“I Thought $40,000 Would Be Enough for Our Wedding. Then I Found Out How Much My Friends Really Paid for Theirs.” $40,000 is enough for your wedding. End of advice column.

Ever come back from a medical appointment more confused than where you started?

Dear Lydia, Thank you for your continued kindness towards your brother. Please consider divorcing your dickbag husband. Sincerely, SailorSoapbox.

Exhibit H as to why precise writing is important - this paragraph implies Isaac Newton lived during the Middle Ages (he’s one of the foremost scholars from the Enlightenment period, which was hundreds of years later).

the jays whom yelled at me and then each other! i hope they love each other very much🪶🥰🥺

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Billy is smol but also LONG

I have to go to a medical appointment across town, so I told Nyxie that I would be back soon and asked her not to be too upset about my absence. I can already hear her crying. 😅

Frank is appalled and would like humans to please get their shit together.

To be loved is to be changed: Mama Spot edition 😭🧡

“The group helped lead the charge to end federal protections for the bald eagle a couple decades ago.” And here I thought conservatives considered themselves to be patriotic.

back on my bullshit

“I know I have some on my nose, but I honestly feel like you didn’t share any of your fried chicken with me!”

Looks kind of like our void.

“I know I have some on my nose, but I honestly feel like you didn’t share any of your fried chicken with me!”

Every time I go to a Tim Hortons now, I recognize it a little less. It’s all flatbread pizza and spicy chicken wraps now. I just want a dang ham sandwich!!

Got my name mispronounced as “Mayan.” That’s apocalyptically incorrect!

It's time to learn about the birds and the bees with a "flying" game showcase TONIGHT at 7pm CT! We're back, and we're gonna bug y'all! twitch.tv/retropals

Our playthrough of 'Transformers: Mystery of Convoy' is up now on YouTube! Watch as Ultra Magnus repeatedly fail the test of high command, and as Cass consequently grapples with their urge to simply hit the rewind button. All with no screen flashing!! www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAHQ...

good post

Perhaps consider replaying Super Mario Galaxy on your Wii or Switch, an all-around excellent game with beautiful music and visuals, fun and challenging mechanics, and a sweet story about found family.

Margo will always opt to invade her brother's personal space rather than use the second heated bed I purchased with my frivolous human money

Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old

Boots Randolf's "Yakety Sax", AKA "The Benny Hill Show Theme", has become a defacto April Fool's Day song. I bet you've never heard it like this! youtube.com/watch?v=Y0J0...

“I’m horny for Bowser” is not an acceptable counter-argument, jsyk

There is no possible way to get all the lint off the lint catcher, and that’s a crime against humanity.

the nicest thing you can wish upon an artist in 2026 is that their work gains a small but dedicated cult following of kind hearted and politically shrewd weirdos & sickos that keep the fire going. the meanest thing you can wish upon an artist in 2026 is that their work gains a large online fandom

Uni? No. My true form is a sea urchin #AprilFools

Go girl give us nothing

I really want to break out my dresses and skirts again. Hurry up, warm weather!

The cats have issued forgiveness for being gone

In Korean, the word for cowboys, 속기 쉬운, translates literally to “American horse pirates” * read on for more of my all-time favourite translations from around the world (a thread)…

Goodreads has updated the seasonal reading challenge goals to be automatically completed if you’ve already read a qualifying book recently. That’s an enormous help, especially for that challenge that asks you to complete a doorstopper.

Deimos would like you to know that today is going to be a Good Day….

Nintendo has a BIG problem. Theft. Slop. AI. Scams. Hentai. It's real bad folks.

My usual April Fools prank is to play *only* variations of “Moonlight Densetsu” on Crystal Tokyo Radio…but I just wasn’t feeling it this year. I think my soul is exhausted.

Timeline cleanse: his name is Bagel Jones 😻😻😻😻

The whole world will be your enemy, prince with a thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will smash you with a hammer. But first they must catch you.

Happy TDoV, have a pic of Girlmode Ranma hatching from an egg that predates the literal Trans flag

How does she keep getting cuter?

I’m Rodimus the Prime, I am! Rodimus the Prime, I am, I am I got killed in the movie before Just so Hasbro could…sell some more! And now my name is Prime, Rodimus! Rodimus! Optimus got killed off for a scam I’m the Prime whose name is Rodimus Rodimus the Prime, I am!

I’m Rodimus the Prime, I am! Rodimus the Prime, I am, I am I got killed in the movie before Just so Hasbro could…sell some more! And now my name is Prime, Rodimus! Rodimus! Optimus got killed off for a scam I’m the Prime whose name is Rodimus Rodimus the Prime, I am!

Kinda popped off with this lede, ngl.

DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN 🏳️‍⚧️ #art #tdov #transart

thankful to be alive in 2026 when authors have ushered us beyond 2020 implicit kind of repression and into the land of no time for subtext get in gurl (/gn) there's enough Queer Joy™ to go around at every age and stage www.tumblr.com/shealwaysrea...

It's Biscuits' gotcha day. This big beautiful boy came in from outside 1 year ago today and has been the sweetest most loving cat in the world. I'm so glad he trusted us enough to become an indoor cat with us.❤️

If you want to make a screenwriter cry, take them to see the THE SUPER MARIO GALAXY MOVIE. It's so lacking in substance and purpose that after a while you can’t even hear the dialogue over the incessant sound of Aristotle’s ghost punching himself. My review is at @thewrap.com!

You all could just Not Watch the new Mario Movie™ but since when do any of you ever listen to voices of reason

LEGENDARY FELINES — THE STARVED ONE One cat, long ago in the legendary BEFORE TIME, a cat starved to death, one minute after feeding time. This cat has cursed every feline with the genetic memory of this moment and will regale you with the SONGS OF THEIR PEOPLE at dinnertime, to prevent this...

He likes to sit on my work laptop because it's warm