i was feeling inspired and invented a new cocktail. was really hoping it’d turn out better

getting dolled up is when you buy a deoderant called like "gentle breeze" and boymoding is when you buy a deoderant called like "wolf nut"

i need to get a big red trenchcoat and hat to match my status as an international woman of mystery unrelated but if anyone asks where i've been, please say "not at the Louvre"

more and more we find ourself relating to Raistlin Majere (nagging cough that won't go away, possessing knowledge that would drive most to madness, longing to become a dark and terrible god through the magic of the Dragon Orbs)

women only want one thing, and it’s the Richard Scarry apple car.

women only want one thing, and it’s the flying car from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

define your musical taste in eight artists: CAKE Descartes a Kant Ladytron Led Zeppelin Ludwig van Beethoven Poe Portishead Silversun Pickups

it’s said all the time but I think we should continue to hammer home how insane it is that we got dead-eyed bros trying to sell us robots that will free us from the supposedly cruel burden of “creative careers” instead of the actual cruel burden of “doing menial household chores”

this is sublime

seems like “speaking ill of the dead” is a bannable offense here (but only when the dead dude was a massive bigot) funny how free speech absolutists are always earnest about protecting the right to express bigotry but never the right to criticize it

me [to my wife, who is fluent in French]: you know in French they use commas for decimal points wife: i know me: they're comma-nists

You can always tell it’s October when the witch’s cauldron comes out

Me: son, you're adopted Son: WHAT Me: no no it's a good thing, it means we actually wanted you Daughter: WHAT

post your favorite black and white movie

Share your favorite black & white movie

your favorite black & white movie

Donald Knuth, being an organist, almost certainly adores Halloween. Well, unless he secretly hates Bach's Toccata in D minor? I'm now very curious!

Oh GAWD shoutout to *all* of you whose threads i forgot weren’t mine and trounced all over your mentions 🤦🏻‍♀️

whew, just woke up from the scariest nightmare i’ve had in ages. was a combination of several different anxiety dreams with a ghost story tying it all together

✅ flu shot ✅ covid-19 shot

Her Royal Highness, Princess Potato

flintstones bit where fred washes his hands then pulls on the hand dryer dinosaurs tail and it rips ass for a minute straight

A poem I wrote just now. I hope it resonates in you like it does in me

Quote your energy on bluesky

excuse me while I put on a little fuck music

excuse me while i put on a little fuck music

ruin a song with “literally”: Literally the Sunshine of Your Love

best pie: banana cream best ice cream: black cherry best donut: apple fritter best bar: Snickers best cake: strawberry cream best other: crème brûlée

for the hundredth time

the best videogame movie to date is not based on a videogame

related: for some people, learning and using their name can be a cheat code to rapport. HOWEVER, some folks will see it as overly familiar and transgressive (especially since salespeople overuse it as a social engineering hack)

i like to think of eye contact as making a triangle between eyes and shoulders, with only occasional direct contact for rapport or emphasis. if you struggle with that, pointing your EAR to the speaker can also be acceptable, but you’ll want to backchannel more (nodding, uh-huh, i see, etc)

really helpful communication tips!

As others have pointed out, the idea that we can control their behavior by modeling respectability (cooperating with the compulsory grief around Kirk, for example, and not saying truthful/angry things about him) is akin to an abused person's belief that they can control the abuse by being perfect.

ruin a song by adding the word “literally” to the title Literally Stupid Girl

ruin a song by adding the word “literally” to the title Literally Purple Rain

visiting a friend & got made up for the first time in a while

haha i’ve said more than once watching a makeup tutorial, “hey this is just like painting miniatures!” main difference is in how they’re awkward (too small vs too close)

I found this great authentic Italian place in NYC. Get this, they liked us so much that when we ran out of breadsticks, they brought a whole new order FOR FREE. Thank you, Olive Garden! Hospitaliano!

got my reading glasses on today

I need the Adam Sandler remote from that movie about why you should never use the Adam Sandler remote

maybe she's born with it... maybe it's fancy feast

Fuck them all.

listening to DAK for the 347th time this week

in 2025, if you see somebody calling out bigotry, and you want to reply: "I can appreciate the artist's body of work and not the artist's personal opinions" you should keep that thought to yourself and then have a hard talk with your conscience (or therapist) about why you called bigotry "opinions"

Officially announcing v3.0 of my #DoubleFeatureFont ! v3 of Double Feature has a tons of kerning pairs for better legibility, as well as a (nearly) complete Latin character set. The download link will be posted in a few days.

Everyone stop, this is important