I love working at the Department of Justice and participating in a conspiracy to cover up the demented 80 year old president's sex crimes. I spend 18 hours a day redacting documents and there's a putrid husk where my soul used to be

Things are going great over at X, The Everything App

ceos are so enamored of AI because per their POV AI can replace a human (them). this just proves their point! all ceos should be replaced with AI

PSA: Our roadmap for 2026:

“try water fox or ice weasel” try chill penguin. install flame mammoth. you just download bubble crab. literally just use boomer kuwanger. sting chameleon has a search bar, use it to find toxic seahorse.

Again I say: how fucking interesting that remote work technology is bad and not worth adopting despite all research pointing to productivity gains, but genAI which offers NOTHING is so important to adopt and force on people who have no use for it despite all the horrible things genAI does

I just think it would be a better country if our president could write words of condolences for a beloved director that were as warm and kind as those he wrote for a despised pedophile

I hate that every week there's something stupid like an Everyone Has To Drink Pee Now Bill and the alert sounds to CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES THIS IS NOT A DRILL and you really wish you could just trust them to not go for the pee drinking bill

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

Merriam-Webster’s human editors have chosen ‘slop’ as the 2025 Word of the Year.

incredible things happening at the nazi bar

Watching Uni make biscuits makes me feel better

rare post that gets better with every single word

We’re deeply honored that HADES II is in the running for Game of the Year and more at #TheGameAwards tonight, especially since we’re in the company of such an amazing group of wildly different and beautiful games. Congratulations to all our fellow nominees — we salute you!! 🙏👏

Every gambling ad is like “if you’re struggling with addiction pls call this # but…if you’re not a pussy-

terrifying if true! Wondermark #1020; The Unknown Knowns

I am so sick and tired of professional athletes telling kids they have to "exercise" and "practice" and "eat right" to become world-class athletes. That sort of gate-keeping has to stop! Today I'm announcing a new non-profit that provides unlimited steroids to any kid who wants to compete.

working for fox news or the white house must be so easy. any failing can be blamed on immigrants. "sorry for the late reply, an immigrant had my gmail password." "need an extension on this assignment, an immigrant deleted my file." "sorry i didn't pay the bill. immigrants."

The Thing (1982, John Carpenter)

WE MUST RETVRN

If there is any one piece of purchasing advice I feel qualified to give: subscriptions are only good if they provide value; try to never let them be complacent. Cancel them if they aren't valuable in either a fiscal or emotional capacity. Otherwise, always choose one-time payments.

There's a lot of people in positions of power who are really comfortable saying we need to kill the poor. I remember learning there were consequences for my actions, but maybe the correct lesson is to never feel sorry and sociopath my way to the top.

reasonable minds can differ and it was possible they were waving an anti-aircraft missile or promoting gender ideology

All super rich guys sound the same now. It’s all “I sleep four hours a night and spend the other twenty hours a day developing a product that’s going to bring us the best widespread poverty anyone’s ever seen.”

this fuckin guy man. can't wait for it

HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right

not beating the “AI art is lazy” allegations

It’s that time of year again!

MPA Rates ‘Zootopia 2’ PG-13 For Sexually Awakening Content https://theonion.com/mpa-rates-zootopia-2-pg-13-for-sexually-awakening-content/

Another very pretty sunset on the way home tonight

That’s right hell yeah

You know the bubble is cooked when it can be explained like this.

mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one

badlands wolfpack

Had to take advantage of that very nice suit #FOTLFashion2025

Amazingly needing a bailout from a company that uses AI to summarize books. Just an ouroboros of pathetic here.

Ixalan (2017)

This is an absolutely insane administrative process. Within the space of a week, states were told by judges/White House *no SNAP benefits *half benefits *full benefits *pause provision of benefits. Result is chaos, uncertainty, and uneven access to benefits depending on where people live.

Mood

Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market. This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.

Current lack-of-relationship bitterness level: a couple died in a movie trailer and my reaction was

If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

Imagine if Furbies could tell you to kill yourself. Think about the outage parents would've had. They're trying to cram this technology everywhere they can. Technology which, I cannot stress enough, is made from stolen art and text.

Most of the Tesla shareholder proposals are like "Tesla is an incredible company, but maybe we should make sure we have some basic accountability or make sure we aren't exploiting child labor" and the board recommends against all of them

average bluesky poster