It's been raining all day and all I keep thinking of is

“Earth is a pleasure cruise for 1000 people and we're all just the staff.”

Ohhhh so the reason he wanted to go to Epstein’s island so bad is bc Elon heard he had children

Still feels weird to not habitually open Twitter but so far it's been fine. Taking the app off my home screen helped.

Whelp. Guess I'm done with Twitter entirely then. It has decided to "lock" my 15 year old account until I go through some sort of verification process. No thanks.

But sure, Hasan was wrong for not promising to vote for this Republican with a D next to his name.

Oh you mean the company funded by PETER THIEL?

i wonder about a universe in which Melora got to be a recurring character, but (i say this with love) no one should have to date Julian Bashir (except the lizard man, who Gets It)

In a training zoom call for work and one of the participants asks "will there be time for role playing- and the entire rest of the group was INSTANTLY like

Nothing gives me more confidence in an insurance company than a ditto sheet application riddled with typos.

Holy shit. The asshole investor that did the hostile takeover of Southwest and absolutely ruined their reputation is now selling off his shares and pulling out of the company. Fuck rich people forever.

they pissed off the WeRateDogs guy enough from him to break character to directly tell them off, that's genuinely impressive levels of being an asshole

Love how a huge part of working in the service industry in the US is constantly having to treat your customers like infants and hold their hand through everything because they are almost universally dumb as shit and will say it's your fault when they inevitably fuck everything up.

FUCK EM UP CHAT

kind of funny there are prob 1,000 major US musicians and every time conservatives need to put up a music artist to counter a mainstream narrative, they put up kid rock. "ok here's kid rock again" for the next 30 years, an octogenarian man in jean shorts rapping something from the 1990s

If there’s one thing you know Bill Clinton would ever do it’s lie under oath

💯👇

I am not trusting Discord with my ID and netiher should you.

Macbeth: SHIT

Terrified Conservatives Lose Ability To Speak English After Exposure To Bad Bunny Performance https://theonion.com/terrified-conservatives-lose-ability-to-speak-english-after-exposure-to-bad-bunny-performance-dios-mio-cry-millions-of-panicking-republicans/

Pedro Pascal, Karol G, Cardi B, and Jessica Alba!!!

I think it's very fun that they were like "idk here's Alolan Gaga"

lol

Was not expecting Soraya Montenegro in the middle of that Elf commercial but it certainly made me lol.

Something else to see Green Day perform American Idiot at the Super Bowl here, where the lyrics written to protest the W Bush administration’s bullshit are even more relevant now, when the media is visibly controlled by fascist bootlickers

Where the hell did all these frogs come from? I live on top of a freaking canyon and I've never heard them like this before.

If you campaigned for the presidency on a promise to destroy these assholes, you would win a landslide the size of FDR in 1936, when he campaigned on a promise to destroy these assholes.

Being a millennial has ruined celebrity names for me. I hear a song and my brain will go "oh, that's Dula Peep" or "I think this is Poot Lovato's sister" or I'll be watching a movie and be like "she seems familiar, I think that's Not-Pia Zadora" (I blame @stellarvelocity.bsky.social for that one)

Oh my god. Trump shot himself on live TV and the looks on Pam Bondi and RFK Jr's faces are just

Folks look at you like you're crazy when you say we're in the midst of the worst, most unprecedented Article I constitutional crisis in American history, & then it's Saturday. Again, every time someone says "Trump can't do that" the only serious response is "Yes, he can, until Congress removes him"

Probably the greatest updating of the I Love Lucy Vitametavegamin gag in modern media. There will never be another one like Moira. RIP Catherine O'Hara.

❤️

Nothing says "I am deathly ill" like sitting on the floor of my bathroom with the shower running while eating popcorn.

(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star) Does this look like a big laser to anyone else

trump wants to kill you. whether it’s an ICE agent shooting you, a cancer drug trial being defunded, increased air pollution, or defunding safe streets funding, the one universal thread in all of their policies is that they think the very idea of making the world a better place is a liberal hoax

TikTok is under right wing billionaire control now. Plan your exit strategy.

The AI evangelists want us all to conveniently forget that they were all telling us we had to buy bored apes or we would be left out of the Economy Of The Future four years ago.

let's collab @meakoopa.bsky.social

The only people I trust for religious discourse on the internet are @jpbrammer.bsky.social and @meakoopa.bsky.social

This article is like if They Might Be Giants found God, then went to Applebee's on an entire pharmacy's worth of quaaludes.

MGM making a whole ass movie about Melania that nobody will see in the hopes of crawling up Trump's ass and being allowed to eat the corn out of his turds is objectively hilarious.