MAGA are the kind of people who’d bitch that their gestapo soup was served cold…

“Does this vest make my moobs look bigger?”

If “Minnesota Backlash” were a drink what would it be? Lutefisk purée dropshotted into Hamms?

To blatantly plagiarize Churchill, “Non-violent, passive resistance is the least effective form of resistance except for all the others.”

Watch that. And then tell me how we replace Schumer with her

ICE is not the Gestapo. The people who joined the Gestapo had other job options.

Strong deck, strong guardrails.

Q. What did one carrot say to the other carrot? A. RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!

Now the US and Canada will both have “loonies” for $1 coins.

This is amazing.

Maybe Red state governors are sending their national guard to DC because they’d be safer there picking up trash than patrolling their own murder capitals.

HE'S A LITERAL ALIEN, JESSE

Hey there Scott Walker. I noticed you deleted this after learning that in fact the shooter was from the right. I don’t think it matters either way, violence is violence, so I’m waiting for you to tweet the same thing with corrected facts? Cuz you’re uh, to use your words, “being silent.”

There are more russian flags on this than American. How appropriate.

citizens! know your mass shooter — use this handy guide: black gunman: RACE WAR brown gunman: MS-13 Muslim gunman: JIHAD white gunman with a racist manifesto, an arsenal, and a list of Democratic targets: MENTALLY ILL LONE WOLF

From the other place:

Guess who has one thumb and ignores workplace safety regulations

“We found this individual possessed a second, far more lethal string of words locked and loaded, and I’m terrified to think how the situation would have shaken out if he’d been able to say even one of them aloud,” said Kristi Noem theonion.com/kristi-...

I could have sworn her rank was Derpenfuhrer.

This is a message to the enemies of immigration enforcement: Gov. Newsom’s fate will be yours should you stand in the way of national purity,” an anonymous plainclothes ICE agent wearing a balaclava theonion.com/ice-rel...

Trump and Elon broke up. I can’t believe Biden would do that to us.

If squares were rectangles, then the name “squares” wouldn’t need to exist. You’d just call them rectangles.

Yet.

The world's most amazing PSA.

The Queer Burning of May 6, 1933. It was 92 years ago today that Nazis destroyed the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (Institute for Sexual Science, the first known sexology institute in the western world.

TRUMP: “I contribute my entire salary to the government.” WELKER: “Will you contribute anything you earn from crypto back to the government?” TRUMP: “…I never thought of that.” 🤷🏼

Darth Bonespurs. Happy May the Fourth.

A meme for May 4th

Number Of US House Seats By State Using Cube Root Rule brilliantmaps.com/number-of...

How pissed is Dan Brown that he didn’t use this plot for a novel? “The Vice President of the United States was the last outsider to see the Pope alive.”

OMG

Deep.

Assassin’s Creed: On Ice

Assassin’s Creed: The Musical

“I said to him, ‘Donald, these reciprocal tariffs have got to go,’ and that poor son of a bitch was like putty in my hands,” said Trump theonion.com/trump-b...

those penguins must be fucking pumped about tariffs being paused

You may be fearing your 401k is no longer enough for you to retire. But with all the cuts to NIH and Medicare you also won't live as long. So the policies are integrated.

How to see Minneapolis and St. Paul, 1901 'This brochure was distributed by the Chicago, St. Paul, Minneapolis and Omaha Railroad. Included were maps of the cycling routes in the Twin Cities.'

Hegseth didn't intend share war plans with 5 other people on Signal. It was only supposed to go to 4 people, but his assistant misunderstood when he said, "GET ME A FIFTH!"

Measles Actively Growing Again.

I miss the world in which this was commonplace knowledge. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuOH...

Nailed it...

YouGov MRP projections for tomorrow’s German elections.

And here we were told Germany reunified.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 🐆🥣😳 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻