“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his ass along the White House carpet during a press conference.

opsec is like dating. nobody actually follows their own advice

you are made witness to a rare Homer of Victory. yell "woo hoo!" before sending this to the ally on your flank most at risk of capitulation to the enemy

Auschwitz was at the end of a process. We must remember that it did not start from gas chambers. This hatred gradually developed: from ideas, words, stereotypes & prejudice through legal exclusion, dehumanization & escalating violence... to systematic and industrial murder. Auschwitz took time.

I loved listening to it evolve over the years. From 2400 baud negotiation, to 14.4k, to 56k, each ping and pong building on the last to make our geocities pages render jpegs faster.

Happy large boulder the size of a small boulder day for all who celebrate

Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom https://theonion.com/anxiety-experts-recommend-sneaking-off-to-do-drugs-in-bathroom/

Dr. Gladys West, the pioneering mathematician whose work laid the foundation for modern GPS technology, has died. She was 95.

tony dokoupil sips on a bourbon and ponders the president’s views “let’s do the news” dead on arrival nobody bothered to check with the Jack Daniel’s brand the segment is canned all the whiskey fridays where do they all come from all the whiskey fridays where do they all belong

I haven’t seen a jury duty summons in years and I have this irrational fear that they’re going to an old address or something and I’m going to find out the hard way about a bench warrant

sir please put some pants on

This is (also) correct

This is correct

What I say when I can’t find my glasses/keys/phone etc

Hahahah what. Interesting alert from Flightradar24 that I missed this morning. Other than a few YouTube shorts that don’t provide any other info, I can’t find much online with some quick searching. In any case, CS has come a long way since my fps days… #counterstrike #fps #gaming #flightradar24

“if that’s what conservatives want, we need to blah blah blah” Counterpoint: no the fuck we don’t

Minnesota legend Charles M. Schulz knew what made a great citizen. “Sometimes it is the very people who cry out the loudest in favor of getting back to what they call ‘American Virtues’ who lack this faith in our country.”

Charlie has figured out how to make the printer print test pages and now it’s all he wants to do.

People aren't leaving; looks like more have arrived since we have. Someone just shouted "suck my dick" and the crowd joined in with a spontaneous "suck his dick!" chant.

You: why am i getting no social media engagement Your profile:

I saw this video of a Vietnam vet in the fur coat yelling at ICE and thought to myself, "this is missing something," before I realized, "Ah, of course, the Ether instrumental. It's so obvious."

I haven't watched the videos. Even the one that is supposedly "not graphic" because you can't see what's happening directly - you are watching/listening to someone's life being taken. I think it's important that the facts and evidence are out there, but I don't need to make myself experience it.

IT’S HERE And now it can take its place of honor next to its companions (and the dog my grandma got me when I was in the hospital in 2nd grade) @poorlycatdraw.bsky.social

hmmmmmm

@ai6yr.bsky.social thoughts?

lol I used to have a t-shirt that said "show me your dongle" and i still use the word!

I was in my late teens when I got my first tech job in 1999, and I was working with these IVR interface cards that required hardware keys to activate the license. This was my first encounter with the term “dongle” and it still makes me giggle as much today as it did back then.

If you are a resident of California, the state now has a portal where you can demand deletion of your personal data from 500+ registered data brokers with a single request form, for free. consumer.drop.privacy.ca.gov

imagine paying a bunch of money for tickets to see some mountain goats and then you get there and it's just a band

Air to Ground Message: 31044G KDTW KMEM6 PICE DEICE. LATE INBOUND. TORNADO. FLOOD...LOCUST SHARKNADO. COULDNT BREATHTHROUGH LEFT EYELID. Area: Lansing, IL, USA A: #a642891b144 F: #f539abce2a1 #acars #vdlm2

Air to Ground Message: SHORT ANSWER IS NO LONG ANSWER IS STILL NO WILL YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE HAVING 2 PILOTS AWAKE FOR 22 HOURS PLUS WE ADVISE CS AT 1535L. Area: Philadelphia, PA, USA A: #a4e2042cb09 F: #fa8f75fed82 #acars #vdlm2

kills me every time lol

Know Your Time-Related Abbreviations B.C. - before christ A.D. - after dhrist A.M. - after midnight P.M. - pefore midnight

SPACEBALLS: The Chicken!

why does the oven say piss…

Sony Video Head Cleaning Cassette [VHS] : 86s

I fucking cackled out loud

Fuck you people. Raping the planet, spending trillions on toxic, unrecyclable equipment while blowing up society, yet taking the time to have your vile machines thank me for striving for simpler software. Just fuck you. Fuck you all. I can't remember the last time I was this angry.

[first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: [pointing] star boss: what? why me: [shrugging] baby

Motto of #ATProto developers

I feel like paying a subscription to allow game consoles to connect to the internet is a scam that we just quietly accepted.

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

Movie you've watched more than six times with a Gif. Hard mode-no Star Wars, Marvel.

Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread

cryptography is a mathematical system for transforming problems which aren't key-management problems into key-management problems

"So that's it? After 20 years, so long, good luck?" "I don't recall saying good luck."

One of humanity’s most ubiquitous infectious pathogens, the Epstein-Barr virus, which 19 of 20 people carry, bears the blame for the chronic autoimmune condition called systemic lupus erythematosus or, colloquially, lupus. med.stanford.edu/news/all-new...

“Your grandpa was very horny” - five words I hope I never hear in that order