i’ve never felt like i should be a “phone left outside the bedroom at night” person until this very moment

If you get pepper-sprayed, avoid rubbing your eyes. Instead, irrigate them with lots of water, says Dr. Trisha Pasricha, our Ask a Doctor columnist.

Happy 3 year anniversary to this post

I promise you will want to watch this.

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

replace rfk jr with this guy

Hey you! You’re Enough.

Oh, this look amazing! store.steampowered.com/app/4285930/... Not only it's a RPG set in modern-day India, exploring their folklore & myths, it's also made by a team of Indians who have a channel of animated videos on Asian history: www.youtube.com/channel/UCpZ...

I implore you to hit up CVS and get your flu shot. Please don’t game it with whatever else you heard. It’s real serious and we don’t gave any public health allies in the government now.

lmao

SHITPOST GAME: scroll bluesky until you get mad. instead of responding, roll a d6 and do the corresponding action: 1-2: X # of pushups 3-4: 5X # of squats 5-6: 2X # of mountain climbers X is the number of times you have gotten mad repeat until you are sick of bluesky

One of the best to ever do it

Honestly what I want is a Camina Drummer Life Simulator. Half insanely detailed resource management tactical space game half pansexual polyamorous dating sim.

🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

No! No!!!

Crash Blossom is a classic example of linguistic ambiguity but also it sounds like a cool hacker name

Incredible story. Garmin has a feature in some of their new glass cockpit systems that can detect if a pilot becomes unresponsive. This weekend it activated in a non-test scenario for the first time www.flightradar24.com/blog/aviatio...

[first day as a shepherd] boss: where are you going? me: [pointing] star boss: what? why me: [shrugging] baby

amazing photo on spanish wikipedia's chinchilla article

My response to anything over the next two weeks

It seems the raccoon might have a problem — and it’s not just drinking. The raccoon, famously known for its Nov. 29 drunken spree at a Virginia liquor store, is suspected of sneaking into multiple businesses in the same shopping center.

Grandchildren Politely Decline David Cronenberg’s Bedtime Story Offer https://theonion.com/grandchildren-politely-decline-david-cronenbergs-bedtime-story-offer/

so insanely fucking real for this

the people of this great republic yearn for locomotive transport

two skrimps in love, seasonally

Our archivist found this real, paid-for, pretty rad Mr. Beef ad in the April 2004 edition of The Onion.

Trying out a new PCP's office, and their "preferred language" dropdown on the intake form is time-traveler inclusive.

political science

SIMPLY HAVING A

People need food. Market won’t provide it. Government should. It’s literally the whole point.

Evil emperor kicks a wretched homunculus into the pit for failing to find the Chosen One – a classic failure to apply the RACI matrix. 💪 Responsible: the Wretched Homunculi 💀 Accountable: the Scheming Vizier <- kick HIM into the pit 🤷 Consulted: the Dark Oracles 👁️ Informed: the Fetid Stakeholders

the “thanksgiving food is bad” discourse raises its ugly head every year, but the truth remains that thanksgiving food can be amazing as long as you know how to cook. the problem is we’re throwing a few million sunday drivers directly into a grand prix

Remember. We know these drugs are safe. There is no need to do any of this.

Folks, I did it. I made the Cooks Illustrated competing pear crisps, and then I made my friends judge them blind.

Alan Dershowitz is one of those claiming Epstein was not a pedophile because he pleaded guilty to one count of having sex for money with a 17-year-and-10-month-old person. "That’s not a pedophile." See this important response from Julia Brown, the brave reporter who broke the news on this

Silicon Valley, 1990s: Free and open access to all the world’s knowledge will usher a new utopian age of information! Silicon Valley, 2025:

WHAT

this has to be the single greatest image in the history of sports