subtly downgrade a band The Beastie Toddlers

Subtly downgrade a band Plaether Strip

subtly downgrade a band Toolbag

subtly downgrade a band The Carving Pumpkins

subtly downgrade a band The Whom

subtly downgrade a band The Velveteen Underground

subtly downgrade a band The Rolling Pebbles

subtly downgrade a band 8 Inch Nails

I’m #resisting so fast my face is melting.

The Dumb Ass is the Mind of the Soul

We probably wouldn't be in this mess if everyone had been eating avocado toast.

it’s hard to avoid running into your ex when you live in the same town

i kinda regret buying that cursed monkey's paw from FB marketplace

me: it opens in a village disney: omg me: there's a song disney: holy shit, go on me: the mother is dead cradling me like a baby: sweet fuck, how much money do you need

reverse sidesaddle because I’m a goddamn lady

I #resist so hard that I’ve already lost 7lbs.

America's like if a half smoked cigarette wished it was a country

There was a mix-up at the factory and you got Girl Scout cooties by mistake.

If you don’t reskeet this then you’re part of the problem! ✊ #resist

Dibs on the band name “Inconsolable Belching”

The outrage never ends, does it?

i'm so close to standing on the side of the road barefoot wearing a sandwich board that says the end is nigh, like i'm just looking for the right hat at this point

Storm chasers were asking for tornado footage from ppl who live in Dallas today. A woman responded with videos of three kangaroos in her yard, and said "All kangaroos are fine!" I will be using that as an answer for how I'm doing from now on

When it comes to smart cookies who takes the cake? Chips Ahoy or Oreos? And what have they done with the cake?

Burning the teslas are good but I think we can go bigger folks. Let’s set a space x rocket on fire Wait. I’m being told they do that on their own Teslas it is!

The main benefit of noise canceling headphones is that you don’t have to hear the screams.

nbc: good news tonight, bob dylan's teenage cum rag found in landfill, sold for $3K at auction

I simply don’t see enough spontaneous dance battles these days.

"Okay, Marty, I want you to set up the camera over there. Anita, grab your mic and wait by the curb. As soon as they cross the road, I want you to ask- Well, you know what to ask. Come on folks, this is the interview of a lifetime! Don't screw it up."

She swore that she’d never been with a parrot before, but when he got her home, she sure seemed like a girl who’d seen a cockatoo.

just pried the gun out of Charlton Heston's cold dead hands which - i have to stress - he had explicitly stated, on camera, is allowed

the 4 food groups

As chair of the Funeral Luncheon Committee, l will ban “Liquid Death.”

Long story short, a poor attempt at shitposting should be called a shartpost.

I’ll throw this high stakes game of connect four idgaf

I’m not one to brag, but I got to watch¹ a preview of the Lingerie Bowl.² — ¹ wash & fold ² my wife’s laundry

It was the best of times. It was the this of times.

I don’t know how I feel about the ending to Dark City I mean it’s a nice ending but you never get to really go home but i guess it ain’t so bad if you can inject yourself with a syringe that turns you into the wizard and you now get to live in Oz forever

I’m loving this picture

The worst part of the Super Bowl is when the captain of the losing team is killed and his skin used to make next year's football.

I want to tell you everything but without all the words.

The Chiefs can still be named Super Bowl champions if Mike Pence has the courage.

I bet Philadelphians are great at naval warfare because they can shimmy up a crows nest like they were bred for it