“Abbey Road was a disaster until I arrived. Very low ratings.”

You’re dang right I’m still counting every day. Today marks 212 days past the congressional deadline, survivors and the American people still do not have the complete Epstein files. That is not transparency. It is delay, omission and mostly—protection. Keep asking who benefits.

Fuck it, from now on I'm calling him Mulch McConnell

Horny for wicked small flowers attracting beneficial insects

Telling my daughter that this is a penis:

America in 2025: MOAR DODGE CUTS America in 2026: you know the dookie lettuce really pairs well with my liver and screwworm casserole You fucking idiots

i've been using Donarhea

Someone once said “Kimmie here knows what side her bread is buttered on” and I’m like duh who wants unbuttered bread

☀️

Off to run some errands. Need anything?

My phone spends all day begging me to save democracy one $15 donation at a time. At some point, though, if a candidate can't raise money while running against Donald Trump, I'm not convinced my credit card is the missing piece of the strategy.

I started exercising in the mornings before work. Because I didn’t hate mornings enough yet apparently.

Just tell me the truth, that’s all.

you don’t have to do all the things cool how about none of them

🖤

Tuesday *Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not (1944) (not a film noir)

the days where you would not be upset if your breakfast somehow caused your death

Tuesdays, amirite?

Class action suit against Heritage foundation.

America tested false positive for being great again

Terrifying if literal.....shit talking

"does anyone know someone who can alter the date on a death certificate?" - GOP group text going around

I am not sure why “fascism” isn’t a trending topic under the discover tab 24/7

ICE has STOLEN an Indigenous Tribal ELDER from NM, who was on her way to CHEMO. She stopped for gas, ICE then approached her, she showed all of her proper, legal documentation. They still stole her away. They're denying her of life saving CHEMO. When will it be enough. #ShedShed #ViVaHerAlliance

This is where we're at, people. It's not just in the US. It's all of us.

The FIFA president holding onto that trophy in a death grip so Trumpy Von Entitledouche wouldn’t steal it was hilarious

They're too busy attacking progressives. zeteo.com/p/the-arrest...

I gotta say, no influencer has ever influenced me.

19-year-old Pvt. Isabella Gonzales died defending this country. Think about that while politicians demonize immigrants and terrorize Latino communities. Americans with names like Gonzales have always fought, bled, and died for this nation. RIP to her and Lt. Tyler Feehan. 🇺🇸

A lot of people don’t realize the dust bowl wasn’t a natural phenomenon. It happened when agrobusiness interests dramatically transformed the plains without regard for drought, and created vicious dust storms that choked whole families to death. That’s what I think of when I read about data centers.

Hey, it's perfectly normal to be the United States Senate majority leader and not be seen in public since the CSI team loaded your lifeless body in the back of a slowbulance 30 days ago

Melania saying Trump “just wants to protect women” is like saying Melania only fcks men for enjoyment- this walking twatfaced fembot is more disgusting than a bowl of cat piss left out in the July sun

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was printing "gluten free" on things that obviously never had gluten to begin with

"Days of speed and slow-time Mondays"

Me waking up Monday and realizing capitalism renewed for another season.

What is it with dogs and sticks! 🐕🪾😂

This goes out to everyone in the US, but especially looking at our politicians

My founding fathers.

RIP Jennifer Finch (Bassist for L7) Fuck cancer

We can properly talk shit about someone without joking about their gender and sexuality. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

Good morning from Ukraine. Still free. Still standing. Still impossible to break. #ukraine #ukrainians #ukrainiangirl #ukrainerussiawar #ukrainian