at a coffee shop and a tech speak guy just used the phrase “reverse paywall” which i’m pretty sure is just extortion

Friends are warmer than gold when you're old And keeping them is harder than you might suppose Lately, I tend to make strangers wherever I go Some of them were once people I was happy to know

picture me saying “there’s not a lot of alleys in new york city” the same way that jake gyllenhaal says “not a lot of people have basements in california” in Zodiac (2007)

Cop: Can you describe the man who stabbed you? Me: He kept going like this [stabbing motion]

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Les Deux Amies, 1894-95

getting real guy with a face vibes from this guy with his face

i was pretty hot last night

getting ready

What a whimsical and inviting nature

allergic to 4 of these celery tastes like piss due to genetics grapefruit can’t eat cuz of meds coconut gives me migraines i’ll eat the rest tho

When the dying's finally done and the suffering subsides All the suffering gets done by the ones we leave behind

Steph Curry will need to find his place in the pecking order when he returns to the Warriors' lineup. This is Gui Santos's team now.

They should have commercials for oatmeal, like they do for cereal, with a wacky cartoon Quaker. The kids keep trying to take it from him, but he can’t fight back for religious reasons

I am very attractive now and I need to be objectified but I will not post any photos demonstrating why

oh yeah i am very pretty

people love to punish trans women. and it’s like i always say: trans women are people too.

My most Millennial-coded trait is my unconditional love of “You Get What You Give” by New Radicals

on a 20 year reunion tour with the abyss

Friends are warmer than gold when you're old

holy shit holy shit TOM DeLONGE LISTENED TO OUR BIG GAY BLINK-182 BENEFIT COMPILATION HE HAS OFFICIALLY DECLARED IT "RAD" AHHHHH afewgoodrecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-g...

That wasn't Bugs Bunny

Bad bunny, easily one of the funnier artist names for people to get big mad at

Bad Bunny did a variation of the Spike Lee double dolly shot live so you’re now legally required to give this a five star on Letterboxd!!!!

i forget who made it but it cracks me up lol

I got to be part of this badass comp, and cover my favorite Blink 182 song, which was a goal of mine for a long time

here is @swanreal.bsky.social’s amazing track off of the Blink comp out on @afewgoodrecords.bsky.social afewgoodrecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-g...

My Fair Lady (1964) is trans coded because it’s about a beautiful woman voice training and a misogynistic chaser doctor.

2 of my girlfriends are on this! you should go give it a listen! @rhinestonetomboy.bsky.social @swanreal.bsky.social

we need a transgender media outlet that isn’t a tboy humiliation ritual

I'm sorry but posting AI memes about yourself is like coming out as a funko pop

what would you prefer: cum with a consistent texture (but it’s crunchy) or cum with an inconsistent texture (mostly smooth, but a little crunchy)

A pot calling a kettle anything at all would be a medical miracle

any poem can be an acrostic if you’re bad at spelling

semen stains the mountaintops: beautiful, poetic. but when i cum on magic mountain i’m asked to leave the six flags

semen stains the mountaintops: beautiful, poetic. but when my cum rolls down the hill i’m asked to leave the park

i think its good what ok go did on those treadmills

fewer songs these days about old riverboats

i have just gotten off a productive call with sauron where i laid out our requests - nazgul bodycams - morgul knife must remain sheathed unless suspect is determined to be carrying the one ring - shelob will be the new point of contact

When they turn on the chair Something's added to the air forever

L.L. Bean stands for Ladies Love Mr. Bean

Jesus blessing a woman with the recipe for Pepsi

ideal, honestly

this is the man who taught me you could spell jeff wrong

@littlepuss.net launch for @ravineangel.bsky.social’s Persona 👤 featuring Greta Doyle, @emotrophywife.bsky.social, and @reversibledestiny.bsky.social.

floppy hair ginobili

giant social media platforms are so weird. here’s a hot girl playing with her balls and licking her cum. here’s a podcast about the best contracts in the nba. here’s the horrific crimes being committed by the state. here’s a joke where i just say “butt”.