Her: We just watched Oppenheimer and Raging Bull in one evening… Me: We just did the Ragenheimer! Her: The Oppenbull?

Damn, that’s sad.

I went to the shops for some walnuts, apparently the correct term is rawlplugs.

Saw a recipe for a one-pot jambalaya. Only smoked sausage I could find was kielbasa, so… fusion, baby!

1/n 2 NEW epic images of Phobos over Mars just released by @esa.int Mars Express This view is especially striking, with Phobos between the Tharsis volcanoes and Noctis Labyrinthus–Valles Marineris Full resolution 300MP(!) & info on: flic.kr/p/2rMW4so Credit: ESA/DLR/FUBerlin/AndreaLuck CC BY 🧪🔭

He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows you would taste really good So be ready with your stake Oh You'd better not shout You'd better not cry He's moving to London, he's sexy and bi Dracula is coming to town

THE 21st CENTURY: HUMANITY: Hmm, climate change is a real problem but we're starting to reach the point where most of us acknowledge that something needs to be done. A.I. DEVS: HEY WE INVENTED THIS GREAT THING THAT EATS FORESTS AND CRAPS OUT GARBAGE, IT ALSO STOPS YOUR BRAIN WORKING

Fully caught up (four episodes!) on Pluribus last night.

It's almost as if people have contrived to turn immigration into an obsession

57 years ago today - December 21, 1968. Apollo 8. The very first photograph of the whole Earth taken by one of us 🌎 If all goes to plan, in the next few months, the first such photograph in over half a century will be taken, on Artemis II.

cool, cool cool

TIL There's a video after this quoted post

Half Ma’am Half Brisket

🚨 Andrew Tate has been BATTERED and comprehensively beaten by a novice boxer, Chase DeMoor

They say violence never solves anything, but I'm really enjoying these garbage bros getting the shit beaten out of them in the ring

this heralds the Time of Comeuppance, when grifters who have been hauling in cash pretending to be qualified for their jobs start getting their asses handed to them, shown to them, fed to them

At least 16 files from the Epstein release have disappeared from the DOJ webpage, including the only photo of Trump. No explanation has been given, AP reports.

This was my biggest tweet over in the bad place. It will live here now. 🧙‍♀️🎄

Have Tess or Claudia regenerate into Billie Piper at the end. #Strictly

Incredible words from real boxer Anthony Joshua after he knocked Jake Paul the fuck out lol

The wide-boy fash Trump Stan is conspicuous by his absence. Scrotes like him can only conceive of winning and losing if there’s cheating involved. #strictly The cunt will inevitably fade into obscurity, until the inevitable sex offences come to light of course.

It is nutritionally contraindicated, but we had one of our favourite meals tonight: store-bought barbecue-glazed baby-back ribs, stripped off the bone and stirred into rice. Like a barbecue pork biryani. It’s lush.

This photo, file 468, from the Epstein files that includes Donald Trump has apparently now been removed from the DOJ release. AG Bondi, is this true? What else is being covered up? We need transparency for the American public.

Angel: Well, they’re certainly cute. God: IKR? Angel: But… God: What? Angel: Well, it’s just, you want there to be more of them, right? God: Yes..? Angel: So you expect these things to… have sex? I mean, look at them! God: … Demon: And that’s it? That’s what got you cast out? Lucifer: *sigh*

My wife has made me homemade (well duh) mince pies. 🥰

December 20th. A partially rubberised torso stands on the corner of Edward Street and screams for thirty seconds before vanishing.

Love the way Paddy Haynes nods to his already-dropped-out opponent at the same time as he’s turning to start another lap. #World’sStrongestMan

And please also, AGAIN, never forget that they are inherently unethical to use because no one gave permission for their research or writing to be used in it. It is all stolen, and if you're using the plagiarism machine, please keep that in mind.

THIS. *They stole your fellow writers' FUCKING HEARTS' BLOOD to power their fancy-ass text-based writer-imitation machine.* You wanna get all NUANCED about that? Your easygoing take on that issue will sooner or later (most likely sooner) be used to steal *your* stuff. Let's see how *you* like it. 🫤

Does anyone wanna see a really good Getty image of Rita Moreno and Sam The Eagle having dinner in 1979?

When survivors reacted to this so-called Epstein Files transparency, they didn’t sound shocked. They sounded validated. Because even with a law, even with a deadline, even with the entire country watching, this pedocracy behaved exactly the way it always has.

I presume it’s a feature and not a bug but the wholly unidentical way those sandals are laced has me twitching.

WOW: The DOJ has DELETED an image from its release of the Epstein files that shows photos of Trump in a drawer. Yesterday, we noted that this image — file 468 — likely slipped through the cracks while officials were attempting to hide materials pertaining to Trump. Now, it’s gone.

Holy shit.

How to know if you have the superflu From the new Private Eye, out now.

Good news: we’ve kicked off the festive break with our favourite early-evening Christmas tipple - Drambuie and ginger ale! Bad news: there were exactly two measures left in the bottle!! Will get more tomorrow…

My 14-yo-son has recreated the climax of Back to the Future in gingerbread and I thought you should know.

Shift these times to the right by about three hours and that’s my next two weeks in a nutshell.

There's a series of things (like the ballroom, Gulf of America) that we're going to have to *undo* the moment this guy is out of office. And yet I can already hear future Democrat presidents saying "I'm focused on the people's work, not the knucklehead stuff" and just leave this man's shit up.

Good news @jimbobbers.bsky.social

“For sale: clown coffin, never used.”

Oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd the local aquarium has three new born otters and they CHIRP

If you do the math on stardates, there are multiple episodes of TNG that take place on Christmas, but no one on the ship celebrates it. Yet Star Trek Generations clearly states that Christmas is still celebrated in the 24th century. Major plot hole.

Signs and portents

THREAD. My parents' cat Bridget vanished. As the weeks dragged on they became ever more worried, so to distract himself my dad began to paint Bridget's adventures, imagining her travelling through time and popping up at some of art & music's most important moments. I've collected his work here...

A Lord of the Rings cover band called Flock of Smeagols

“Be sure to set me to ‘delicate,’ Alison. It’d be a shame to ruin that sweater, you know, in case it ever comes back in style.”

We’ve gone on Christmas holiday by mistake!