The best dating advice I ever got was when my friend told me, "Dude, don't worry. Women are like wild animals. They are less attracted to you than you are to them."

Do you ever wonder what Ea Nasir would think about all of the memes about him? Do you think he would enjoy the fact that he is immortalized in perpetuity? Or do you think that if he knew then what he knows now he would have sold good copper? I think about that a lot.

I feel like nobody's talking about how stains have evolved. Like in the 00s, you get a stain, wash, gone. Now you get a stain, wash it, the stain has multiplied! It's on other clothes now! I feel like a miner screaming "somebody fetch me the turpentine!" just to get stains out of my clothes.

Finally got Kubuntu working on my new computer. It had a glitch where it installed the wrong ethernet driver and I couldn't download anything from Steam. A few hours of futzing around in Konsole and I got it all working. Skyrim is playable just in time for me to have to go to bed.

Post your favorite Star Trek character. Wrong answers only.

I'm out driving and 30 minutes into my drive I look to my right and there was a spider in the car floating towards me. Instead of immediately panicking, I scooped it up by its web and threw it out the window. Then I freaked out. If you are on the road today and you're still alive, you're welcome.

Minor update, I realized that the computer was running really hot, like 74 degrees at idle, even with an all-in-one cooler on it, so I disconnected the cooler to check the paste and saw that I forgot to take the little sticker off the bottom. No harm, just humbled.

I just spent more money on this than I ever have on anything else short of a car. Assembled it myself, it worked on the first post. I am excited!

Why the hell do Cali Prius drivers all drive like you owe them an apology?

Sometimes it's great that I have so excised advertising and news from my life that the only way I find out anything has happened is by going on bluesky, but can somebody tell me what the hell the deal is with Olivia Rodrigo and woodchippers? I am so far out of the loop.

"Everyone is dead and the trees are humming" -George Carlin

Has anything other than nothing ever been apropos?

Quick question, how long after your baby penis falls off does it take for your grown up penis to grow in? Getting a little worried here.

If you come visit me for the holidays, make sure you leave enough space in your car for a 2,000 lb barrel of industrial adhesive. My house is a glue ton free zone.

Call me a penis how much I yearn to be wrapped up by something warm and loving and squeezed until I throw up.

Sometimes I hate the fact that I dress like a bum by default, but on the other hand I love it when people who are trying to sell me something look at me and decide I can't afford the thing and so they leave me alone and go bug other people instead.

Doing tech support. Trying to figure out why someone's usb-c monitor won't display. They're freaking out. Simple fixes not working. Add an hdmi and it comes on... The monitor shows twice? Dumbfounded This person turned off the display in the OS and then called IT. They're 29 years old.

Do you ever wonder how many Sheryl Crows you would have to clone before you had a Sheryl murder?

In any sane universe, the news has become completely absurd. You have a million articles screaming about, "RUN! THEY ARE COMING TO TAKE YOUR TESTICLES AND MAKE THEM INTO MARACAS!" and on the other side, it's "91-year-old Bertie Gents of Dayton has found her pet bird after four days of searching"

Saw your moms beaver moon. It looked like she had Beakman in a headlock

Why does it feel like broken hearts never heal When you're ugly?

Shout out to peanuts for proving the old adage about eating things to gain their powers www.npr.org/2025/10/21/n...

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these:

Best trick-or-treater comment of the night goes to the little four-year-old girl that told her parents proudly, "I told you this one had big chocolate bars!"

Happy Halloween!

Cheesepost haha! I'm so provolonely.

I'm actually not vulnerable to gunshot wounds, which is surprising, but yeah, like they have no effect on me whatsoever. I don't know why everyone gets upset about them.

This is what you'll see as you drive up the street if you're coming to my house tomorrow.

Reputation doesn't mean shit. Everyone knows Meta is terrible. Everyone knows Alphabet and Google is terrible. Everyone knows fucking Disney is terrible. Everyone knows that the fucking Republican Party is terrible. Everyone knows all of this shit is terrible, and nobody stops giving them money.

Every day it becomes a little bit clearer that we are in a war where you can shoot your opponents but if you do, you lose.

I pledge allegiance to the fucked of the United States of America, and to the ideals we understand will never be achievable as long as the fuckers that fucked us are alive

I finally watched the 2005 Michael Keaton movie "White Noise" and it has been a long time since a scary movie freaked me out so much. I spent a good third of the movie with goosebumps up and down my neck and arms. Highly recommended if you're looking for a good scary movie.

Them: "Hey, not a space astronomer. Where is space?" Me, a genius: *points*

If you ever get the chance to try astragalus tea, go for it. It's the weirdest thing. It smells like fresh dead ballsack, but it tastes like the water form of milk and honey.

We are one minor mutation of a common banana disease away from having to get an entirely new kind of banana, and frankly we are not prepared for that.

When Mr. Incredible could not be a full-time crime-fighting superhero, he still superheroed by helping people navigate the labyrinthine madness of insurance agencies. Be like Mr. Incredible.

I fucked up I was talking to a friend at a bar, and I said that I realized I don't have a shot in hell with the bartender that has been friendly with me, and she overheard, and now everything's fucking awkward and argh

What's it like inside of your head?...

I think I made them angry

Why am I not a good guitarist yet?

Writing this down in hopes that I will remember it later: The secret to being a good person is to love without being loved in return. The secret to being a saint is to love while being hated in return.

Does anyone have any suggestions on an interesting thing I can buy to distract me for a while? I want a new distraction.

I do weird things to save money.

Just realized that Limitless is a movie that dares to ask the question, "What if there were no downsides to meth?"

My bros asked me why I kept seeing her after I found out she was toxic

Don't wipe your ass. Shit so hard your ass wipes itself. Be a man

Do you think it's possible to find yourself? Like, I've never gone looking, I always assumed I knew who and where I was, but... Is it possible I'm missing something?

This is the kind of energy I'm looking for.

"Telling people things you like about them? That's so cringe!" And other things my stupid anxiety tries to tell me when it won't let me sleep