As of today I'm one month sober. I'm not looking cooking for accolades, any and all should go to my brother Craig. I owe him my success.

Federal prosecutors on Tuesday were unable to secure a felony assault indictment against a man who threw a sandwich at a federal agent on the streets of Washington this month, according to two people familiar with the matter.

Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High https://theonion.com/everyone-involved-in-pizzas-preparation-delivery-purc-1819564897/

Dear Professor - You were wrong, girls don't have "tiny sentinels down there," and now I know. Kitty was right, you are a jerk. - Scott

I don't know how much longer I can deal with the fatigue. It's killing me.

I'm sick of this.

i'm sorry

I was feeling way too run down to really comment, but James Dobson dying? Good. I relish it. When Barry Goldwater warns people to you're too far gone, that's saying something.

RETVRN

Post a non-religious photo you think of as holy.

Jack Kirby was too good for this world, he was from the fourth world

Once you embrace the evocation of how movies make you feel instead of solving them, your cinematic world opens up

Kristin and I have stayed married in paper so she has access to decent health insurance, so the divorce papers getting served just now caught me by surprise. I'm totally ok with it, though.

a liberal: "gavin newsom's social media troll game is HEATING UP 🔥🔥🤣" a trans girl: "i just want to play sports with my sisters"

Soon as I get home, I'm lying on the couch, putting on some kind of cooking competition, taking my glasses off, and hoping I half doze,

As cliched as it is to say, I really am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Stupid sexy Flanders...

Cooking is the oldest form of magic

I've never understood dudes who thought it was a flex to show off their Rolex watches. Oh, you spent $10,000 on a watch and it doesn't even transform into a robot? dumbass.

He interrupted a meeting with European leaders to call Putin. What in the ever-loving fuck?

MS Max MS No, no, no, no...This time I mean it. MS Max

disney really said dump em out jamie

Three weeks sober.

Huge congrats to @ryannorth.ca @chrisfenoglio.bsky.social @charliekirchoff.com @heatherantos.bsky.social and @idwpublishing.com for an insanely well-deserved Hugo win! Suck it, that time Old Picard dragged his ex to a space anomaly and almost destroyed the universe.

I noticed another teacher showing their class The Sound of Music with motion smoothing on, so between periods I changed the settings on their classroom TV. I walked by later and it had been turned back on

cars should explode if people back them into parking spaces

I'm willing to begrudgingly accept that Batman does believe in social services, paying his fair share of taxes as a billionaire, and anonymous charity of various types. But what I cannot abide is his vicious lobbying against bike lanes and speed bumps for the benefit of his horrible car

Poll Finds Americans Still Believe Greatest Threat To Public Health The Undertaker theonion.com/poll-fi...

Happy 4th birthday, Jake and Elwood

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

@lecinenerd.bsky.social I was getting caught up on 30-20-10, and was delighted to hear Mr. Roberts mentioned in Classic Corner. My grandfather was a navy man in the Korean War and didn't really care to talk about it, and he generally avoided war movies. He LOVED Mr. Roberts though and we watched it-

Fatigued and frustrated

Shoe me your getaway vehicle

Diminish a band: Dave Matthews

Look at what they took from us!

Non-prescription version

Happy X-Men Blue/X-Men Gold Day to those who celebrate! (X-Men #1, featuring X-Men Blue, and Uncanny X-Men #281, featuring X-Men Gold, on sale date: August 13, 1991)

This fatigue sucks.

Not a Verhoeven movie

*Deep, exasperated sigh*

We all know that the best comic for new comics readers is the third issue of the Pizza Hut X-Men comics.

A kid named Big Balls got beat up by some teens and now the President is declaring martial law

Two weeks sober.

Ah, the Sunday evening doldrums.

For what purpose?

Living my life way over the Ham Limit

Bleh