Not-So-Slender Man

*honey company makes bottle bear shaped* Bees: WHAT THE HELL MAN

Jerry Lewis having an orgasm

Woke up in zip ties with feces smeared on the wall so I guess the J6ers stopped by last night. Treason’s greetings to you all!

Tomorrow is January 6th so don’t forget to leave out some ivermectin and a buffalo hat tonight.

I can’t believe Tim Walz dropped out because he was a 34 time felon and on the Epstein list.

Venezuela

I like to pause the ball drop at like 1 or 2 and restart it a few times. I call it edging the New Year.

Scrooge: You boy, what day is it? “Why, it’s the day Ben Folds drove his girlfriend to get an abortion, sir.” Scrooge: Ah, yes, day after Christmas.

Shoutout to @brentterhune.bsky.social for helping me win Christmas with an amazing Cameo for @sarahritchey.bsky.social

Just got visited by a spirit. Thankfully it won’t happen two more times tonight.

This Friday

I’m doing Cameos all week

I’m doing Cameos all week

He called ICE on a living nativity

He called ICE on a living nativity

I think the President has Trump Derangement Syndrome

As someone who lives in a country that’s had 391 mass shootings this year, let me just say, Australia is dangerous.

Tonight and tomorrow

“All animals deserve Lambo, but some deserve more Lambo” Animal Farm by George Orwell

When Indiana Republicans don’t do your bidding

Tonight on CBS and Paramount+.

This is how the Grinch was picking up shit

This Thursday after Colbert

Trump in the middle of a press conference

Winning the war on woke

Spotlight is a Christmas movie

MRI Results

Feels like day 45 of Black Friday. Our inboxes are full and nobody trusts the prices.

Last minute shows. I’m in Peoria tonight and tomorrow at the @jukeboxcomedy

Bubba wasn’t Clinton, it was Ghislaine’s horse. CHECKMATE LIBS

“It wasn’t Bill Clinton, it was a different Bubba!” CHECKMATE LIBS

Blowing Bubba

Blowing Bubba

Megyn Kelly right now

This week

Damn, I can’t believe the guy that said he had the Epstein files and also they didn’t exist, were a hoax, a plant, a fake, and a leak is in the files. I’m shocked I say, shocked!

Hey I’m hosting this show on the 13th at Field Day in North Liberty, IA.

This week

This week

My favorite season is the 4 days of fall we get every year.

Looks like Kim Davis is gonna have to go back to tying James Caan to the bed during a snowstorm now.

Hey everyone my favorite comic is @brentterhune.bsky.social go check his YouTube channel out and he's doing live shows right now! He also hosts some of the best podcasts. My favorite: They are coming to get you! (Barbara) w/ @gavineddings.bsky.social (he's cool too) youtube.com/@brentterhun...

Happy Halloween

Tomorrow

I can’t believe the dude tearing apart families is tearing apart the White House. I’m shocked.

My brother was Miami Vice and I was a young Pennywise. This photo is not from Halloween.

You can tell Trump dumped feces on liberals in that video because if it was MAGA they would’ve had their mouths open begging for more.

Sorry I missed our wedding, Amazon web services was down.

No Kings Feces