I’m on my way home and I’m, like. Not? Hot? I feel like there’s a word for it.

Rewatching all of Poirot and a new reaction gif just dropped

"there comes a time when we all must put away our childish things" no, we don't. I will not be doing that

My car is saying it is still 27 degrees at 11pm and that is too many degrees

The Coke Zero people are so needlessly smug. I don’t drink Diet Coke because I want Coca Cola with zero calories. I drink Diet Coke because there is something wrong with me; something deeply broken inside of me; something that will never truly be healed.

Hate hot weather, quite enjoy women in sundresses and no bra

Made a drink to take out with me like a sensible person, then left it at home like an idiot.

Nice collision of the headline from one story and a picture from another on The Times website.

Remember you can put deodorant under your boobs too

Channel 5 may have peaked this evening

How does it keep up with the news like that?

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

The minute she finished I went and had a delightful doze on my clean sheets with the breeze from my open window playing over me

I want a nap but my cleaner is here and it just feels wrong and bougie

Reminder, for myself as much as for others: tattoos last better if you use sun cream and SSRIs don’t mesh well with heat and you need to drink more water

Are you truly a British millennial if you don’t have a group chat where you share clips and memes about Mr Blobby?

I’ve had The Internet is for Porn stuck in my head all day because I saw Avenue Q last night. Not the best song to possibly unconsciously sing when you’re looking after your friend’s 10 year old (I didn’t!)

41 years of EastEnders and someone finally said it.

I’ve nearly finished knitting a stress ball in the shape of our delivery crates, if you want to know how my week’s going

anyway we're all being very dull with our western food hot takes here, my absolute favourite view is from an Indian friend who once declared that Japanese food wasn't a cuisine as "they just don't really do anything to the ingredients", a work of art of a take

[frantically dialing the Dad Joke Hall of Fame]

It's amazing how many pro-army rightwing American types are desperate to 'preserve the legacy' of Achilles, a bisexual serving in the military who once dressed in drag and who refused to fight when he didn't want to.

Today I went to Quaker meeting, went swimming and swam a mile, went to Tesco, then came home and ate lunch then slept for 2 hours. Basically a perfect Sunday.

If the actor with British accent is evil then you’re watching Sci fi. If the actor with a British accent is good then it’s Fantasy. If the actor with a British accent knocks something over then it’s a Rom com.

Not sure if you all saw the clip of Yann Martel, on being asked if he’d use AI to write, said that it would be the same as asking somebody to have sex for him. I love this so much.

@maintenancephase.bsky.social voice: Fuck ALL the way off

A fellow Labour Party member once described Wes Streeting to me as Zippy from Rainbow if he'd been radicalized by Mumsnet. which is a very specific set of references but also disturbingly accurate.

“What is a transphobic c***?”

If you read them from the beginning they're the words of a dog who desperately wants you to come over because they've seen a frisbee

YOU CANNOT GRIND THE BONES OF YOUR ENEMIES INTO DUST TOMORROW IF YOU DO NOT DO YOUR STRETCHES.

JK Rowling is now represented by a trans person in the Scottish parliament. Absolutely incredible.

I’m reading a book about the history of murder and just got to the chapter about the corporate fuck ups of the 80s and the evening will be spent NOT GOOGLING King’s Cross or Clapham or the Marchioness

Good to see the LibDems gradually rebuilding the Kingdom of Wessex one shire at a time under King Ædward of Davey. Just Hamtunscīr, Wiltunscir and the Vale of Teste to conquer before the kingdom is reunited to fight back the Reforme hordes of Mercia and Essex

Yes, I am a lesbian, why do you ask?

At a bun fight after a CofE service

Evergreen headline.

Can’t believe we still haven’t had the outtakes from this episode where Aubrey and Peter spend 3 hours affectionately bullying Mike

God, it really never gets old does it? He's just *brilliant*.

Signed.

Are you even on orchestra tour if you haven’t drunk the hotel bar dry?

I gave life to the plums that were in the fruit aisle And which you were probably not that afraid of Forgive me They are a god now Eldritch Immortal

A class at my kids’ school put up little statements about the good they want to do in the world and I was over the moon about this one - then I learned they meant to say “teach people in jail” which is also good!

So, friends: I promised I'd tell the story. Now I shall. Let a (former) psych nurse tell you the true (gods help us) story of a night in a big-time NYC emergency room: and the arrival of The Man With The Bloomingdales Bag. (1/n)