Finally played the Christmas DLC level in Astro Bot, and it’s quite simply one of the most charming and wholesome levels I’ve ever played. The icing on a wonderful Christmas cake of a game.

behold: the male ego

Learned today that “Galápagos” comes from a Spanish word for tortoise, meaning that “Galápagos Tortoise” is, in fact, a tortology

He’s made it! Wishing Dick Van Dyke a very happy 100th birthday! 🎂

We’ve just started our annual Lord of the Rings rewatch, and Bilbo never explains quite why the hobbits are so concerning.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite song about how people will only love you if you're useful.

NEW: Five years of social media history is only a fraction of what the US Government will shortly demand of overseas visitors. The full requirements will end tourism in the United States. Below is the full, mind-blowing list. 🚨THEY. WANT. YOUR. DNA.🚨 1/

Huge M1 pot hole discovered.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, as always. www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy79...

Stealworkers

oh hell yes. all of these rats are making room for us on the ship

My fiancée needs a Switch version of this like yesterday (and a release date!)

“If you’ve got autism or ADHD just get into the habit of setting loads of reminders for yourself” The reminders:

Oh my god, that looks beautifu-FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS

Why do we never talk about Nakatomi Plaza having a frickin 1980s Marauder’s Map in its reception desk, tracking its employees every move?

No idea

no idea

I can’t believe I’m just noticing that Alan Rickman’s character in Love Actually has definite Julian Clary energy.

Gonzo and Rizzo leaving before the final act of Muppet Christmas Carol is a great example of setting boundaries when your job causes you undue stress. In this essay I will

In S17 of #Taskmaster, Nick Mohammed dressed as a vampire for his tasks. The production scrubbed all his reflections when he's dressed like this, but the only way I knew is because someone told me about it. It's subtle and very cool.

To do list: ✅ Dad

Imagine seeing this on a Christmas tree and not knowing it’s from a movie

We just accept it because it’s always been this way but ‘Ringo Starr’ is a bonkers thing to call yourself when the other guys are John, Paul, and George. It’s like having a band where everyone else uses their real name and then the drummer goes yes please call me Crackers Creamsworth

Last Christmas I gave you my heart…

Damn killer clowns ruining Christmas again…

So much fun. Great final gig of the year. See y'all in 2026, comedy peeps. 🥳

It's probably gonna be Shadow the Hedgehog and get a 0% on RT, but if they blast "I Am... All of Me" in the cinemas I am going to weep manly tears.

Less than an hour until I make my Coherent Comedy debut! Still time to get a (FREE) ticket and join us on Zoom at 8pm! 🥳

Adorable graffiti on the underpass reads: 'Knoledge is Power'.

And now for some of my very favourite Smol Paul moments in no particular order, starting with the first ever yeet

Fiancée: “It looks like it was built in The Sims”

Let this be the motto of the AI movement.

Spending the evening at a delightful Christmas market in Hampshire. They’ve got a brass band! Ooh, I wonder what carols they’ll play? MacArthur Park, New York New York, and the grand finale… …If Tomorrow Never Comes. 😐

Come and watch me do live comedy on Zoom at this brilliant brilliant online comedy show! It’s on Monday at 8pm UK, and it’s FREE 🥳

Does anyone else think this behind-the-scenes shot from Blade Runner looks like Rutger Hauer is hosting an episode of Dystopian Pointless

Just out of Wake Up Dead Man. Loved it. Felt a lot more like Knives Out 1, but also unique and surprising in its own way. Kept me guessing right until the end, which is all I want from a good whodunnit.

One of the great mysteries of life is how this stationery company has kept THAT name for this long.

Francis was more Mike Shinoda whereas Leo is more Chester

Today’s xkcd made me cry. In a good way. xkcd.com/3172/

It’s been 15 years since Dante’s Inferno on Xbox 360 and PS3 and I still don’t think there’s been a dodgier sounding achievement

Gonzo and Rizzo leaving before the final act of Muppet Christmas Carol is a great example of setting boundaries when your job causes you undue stress. In this essay I will

My friend just sent me this t-shirt design and I need it so much.

Dick Advocaat is the head coach of the Curaçao football team, who will be the first ever alcoholic drink managed by an alcoholic drink to play at a World Cup finals.

If you use GMail, AI (Gemini) was turned on yesterday by default and now scans all of your content for machine learning. To turn off, go to Settings>General and scroll down. Uncheck the box for "Smart features." There's other "Smart" add-ons as well, but that's the one that reads your content.

I love how the Hitman games go out of their way to point out that your targets are all morally terrible people to settle the player’s conscience, then for the DLC they’re now just like “F*ck it, let’s kill Eminem”

Of all the absurd ways of assassinating your targets in Hitman, a distinct omission from my bingo card was “put on a scarecrow costume and magically incinerate anyone within 20 feet of you in a deranged homage to 1973’s The Wicker Man”.

Very excited to make my @coherentcomedy.bsky.social debut, live on Zoom on December 1st!! 🥳 If you’ve wanted to see me do standup but don’t live around London, now’s your chance!