurodegenerative condition. 👉 ebx.sh/sv6dyQ

It’s not THAT complicated. 🤷🏿‍♀️ #blacksky #bluesky #BlackWomensEqualPayDay

"I'll write the check before the baby comes who the fuck cares"

It Only Tuesday https://theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-1819569397/

This Chip Kelly pic is going to get incredible run this year lmao

Just remember that in order for an arrow to launch the furthest distance, it must first be drawn back…. Don’t look at your current situation as a setback rather as a launching pad for success.

I know social media got everyone feeling like the main character but PUHLEASE make peace with the fact that you ain’t gonna always be the target audience.

I think intimacy is someone remembering the little things bc you matter enough to notice. the way you like your food. the songs you play when you’re overwhelmed. the look on your face before you say you’re okay when you’re really not. noticing is one of the purest forms of love to me.

#nailwars “Polished Chestnut” 🪵 Adding these to the site for sure lol www.auriel.beauty ✨

“Love is to be invested in someone’s continued expansion”

If you’re generous enough to adjust for era, there really is no argument. Marino is the GOAT.

This is one of my favorite optical illusions, because even when you know specifically HOW IT WORKS, it's still hard to make your brain believe it. The image below is real-world video, but you're being tricked into believing it's an elaborate miniature by the DIORAMA EFFECT. Let's talk about it.

Odyssey racking up numbers. Tate brothers arrested. Donald's national address flopping. An absolute garbage week for the manosphere. Comedy gold for me though.

Work...Design by me 🥰

Warm, Encouraging Email From CEO Quickly Identified As Phishing Attempt https://theonion.com/warm-encouraging-email-from-ceo-quickly-identified-as-phishing-attempt/

If I Fell in love with you Would you promise to be true And help me understand Cause I been in love And I found that love is more Than just Holding hands..

It’s almost as if we give credence to the worst people, for the dumbest reasons, and we should just go back to ignoring them like we always had.

*tips in* yaaaaallllll. I received my ORIGINAL birth certificate yesterday. I wasn’t named when I was born but but but. I know my birth mama’s name 🥹 LIFE. CHANGING. Thank you to ALL the adoptee advocates who worked on getting VA’s law changed. 🥚

So basically Cape Verde won and I’m sticking to that

Body count discussions are crazy. It ain’t my business how many people you killed.

If you ever donate to children who are in the foster care system, in addition to clothes, shoes, socks and underwear, please consider donating suitcases, duffel bags, backpacks etc. A lot times the kids put their things in trash bags to move so having luggage would make a difference

Good morning y'all 🌄 Keep your curiosity ✨️

Daddy that’s fifty feet off the deck

#NailWars challenge accepted ☺️ “Surfboards & Sex Wax” 🏄🏽‍♀️🌊 (1/2)

Finding a pro bono lawyer in nyc in regards to real estate would heal me Rn

This went right over folks heads as it left containment. It's a joke and if you don't get it, it's not for you 😂

I'll punch your face off. Fym "imposter syndrome?" You been doing standup longer than some of your followers been alive. Your special is available errwhere. I seent you on tv being funny long before i ever met you. And you one of a VERY short list of comedians i ASK to tour with me. DPMO big fella

not enough people talk about how lucky we are to be alive to witness a sunset on ANOTHER PLANET

😭😭😭

#nailwars I saw this set by Chaun Legend and had to recreate it lol. A fun summer frenchie ✨ (1/2)

"This program gives Black single moms $1,000 a month for a year. The results are undeniable. The Magnolia Mother’s Trust is the first to target low-income families led by Black mothers in Jackson, Mississippi" www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Just when we thought Grim was dialing in his aim he goes and misses wildly again. Damn.

“You cannot reconcile with people who are not honest about how they mishandled you.” A mf word.

OFFICIAL: Sen. Mitch McConnell's team has confirmed that he WILL be participating in the Home Run Derby during the MLB All-Star festivities.

That's my captain 🫡🥲

Lol UD has a message for Draymond

When everyone I hate is dying >>>

the high heeled Timbs are amazing

KLAY. YOU MORON. THANK YOU.

Black women are up ♾️-0 with them Edna bobs😮‍💨. ZERO MISSES.

He was a fascist functionary who enabled unforgivable policies that directly led to the suffering of millions. And he did it all GLEEFULLY. He doesn’t deserve any “nice things” in life or death. The problem is that Senate Dems see him as a “colleague” instead of a traitorous enemy, which he was.

Lindsey Graham was ashamed of what he should have been proud of and proud of what he should have been ashamed of.

[Exit Queen.]