Are we there yet?

I love that Michael Owen is a brand ambassador for treadmills, I love his quote, I love that they've used his full name, I love that they've said 10+ trophies when as far as I can tell he's won 10 exactly, I love that they've undercounted his Premier League goals by 126

So this is obviously a really bad step, but I’ll tell you what: Austin Aries and Val Venis will be fuming that they’re not booked for this, and that’s very funny

Gotta say, the Netflix adaptation took some significant liberties with the story

🚨BREAKING: Brock Lesnar and John Cena won’t have to worry about vicious tiger maulings during their epic battle at WrestlePalooza, as WWE is proud to partner with Tiger Repellent Rocks, which will surround the ring for the duration of the main event!

I mean, either this product is bullshit, or WWE are admitting that everyone outside the ring, including the audience, is in significant physical danger.

Look, I’m sorry if this is unpopular nowdays, but every TV theme song is sung by the character in the show. You can say society has progressed all you want but this fact remains

It’s 2025 and the scariest college football player I’ve ever seen is making adorable TikToks with his wife

i'm tired of people telling me that the houston texans aren't real. obviously they are not real in the literal sense. i don't think anyone is saying they are. but they impart lessons that have a lot of truth to them. god never intended them to be taken at face value

Me: god why have I not sorted my tickets for the Vikings London game The Vikings London game: might feature Carson Wentz as starting QB Me: oh. I’m smart actually

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

I am officially giving every nfl home team permission to plug patreon.com/LukeBraunNFL at their stadium this week. We will see who does or doesn’t.

Hello again pals. Unfortunately I’ve had to make the difficult decision to cancel this show. A cavalcade of practical issues emerged and it’s just become unviable. Thanks to everyone who was excited and supportive, especially the talent who offered to be part of it x

Me living by the sword: Swords rule Me dying by the sword: Ugheueghhh

if you have a billion dollars you should be legally designated a dragon and any human can adventure against you

Two matches announced so far. Wrestling Resurgence Presents CRASH! BANG! WALLOP! WHAT A WRESTLING SHOW. 📍 The Y Theatre, Leicester 📅 Saturday 27 September 🕕 Doors: 6pm | Show: 6.30pm – 9.30pm 🎟️ Tickets from £10.00 👉 bit.ly/4edDoqv

SOMETHING OF AN ANNOUNCEMENT: Although I've left it ludicrously late to organise, I am putting together a charity wrestling show to celebrate my 20th anniversary as a referee. If all goes to plan, it will be at Attenborough Arts in Leicester on Friday 17th October. Official stuff coming soon!

In the dying days of old Twitter, I posted a thread trying to determine who the oldest wrestlers to ever compete were. Let's revisit that today. 🧵🤼‍♂️

SUVs, or as I like to call them “stupid big cars”, are the fucking bane of my driving life. This country’s roads are not big enough to safely accommodate them. There are myriad reasons to ban them and no reasons not to.

There's just zero justification for these vehicles to exist. Ban new production, ban them from cities, then from residential neighborhoods, then all together. I'm open to nuanced views on car ownership, but not on SUVs. Fuck SUVs.

I’ll be honest, it’s not how I pictured it

Thinking about the time I polled my main friend discord on their Minecraft hotbar and there was a 1:1 correlation between “lesbian” and “sword in slot 1”

[Swerve meniscus news breaks] Tanahashi: you are a little baby. Watch this [runs to ring like a power walker with the shits]

All historians should read this jaw dropping interview as a case study in moral and political decrepitude. Evidence if any more were needed that the accrual of massive amounts of evidence about the past does not automatically engender a critical reflection on the present.

Incredibly sinister screenshot from when my toddler was watching something on my phone

Real shame that The G1 Result That Everyone Hated is gonna overshadow the ref bump of the year by Marty Asami

i also found that on August 5, 2005, i had the very strange double feature of March of the Penguins (7:30p) and Revenge of the Sith (9:45) at two different theaters

i'm still backdating old movie stubs on letterboxd and i've found that it publishes the first in a batch to your activity feed; anyway that's why my followers found out that i watched Norbit in theaters on Apr 22, 2007

I really don’t think I’ll ever stopped being entertained by being able to truthfully refer to “my Roblox account, which I have for work”

Bandcamp Friday buy my shit it’s really good peopleneedgoals.bandcamp.com

CHLOE FUCKING KELLY LUCY BRONZE AUDHD ICON HANNAH HAMPTON SAFEST HANDS ON EARTH What a team

You: pornbots keep randomly following me on Bluesky Me, an intellectual: pornbots are citing my books on Google Scholar

The ultimate directory of his bullshit, by the inimitable @franticplanet.bsky.social: franticplanet.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/t...

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say hulk hogan died when he tried to do an atomic leg drop and missed and bonked his head and bounced out of the ring and his pants flew off and his dick got twisted off the top rope. don’t say stuff like that

“Ozzy wanted me to die on stage with him, brother” [St Peter fiddling with the lever for the slide to hell] “yeah man I bet”

There was a sign next to the urinal at the crematorium today that said “DO NOT PLACE ITEMS IN THE URINAL”. What were people putting in there so often that it necessitated a sign. I thought about that all fucking day. I need to book another day to actually process the actual damn funeral

Printable G1 bracket wallchart time! drive.google.com/file/d/1OnML...

LUCY BRONZE AUTISTIC ICON

Keeper stepping up to take pen 5 only to blaze it over is incredible lmao

Can’t recall a game of international football this physical tbh, they’ve been absolutely battering each other. If we win this, Hampton with her nose plugged up will be an iconic image

Someone has spray painted "DEATH TO THE IDF" on the wall on the end of my road and it looks like someone has gone over it again in white paint to cover it up, but bafflingly they seem to have just censored the offending nouns so now it just reads "TO THE"

My half-assed theory that's probably going to make my whole community hate me is that I think the current focus/fixation on profiles of subtypes of autism is filling the hole that was left by house sorting or whatever you call it in Harry Potter that had to be abandoned when JK went wrong.

My grandfathers watching me from heaven while I play the horse girl game.

I enjoy professional wrestling

If you're watching #AEWAllInTexas and wanna see the Alex Windsor vs Syuri match from EVE last month that Excalibur spoke of on commentary, you can do so for free on YouTube youtu.be/NUgXE8pOxVU?si…#wrestleskyk#AEWEW 🤼‍♀️🤼‍♂️

Sorry I didn't riff on your riff, I was feeling jocular when I posted but despondent seventy seconds later