I'm not going to lie. I am extremely disappointed to find out that "Helsing SG-1" refers to an autonomous submersible rather than what would have been a gloriously insane crossover TV series.

“I can’t believe they would do this, the sheer audaci–“ [gunshot]

Not since the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury film has this podcast’s title felt more appropriate for a piece of Marvel media.

I’d love it if they just released a new movie exactly once every twenty years and never explained why.

not sure what language this is, i’ll try to find out as soon as i’ve posted this letter, reaching my fingers through as far as possible to ensure a precise delivery

There’s an almost pyrrhic feeling of achievement when you ring up your work IT line with an issue and leave them truly stumped. “Your computer is broken in a way we’ve NEVER seen before”

What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bulldozer.

Does anyone know if arsonists carry burner phones

Well don't I feel stupid

We just got back from a week in Spain and I think he missed us.

Jesus, I am not allowed to be the same age as Basil Fawlty

I thought they made this shit illegal?

no ethical consumption under calpol autism

episode of King of the Hill where Hank tells Peggy he got a great deal on a car by paying sticker price but it's Hank paying for a game with 140% markup to play it two days early

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

This video is absolutely incredible. I truly don't hate generative AI enough. Alanah nails this, and this all just illustrates that using AI is fundamentally a way to outsource your humanity. #5 is genuinely new to me and deeply ghoulish. Just, fuckin hell, why does anyone want this shit?

We recorded this podcast two years ago when Part 2 was supposedly six months away. The night after I saw it in the cinema, I went on a first date. By the time of Part 2’s current scheduled release, we’ll have been married eleven months.

Today I learned Spain’s speed camera road signs are even more old-timey and ridiculous than ours are.

The even more unbelievable crime fact (which I learned relatively recently) is that burglary has fallen by more than 90% since the 1990s. Did anyone notice? Nope. Does anyone believe it? Nope. But is is true? It is!

Lot of big names on this list, but the thing that struck me the most is that Rosemary Harris is still alive.

Subtly downgrade a band: Acquaintancebawumba

Genuinely powerful words to live by.

My whole career has been a lie

And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...

One of the biggest sources of fan-made video game rearrangements on the internet has been reposting this every few hours for the past week and it makes me smile every time.

If we let fridges advertise to us then before you know it they'll be doing cold calls.

can't really begin to explain the extent to which I do Not want to be filmed without my knowledge by someone wearing smart glasses while out and about

is $4.05 on what now

Thank you #TaskmasterNZ and Alice Snedden for ensuring that “Job, job, job, job, I need a job job” is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the year.

We just finished Dept Q on Netflix. Bloody hell that was good.

Map of Tingham, UK

My cat waking me up for breakfast

Fiancée gaming indoctrination update: she's now addicted to @powerwashsimulator.co.uk

Make a band singular: £1 Funk Railroad

This is so wonderfully niche and yet I must have it immediately

“Don Quixote Kong” is genius.

Another Nintendo Direct that doesn't mention Silksong. That game is never coming out

Nintendo selling a giant (and presumably expensive) accessory that’s required to play 14 old 8-bit games from a failed console, games only available to premium subscribers, released one by one over an undetermined amount of time… …is the most Nintendo thing I’ve ever heard. #NintendoDirect

It looks *stunning*. #NintendoDirect

If this is true, they’d better have the music in it. SMG has one of the best orchestral scores of any piece of entertainment ever made.

Worked out this morning that the launch of the PlayStation 2 is now closer to the Vietnam War than it is to the present day. We're old.

My #Trans friends please be safe xx

A real one, still the best corporate tagline I’ve ever seen, from a parking company in Seattle: “Expect a lot.“

Finally reached the last level of Ring Fit Adventure (after 3 years, what do you mean I’m lazy?) and I feel like if you’re designing an exercise game where you’re constantly reminding the player not to overdo it, and to stop if feeling weary… DON’T GIVE YOUR FINAL BOSS A SECOND PHASE.

ADHD is just repeatedly overbuying specific things because you retained the initial mental note that you were running low but didn't store the more recent mental note that you'd fulfilled the task.

[buying Scottish nukes at Southern Co-op] “Thank you for using the Faslane.”

I now have more comedy gigs in the diary than I’ve had for nearly two years. Feels good.

And, as a result, never follow them to avoid the awkwardness, so it just gets longer and longer and more and more awkward.