Just found out that my primary client agency is massively cutting my work (just in time for le holidays!) so if you or anyone you know needs copywriting/editing (websites! bios! marketing assets! whole ass books!), press/comms, production or ops or just general admin, plz let me know.

I substituted tequila with paint thinner and lime with (more) paint thinner—instead of ice, I used cinder blocks (whole), and in place of salt I used broken glass—and all I can say is this margarita sucks.

Also, a reminder that the antidote to hopelessness is community. Join a community action or rapid response group. If there isn't one where you live, start one. Get to know your neighbors and be there for them. Find your people and hold on tight to one another.

This story Carl Nassib told on RC's pod about coming out in the NFL cracked me up. His delivery is so good!

ACTOR ANNOUNCEMENT

A second levee broke south of Seattle last night as our relentless parade of atmospheric rivers continues. Thinking of the John Holdren quote that we have three options: mitigation, adaptation or suffering. The third is growing ever more apparent as progress lags on one and two.

why aren't they throwing bread at me. what do the ducks have that i do not

I would like to state that the person sending this email has been great to work with & was presumably not in a position to influence my work getting slashed to the point where it will now not even cover my rent this month, buut the look to camera I did after reading this

Your email does not, in fact, find me well, as you can see by the complete lack of exclamation marks in my response.

Just found out that my primary client agency is massively cutting my work (just in time for le holidays!) so if you or anyone you know needs copywriting/editing (websites! bios! marketing assets! whole ass books!), press/comms, production or ops or just general admin, plz let me know.

"Dicking around" (complimentary)

The National Weather Service in Seattle just issued a flash flood warning for portions of Kent, Renton and Tukwila along the Green River, Duwamish Waterway and Cedar River. The Green River levee has failed. If you are in a low-lying area "move to higher ground now. Act quickly to protect your life"

Ours will always go to 11. RIP.

Would you like to watch Hattie Mae eat some snacks?

"But as women flock to OnlyFans, many will ditch education and careers for wecams" man if you say those words out loud what youre actually saying is that you dont know any women

Maybe YOU’RE running out of ideas because you laid off all of the people with good ideas @vox.com

Netflix-Paramount-WB could never pull off the magic of PBS:

These greedy ass motherfuckers spreading climate disinformation just to muddy the public debate and prevent policy actions that might save our communities at the cost of their emission-based profits can rot in hell.

Oh yeah Dickens, the master of the unambiguous! "it was the best of times, it was the worst of time" WHICH WAS IT, MAN???? STOP TOYING WITH ME!!!

Old Men Can Have Little A Country As A Treat

hes giving good advice idk what the problem is

Sam's the best. And also has the best description of my own comedy, which isn't the point, but is still impressive. Be like Sam (cool kind funny dude) (gender neutral), or at least watch Sam's special:

Max is great, check out his book n recs!

was in the middle of editing this when Marco Rubio announced Calibri was woke so I figured I should throw him a bone of sorts

Being an adult is you can eat whatever you want & the only thing stopping you is the consequences of your actions. In other news, my dinner tonight is an impulse-made casserole of Stuffing And Stuffing Alone.

I would laugh if this wasn't so true 😭

Back in my day, if you had a cockamamie theory about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or some shit, you discussed it with your buddies, who were also high as fuck

In these polarizing, divided times, we can all come together, lovingly united to agree: 12 Days Of Christmas sucks shit

When I’m the Dictator of America, I’m banning health and wellness influencers/grifters. All of them. No exceptions.

if you give me SEVEN godforsaken swans-a-swimming for Christmas, I assume you want to see my blood spilled that is not a present that is an assassination attempt

And God saw the boys that he had made, and behold, they were back in town

going to Portland tomorrow to get a Devil's Dill Sandwich Shop #2 & a Little Big Burger bacon cheese but am also stopping by Dead Comics Society & the late show at Al's Den to do their shows, incidentally. Related, you're not allowed to watch the below video unless you're a BC, WA, or OR resident

One of our local sports photographers got a picture in the Time 100 Photos of the Year & to commemorate that I made this out of one of her other great works:

It Might Get Loud (2009)

O f f i c i a l l y one of us

Also: Musicians/actors are both making way less money on sales/residuals now than they did before streaming, and that's been going on for 10+ years at this point so even the "biggest stars" well into their careers are nowhere near as financially secure as they used to be.

I love this and it makes me sad at the same time. Art and culture; what the humanities at large concern themselves with, have always been essential to solving problems in the “real world” but because this can almost never be measured, they continue to be deemed expendable.

Come on down to the Hockey shit show

No less than 5 minutes later, behold:

Heartbreaking: This Dumb Idiot Has Had The I Have A Structured Settlement And I Need Cash Now Song Stuck In Her Head For Nearly 10 Days And Is About To Throw Full Wine Bottles At The TV Until It Stops

Why it matters

One of the most infuriating things about LLMs is that it is a genuinely interesting and useful piece of technology, that has been sold to a bunch of rapacious execs as something it is not, who have then insisted on shoving it into every application where it is not needed nor wanted

The death of browsing is part of the reason art is the way it is now. Our opinions are largely fed to us by algorithms. Spending a spare 15 minutes wandering around a bookstore or comic shop or video rental place was how you found stuff you wouldn't ordinarily pick up and thereby expanded your taste

new comedy show!

Crazy how the dog that deserves to win the National Dog Show is whatever you had as a kid. Moreover, the Newfoundland was robbed of the working breeds title this year.

Wanna be scowled at? Time to call Santa Lucia, the patron saint of judgemental statues

the majestic forest doofus

Inside you there are two wolves...